Moving to an entirely new state

Not sure if this is in the correct area BUT....

Wife and I have been seriously thinking about moving out of Massachusetts and going west and starting anew. Still working on the exact state. We do not have much left here for us as the majority of our families have passed or just some other personal reasons. I personally, haven't even left New England in my entire 29 years of living. We do not have kids and have no want to have any, for multiple reasons. With that, most people around us, do have kids and do not associate with us anymore. Kind of one of those, they only talk to you now if they need something.

I'm going to be turning 30 next year and I've spent 18-29, working straight out of high school whether it be Machining, Warehouse, Shipping & Receiving, Other Manufacturing, and now currently, Parts Department at a Residental & Industrial Generator Sales, Service, & Rental company. I'm also a Hobby/Small business Woodworker. Alongside that, I have spent every single day, pretty much, taking care of loved ones up until their passing. I've said more than I can remember, that going to work was a vacation from the countless of hours that would be put into after work until I finally found time to sleep. With pretty much no one left, I find it time to move on with my life now, experience new things, new places, new people.

My wife, went to College and graduated but now working in Manufacturing on the Service Coordination side. Many years of Managerial experience in Food Service also, and some years in the Car Rental service.

We aren't city people and we aren't completely isolated people either.

Has anyone done a giant change of life like this? How did you go about it? What would you had done differently?

I'm just looking for stories on peoples experiences with this subject.

 

Will follow this thread. I am in a similar situation. Contemplating moving east, but south of you.

 

I'll just throw out there what I ended up doing years ago. Basically after my son was born I told my wife (at the time, whole different story) that we should move out of CA to CO. The biggest factor was cost of living and the direction CA was going but I did have some family that had moved to CO already(so that was an added plus for me). We did go out to CO prior to moving to check out locations and prices just to get an idea of things(talk to locals if you can). My wife was able to transfer within the corporate umbrella so that made things a little easier but I had to quit and find a new job. That was not the best situation of only having one income til I got hired so that I probably would do differently if I had to do it again.

 

I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, I'll share my thought process when considering a move.

• Job market (if I am tied to a desk / location) - Florida and Texas are ON FIRE as far as the job market and companies are flocking to those states (and others)
• Culture (who lives there and what, in general, are the cultural values). This is a big deal for me. Certain cultures are open and welcome outsiders, others communities shun newcomers especially if you are of different culture. Others are downright hostile depending on the area. This varies by region and communities.
• Crime statistics
• Housing Market / Rental Prices + the availability of garage or covered parking (a big deal if you are moving to a place that gets monster hail storms or is high crime)
• Climate
• Taxes - I just moved from NE to TX and gave myself a passive 6% annual raise because no state income tax. Since I don't own property in TX I don't get hammered with the property taxes so it is the best case scenario for me!
• State Government - this is a big thing for me. . This should be a consideration if you and the wife feel strongly and have political values. If those values are important I would think the place you would want to live would have leadership in place that reflects those values. If you are a big fan of the 2nd Amendment and like to go to the gun club every Thursday to stay sharp and regularly conceal-carry your weapon, Portland, Oregon may not be the right place. Alternatively, if you couldn't care less about weapons and love to hike Oregon may be a fit.
• Spiritual Needs - do you and the wife have any needs there and will the place you move to support / fulfill those needs. Not an issue for me since we meet virtually and in person at least 2x a year so as long as I have internet I am good. If you are dialed into a local church, mosque, or synagogue and that is a big part of your life that should absolutely be a consideration.

My counsel: sit down with your wife and discuss the most important things for each of you in a place. This may be several conversations as you are considering things that you have never had to think about and your feelings may change between conversations. This is a big change that can impact your relationship so I would be keen to make sure each of you feel good about all of the categories in the decision matrix. Once you settle on a few top locations go on a trip and scout out your top two or three places after doing your homework. Alaska should be on the table too! Why not?

Edit: I added the spiritual bullet and built out the last paragraph after considering the question further.

 

All depends on your priorities. What’s most important. Cost of living, job availability, freedom etc.

 

I’ve traveled fairly significantly in the US for the job, for a few years. Lots of nice places and people. Maybe travel the county before making any significant jumps. When you do jump, rent don’t buy.

 

This! Take some time and travel the US, places youd want to go.

I actually bought a super pacific camper for this exact reason. I dont want to wait till im too old to move where i dream to live. I want to wake up daily and see mountains. Hell, sun would be nice too. NE Ohio isnt big on sunshine. So ill take my yime traveling, seeing the places i may want to move to.

 

I've traveled a lot. Been just about everywhere between Miami and Montana. There are lots of places that are great places to visit, but I'd not want to live there. Nothing west of the Mississippi or east of the Rockies where I'd want to live. From the Rockies westward is a place everyone needs to see in their life.

 

Following...

 

Just find a job you like and move. I’m on 8th state right now.

 

TLDR, but I would also incorporate pay with the job market. My girlfriend moved from GA to AZ and complains about the pay in the area that we live in. Unless you're working in the major metro area I.e. Phoenix, you'd be lucky to make over $20/hr where we're at.

 

^ this

 

I'll come back to this and add more information later, but the one piece of advice I can offer upfront, is do not move somewhere one of you isn't excited about moving to. I've done it, and my wife made it hell for me until we turned around and moved back to where we came from, 6 years later.

 

How do you both feel about traveling all over? Not just to one place and one house. Are you ok with staying with strangers and helping out in return for lodging?

 

Thirty four years ago, I packed up and moved out of Ohio and relocated in North Carolina. I made the move with no job prospects and left all my family behind. It was rough for the first few weeks, but I landed a mediocre paying job, which paid the bills until I found a better job. I met people through a local church, who educated me about the area, job opportunities, places to rent, best places to eat and shop, etc. As time went by I made more and more friends, learned the local "culture", etc. After a few years, family members packed up followed my move. Honestly, moving was one of the best things I have done in my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

I'm in a similar position albeit older..my main driver is the cost of living in MA plus my wife wants to retire, so I'd be more looking south because I could buy a house outright there.

 

Very much appreciate these responses that I can reflect on while we gather all our thoughts before fully committing. I don't personally know anyone that has up and left, because they "settled" where they are currently, whether they are happy or not. Hence why I came here to ask and see different perspectives and stories.

 

Following

 

Some good thoughts and perspective!

I like the one reply that states, if one of you isn't thrilled about the location, don't do it!

First, I want to commend you for putting family first. Taking care of those family members who need assistance and are somewhat totally reliant takes lots of heart. You stopped what you were doing and took responsibility of another human being. What compassion!

Now, it's time to focus your energy on taking care of yourselves. Definitely have the talk...several talks about all your concerns.

Take some time off work together and visit the top 3 places...I'd narrow it down as mush as possible so you can spend time at your possible destinations.

The biggest concern I would have (and my wife of 32 years has always reminded me) is cash in savings. How much would you need to have to live for a year without a job? (My wife is extreme in her thinking)

I'm from SoCal/LA and fortunate that I joined the military and had my living destinations determined/paid while serving my country. We currently live on the opposite coast and have adjusted to the DE lifestyle.

So, all the best in your joint discussions. Look forward to hearing what becomes of your path forward.

 

I can share my stories.

I'm a native Californian. Grew up in Los Angeles, Army for 3 years after high school, then college in northern CA and have been in this area since I graduated college in 1993. In the early 2000's, I started feeling something was missing in my professional life, and began the "If I could do anything with my life, what would it be..." contemplation. I wanted to do something that actually made a difference in my community, and the Information Technology field just ain't it. I ended up deciding that going to Law school, and becoming a Prosecutor was the goal, but I don't do change very well, so I did nothing for many years. Fast forward to the early 2010's... I had gotten laid off from two different companies due to head count reductions, and was in the midst of a period of unemployment / job hunting when I decided "Fuck it, now is the time!" So I began researching Law schools, the LSAT exam, etc., and headed down that path. My wife at that time is a Brooklyn (NYC) girl, and she had been pestering me to move to NY so she could be back home and near her family, so most of the schools I applied to were in NY / NJ. I got accepted to two schools in NY, made my choice, and off we went. I had been in my house in CA for 19 years, so I had a LOT of crap to donate / take to the dump / pack up. We had no kids either, but we did have 5 cats and a small dog. We ended up on the north shore of Long Island (school was on LI). Things went well for the first couple years, I made a lot of new friends at school (even though almost all of them were young enough they could be my children), life was decent. Unfortunately, after I finished my 1st year at school, I had used all my own money and went to apply for loans for 2nd year.... found out that I was ineligible for loans due to a bankruptcy which we filed for during one of the aforementioned periods of unemployment. So, I had no choice but to start looking for another job, back in the IT industry. The marriage had never really been good, and of course the same wife that had been pestering me to move to NY, was now blaming me that I couldn't finish school and had used all my money on paying law school tuition and we were now broke, and unemployed [she refused to work at all during the 7 year marriage]. I ended up leaving NY to return to CA after a particularly nasty fight, and started an entirely new life. And filed for divorce as soon as I found another job.

Fast forward to today. My current wife and I have been wanting to leave CA for a sane state (political and economic climate here is absolutely beyond fixing at this point). After some searching, I recently started a new job, permanent work from home, and a huge pay bump from the job I have been at for the last 5 years. My wife's parents lived just a couple miles from us, as soon as I started my new job, they sold their house and are packing up right now. They will be heading for Tennessee later this month to stay with another family member, while they look for a new house (TN, KY, NC). Once I have built up enough vacation days at my new job, my wife and I will pack up our place, put it on the market, and head east to stay with her folks until we, too, can find a new place. We also have no kids, and this time, I only have to worry about 2 cats and a medium sized doggo. As I went through the whole cross country move just 9 years ago, I am not at all stressed about this next move. Looking forward to being out of the cesspool of CA, actually.