My Challenge To Take On Debt

Update from 8/3/2015
It's been a month since I started this story. Not a whole lot has changed except my wife and I figured out the best way to pay all of this down. I also managed to get a small card paid off....today actually. It was one that had a leftover vet bill on it. Wasn't a lot but that's one less bill to worry about now.

I apologize in advance if this is long and/or boring to read. I'm not asking for any help or anything like that. I'm just writing down everything to help me visualize what is going on and my progress as the time goes by. If some of you would like to reply back with some things I haven't considered changing or share some of your stories, that would be good. I'm not trying to be rude about this part but just honest, if you come in here to just be an asshole about the situation or make a smart remark, please keep it to yourself. Yes I know I got myself into this, along with so many other people it's crazy. Yes I know I have to get myself out of this. Once again, I'm not asking for help. Just looking to share a story. I'll update this as I can, but most likely it will not be often unless it's just to reply to some comments as debt is a hard thing to get out of.

It all started right before my wife and I started to get married. We had already started getting some credit built and was doing well with it. I had a car in my name that her grandfather cosigned on. It was a low payment of $260 every month. Nothing too crazy. My wife had gotten her first credit card not long after to try and build some credit. We were looking to get a house after we got married and our lease was over shortly on our second apartment. Well, as I'm sure a lot of you know when you get married your family plays a big part in the decisions. They try too at least. You really learn who you can lean on for assistance and who stands back pointing the finger of shame for getting married in your 20s. Needless to say, my mother was single and was barely able to support herself. I didn't want to ask for her to help any, but she offered to help with what she could even if it wasn't much. My father and I weren't on good terms from years beforehand so I couldn't ask him for assistance with anything. My wife's side of the family helped with what they could which really helped a lot. Even after saving, having a tough budget, and family assistance it still wasn't enough. We cut what wasn't needed and made a lot of the stuff ourselves to cut down on costs. In the end, credit cards became our best friend. I had gotten my Capital One card a few months before and decided to use that to pay for what was needed. A week before the wedding, one of our ferrets grew a tumor on the top of his head. I was already drained from the wedding so once again, another $200 added to the credit card of death.

Keep in mind this whole time we were both finishing up college. Her family "made too much" to get Pell Grants so she had to work with small scholarships and student loans. I was able to get a handful of grants but also ended up with student loans to help pay for the apartment. Granted we weren't making payments to them yet, but the balance was adding up and getting higher every year. For the honeymoon we had used our tax refund, and a little bit of leftover financial aid money , to pay for it. During our wedding we got some money from family and friends and instead of paying the cards off, we used to money for gas and having fun on our honeymoon. At that time, I had invited my father to come to the wedding. I honestly didn't know if he would show or not but he did. It was shocking enough to see him there but somehow we started talking and worked things out. Now we continue to stay in touch as father and son should do.

Fast forward five months and we moved out of our second apartment and was able to buy a townhome. It wasn't much, small 2 bedroom 2.5 bath but it was our first house together and we were happy to be moving forward. We weren't doing too bad because we got a decent rate on the house and it ended up being cheaper than the apartment we had moved out of. We graduated from school and I got my first real job to start my career. The pay sucked but I had to start out somewhere so I took it. At this time, I was still driving the POS Aveo5 that I had gotten to drive back and forth to school for gas. My wife was still driving her high school car as well. I had been keeping track of how much was owed on my car and what it was worth. Since I had to have a cosigner, the rate was pretty high and I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I had thought about just refinancing it in just my name but as I was watching the value of it, it was dropping about 1k every month or so. It was constantly in the shop with less than 60k miles on it. I decided it was time to get rid of it and we traded it for my wifes Rav4. I took her little car to continue driving since my work was further away. It was paid for but was also another Aveo. So needless to say it was also in the shop pretty often as well. A year went by with driving that little go cart around and I had gotten a small raise as did my wife. Decided to go look at Taco number 1, but ended up with Taco number 2 that I later saw on the lot. It was a little more but had more features. I'm still driving the Taco now and plan to continue driving it for as long as I can.

Somewhere around this time is when I got credit card number 2. There goes another mistake. You would think I would learn after credit card number 1 that the balance was going up and down like a roller coaster. The reason I got this one was for emergencies which ended up just being our vacation credit card instead for our anniversaries. Well, 3.5 years go by after buying our first house and my career was picking up. I had almost doubled my income, but unfortunately my job was a contract job so no benefits. That's how most of the IT jobs in the area are. I was tired of living in the area and being right in town. I was miserable and it was showing. We decided to sell the house and move back towards home in the small country lifestyle. We spoke with a realtor and decided on a list date. On the first day we listed, we had already received an offer and negotiated back and forth a few times before agreeing on a number. The day after it listed, we had signed a contract for it. Two weeks later we were signing papers in the lawyers office and moving out. I sort of wish we had just stayed and me sucked it up a little longer. I made way more money then and it would have made things easier but happiness is hard to challenge.

When we moved back, we had to move in with her parents for a few months. It was very tough and hard but we made it work. At the time we saved up a few thousand and started to pay a few bills down. Even though we didn't have rent/house payment we were still dragging along our credit card balances and student loans, plus two vehicles. After living with her parents for three months, it was time to find somewhere else to live. Things were getting tense and it just wasn't working anymore. We settled on a little old country house that had been slightly remodeled to look more appealing. The rent is a little higher than what I would like to be renting, but that's usually the case when you rent. We both have jobs, but since this is a small town, it comes with small pay. We were doing decent at first when we started renting, but shortly after my wife lost her job. It took three weeks to find another. During that time it was up to me to bring in the money for bills. I worked overtime when I could, but it only goes so far. Once again credit cards came to the rescue to buy groceries. We are still playing catch up from those three weeks even though that was three months ago.

Continue on post 2.....

 

So what am I trying to do to get myself out of this? Well for starters I'm admitting there's a problem that I got myself into and need to get out. Sometimes it just takes talking it out to figure out where to start. Since I started my job 7 months ago, I've gotten a small raise. That always helps things to get raises, but since my wife had lost her first job here and had to find another, she took a small pay cut. So my raise evened out her lost. Not too bad I guess as the situation didn't worsen any minus the three weeks she was out of work. I spoke with my boss to see if he was ok if I started working more overtime. He said he didn't have any problem at all. Now I come in 30 minutes early since there are workers here at 6:30am. I used to work 7-4 but at minimum I now work 6:30-4. That little bit of extra ends up giving me a couple hours of overtime every check. I also stay until 4:30-5 on some days. It isn't a whole lot of extra, but it adds up to be a couple of hundred dollars extra every month.

I've stopped buying junk at the grocery store and started to buy better food that actually fills me up instead of chowing down on a bunch of junk all day long. If I actually eat something that fills me up, I eat less junk food. If I eat less, I have to buy less next time we go to the grocery store. That saves a few dollars. I'm still wearing the same two pair of Khaki pants and same Polo style shirts I have had for years. They still look good as I take care of them and they still fit. Since these still work just fine, I haven't went out and bought new clothes just for the hell of it. The last pair of pants I got was only because the bottom of the legs were worn all to threads from walking on them. They were a tad too long. I also had to get some new socks as I wore the bottom of mine out. The pants I got to replace the others were Wal Mart specials for $20. Nobody knows, except for anyone who reads this, but they get the job done.

I enjoy drinking a beer, or six, while grilling or working outside. It's just something I enjoy. I'm cutting a lot of that out and drinking more water and such. Beer gets expensive plus it bloats you up like crazy. That saves a few dollars as well when I don't buy beer to stock the fridge up. As far as water, we buy whatever is on sale. I also carry this Bubba 72oz water container that I drink out of while I'm at work. I used to fill this up at home. Now I take it to work empty and fill it up while I'm there. Yes that's being a cheapskate but I'm saving a few gallons every month by doing this. I'm doing whatever I can to save a dollar or two.

I've stopped buying fountain sodas at the gas station just because I see it when I walk in to pay for gas, when I have cash versus debit card at the pump. I've also stopped buying coffee from the gas stations as well. My work provides coffee. It isn't the best, but I make it work as it's free. I brown bag my lunch just about every day possible. There are a few times when I go out for lunch with my wife, but it isn't often or much. We also hardly ever go out for dinner. I cook just about every evening when I get home since I get home an hour or two before my wife. Whatever is left from dinner, usually ends up being my lunch for the next day.

I haven't put anything new on credit card number 2 in a long time. Credit card number 1 has new charges though unfortunately. Mostly groceries but at least I'm down to using 1 instead of both of them. I'm seeing the balance come down on credit card number 2 which is a positive sign.

My wife and I spoke with our student loan people and they were helpful enough to put our repayment plan on an income driven plan. It has brought our monthly payment down by about 70%. That's a huge difference. Only thing is it lasts for a year. After a year we have to apply again for the income driven plan otherwise it jumps back up to full price again.

I've started to take on new tasks at work to learn new skills. One of our guys left for another company, so I've started to pick up some of the work he was working on. It's new to me so I'm still learning, but assuming I pick it up and catch on quickly, I'll take over his position. Taking his spot means a nice raise. It'll be a few months for sure before that happens, but it's something to shoot for.

So as you can see, I've got myself into some trouble but I'm taking steps to work it out. I'm sure there is a lot that I am missing, but you get the overview. If anyone has any thoughts or stories they would like to share, feel free to drop a reply and follow along. It will be a slow ride for sure, but one step and day at a time is how I see it.

 

Dang bro,

Hang in there and try and simplify. I have small credit cards with low to no balances. Basically if I can't pay cash I go without.
Had to get credit cards to build credit a few years back so I could finance my truck, and also close on our first home. SO the debt we will have is the home and one truck payment for a few more years.
I drove paid for cash vehicles, "cheap ones" for years. lol...

I too had a single mom with a very poor lifestyle, she was wealthy in her love and spirit but financially she did w/out a bunch for us kids.
I had a rocky relationship with both my fathers, birth and step-dad. It's been tough, not hard, but tough indeed at times.
Me and my birth father are doing better relationally but he doesn't have enough to help financially anyways. Guess that makes me want to
do better at my finances on my own.

Praying for you man, just remember to love your wife and take care of your family and things will be ok.

 

Thanks man, I appreciate it. I'm starting to live the pay with cash or live without as well. I've started taking a small amount out of the ATM after payday, and by small I mean like 20-40. If I can't buy something I "want" with it then it stays where it is and doesn't come home with me. My first car was a 93 Prelude that costed 2k. I drove the mess out of that thing and would still be driving it most likely if it wasn't stolen back in 2007. That's a whole story on it's own there. As like yours, my mother is wealthy in love and putting her children before herself. I tell her not too but that's just how she is. She now has someone to help her out and take care of her. I'm still adjusting to him since the last one was a piece of trash but she seems happy.

It was tough not getting along with my father but things are better now since we stop and talked at the wedding. You're right about seeing your own family struggle so it makes you want to succeed even more to not struggle. It's hard at times but taking it one step at a time versus trying to jump to the end makes it easier and more realistic.

 

I haven't been in your situation but the older I get, the more I want to simplify. I just recently downgraded one of my bikes (helped with insurance as well), and I'm working on downgrading one of the cars. It just feels better at the end of the day. A lot of my friends have the expensive bags, jewelry, etc. don't get me wrong I like those things, but I'm to the point now where i don't long for them anymore

 

#1 cut out sodas at the gas station. I carry a biggish handled water jug of Nestle flavored ice tea concentrate. I got lucky this time and paid .50 ea. and bought like 24 of them at Big Lots-in the discount aisle (you've got to look for it) and one bottle lasts 2+ weeks or so, so I've got drink until Christmas for like $12.

Don't worry what your car is "worth" it's all bullshit but buy the least expensive most reliable one you can.

Thankfully I don't drink beer. Growing up with an alcoholic friend and seeing his behavior (and then hearing he rolled his Hoopdie- a 72 Toyota Celica) proved to me I didn't want to go there.

You are seeking answers and that is an excellent start.

I read somewhere to get rich when you wash your hair, on the shampoo label it says "to wash hair, rinse and repeat" instead, to get rich, wash hair, rinse, DON'T repeat.

Good luck!

 

I also could recommend maybe cleaning out and try selling some extra stuff to help you get some debt down, if you have any
items of value you could part with.

Only reason I say this is a few years back I was moved to go on my first missions trip to Guatemala, I was working part time for a
local church in the childrens ministry there and I didn't want to ask for any contributions because I felt the Lord tell me to sell some
of my useless "stuff" in my storage unit I had been holding onto like forever. I mean He trusted me with the income and I wasn't exactly
responsible with it to say the least.
Well in under 45-days with eBay and Craigslist I had a 3500.00 trip paid for almost in full from my "extra" stuff.

And the funny thing is I haven't missed any of it. HA!

After the trip I really tightened down and got ride of a small credit card I had also.
Selling more "crap" aka "stuff" I really didn't need or use.

 

Good stuff there also,
My fiance and I only drink Starbucks if we have gift cards, lol...
And I only drink water at work, unless we have coffee made, lol...
Cut out sodas, which was very hard to do!

 

Most of us end up in debt sooner or later as we start our married and work lives. I think that we have a structural problem in our economy where both halves of a couple working full time at minimum wage cannot get ahead. One solution is to cut your living costs as low as they can go, find employment that pays better or declare bankruptcy and get rid of consumer debt.

Did you that the just the bonuses Wall Street paid it's folks in NYC would double the pay of EVERY full time minimum wage worker in America? We are being treated as wage slaves by the fat cat republicans...

Howard

 

Sounds like you're doing the right stuff. Stop buying shit, stop eating shit you don't need, stop drinking, and work your ass off. Really all there is to it. There are no bailouts in life. I worked two jobs while both wife and I were in school with no parents. Shit happens, now get to work.

 

Wish you the best of luck. Just never lose site of the light at the end of the tunnel. You'll get there. Slow and steady wins the race.

I as well have had some really good and some really bad months. For me, just when I thought things were going well and our family got started, my wife came down with a bad case of depression and was out of work for a year. Only our close family knew, but it was really difficult for that year. I was footing all the bills. To make things a little tougher, my brother in law stopped willing to watch my daughter while I was at work and I had to put her in daycare. This added $1,400 to my monthly bills and started limiting my time to get my work done so I could pick her up in time. Fast forward a year later and my wife was better, her old job took her back and moved her to an office closer to our home.

I made it through by keeping focused and just focusing on the small stuff, minimum needs, and loving my family.

Hang in there & keep us posted. I am looking forward to reading in a year or two that things are going great and you've pulled out of the situation.

 

Thanks for everyone taking the time to read through it, or skim at least as I know it's a large post. Reading the replies made me think of a few more things to add that I've been trying. You're absolutely correct about the soda at gas stations and beer. Those are huge money pits. I've stopped buying sodas and also find those little concentrated packs of lemonade or peach tea to put in water bottles. It tastes better, better for you as less sugar, and saves a few pennies here and there.

The beer I'm working on. By no means am I an alcoholic, but I could stand to stop. I don't need it or have to have it. I just enjoy the taste honestly and enjoy drinking a few while grilling. I'm trying to put a stop to that as well and make some serious life changes.

I did manage to sell some parts from my computer that I built last year. Since we moved, we no longer have internet as it isn't offered in the area. That's ok with me because honestly I don't need it. I can do most of my stuff at work between work and during lunch or on my cell phone. We have cut our cell phone plan down some as I connect my phone to wifi at work and while at my family's houses.

There are no bailouts in life unless you want to hit your credit hard for 10 years. To me that isn't an option. My mother, father, and father-in-law have done that and I've seen how they struggle with it.

I've applied to a handful of part time jobs in the area that would work with my current full time schedule, but haven't heard anything back. This area is a little challenging to find any sort of job really. I've pretty much told myself that if my boss is willing to let me work overtime as needed, I'll put in the extra time. Nothing comes easy these days that's for sure. I just keep putting my mind to it.

I've got some goals set. Some are short term but most are long term. I just gotta put my mind in it and stick with them and see how things play out.

 

Maybe now is a good time to start your own brewery. Hey, do what you love. Backwoods Brewery... I can see it. You've got the internet and you're clearly not stupid so you're half way there.

 

Interesting thing is, I've always wanted to try making some......and the owner of my company I work for also owns a brewery right down the road............

 

Great job getting started on getting rid of your debt. I am a big fan Dave Ramsey's financial planning guidelines. Usually a local church will have a copy of his "Financial peace university" cds. They have a great road map for getting out of debt and building financial stability for the long term. We never utilized his envelope system of paying cash for everything (one credit card but always paid off every month), but we have followed almost all of his other guidelines. We will have zero debt (including house) within the next two years.

 

So, it's staring you in the face.

 

Some things that will help you chip away at your debt without "feeling" it as much:

- If you're paying $800 a month for rent and move to a new place that is $700, don't view it as having an extra $100 spending money. Put that $100 each month towards your debt. You won't feel the difference in your day-to-day because you're used to spending $800 anyways, but now $100 of it is going towards your debt.

- Snowball it. Focus on paying off your smallest debts first, even if it means making minimum payments on your other debts. Credit Card 1 has $700, Credit Card 2 has $3000, Car Loan is $14000, and Student Loans are $25000. Pay them off in that order, and once CC1 is paid off, keep making that same payment but apply it to CC2. Once it's done, apply CC1 and CC2 payments towards the Car Loan. Then, in the end you will be applying the sum of your CC1, CC2, and car payment towards your student loans. As you can see, each step will get paid off easier than the previous, but you can't reward yourself and start putting the money in to your spending money until it's all said and done.

- Read up on Dave Ramsey, I know many people who attribute getting out of debt to his advice.

 

Good job on getting all of yours taken out. I'm sure it'll be a huge relief once you have your house paid off in a couple of years. We had some of our cards paid off for a while and it was nice and felt good. I'm looking forward to that day again. I'll have to check out Dave Ramsey and see what he has.

Yeah you're right, it is staring at me in the face. It's one of those dreams that may eventually happen one day. I have to free up some of this baggage before I can take on new projects or dreams. I have zero equipment or knowledge. I've never even brewed a single one. I go to the brewery every now and then as I have work there sometimes but not often. The guys there are awesome and would be willing to answer any questions and such.

These are good points and thoughts. I'm actually working on getting this small card paid off within the next couple of months. There's only about $140 on this one so once it's paid off I'll take that little bit of money and put it towards the next one in line. Eventually it'll start knocking them out. I'd love to free up one of these car payments and start dropping that on these cards, but I still have years to go on them. Gotta start somewhere I suppose.

 

AMEN

 

I am terrible with money and also am working on this. I've learned the hard way that debt keeps you in chains and prevents you from pursuing dreams, goals, etc. because you have to keep that paycheck coming. GL OP, this site definitely dosent help with saving money either.