Need advice on picking the proper set up

I am looking into purchasing a 19-21' travel trailer. My goal is to stick to 3-4000 lbs.

I'd like to use a weight distribution hitch with anti sway for safety. Most of the ones in stock are for 10-14k, which seems to be a lot of overkill. If that isn't an issue then I can pick one up most anywhere.

I'm lifted and have a custom spring pack on the rear. It is supposed to be 3" and 1300 lbs over stock each side. I have a little rake, so I'd say more around 3 1/2" lift. I also have a high clearance bumper. I've yet to see a hitch with a net drop of more than 3 1/2". I'm guessing I need somewhere around 8" for it to be level.

I'm also looking for a sleek trailer brake set up. IIRC my 2005 had a plug and pigtail that went behind the kicker panel. Would my 2012 be similar, can this be picked up at a dealer?

Thanks for any and all responses and input