Need help dealing with my neighbor....

ok, i need some advice here. my wife and I have lived in our house for 4 years and were friendly with the neighbors. Well, they moved away and a new family moved in. The husband is my age and was really nice and friendly to my wife and I for the first few months. Well, i didnt know but my neighbor was an electrician and he happened to show up where I work (distribution center) one day because he needed some parts. I was surprised to see him and he was surprised to see me. We spoke, shook hands, and I set him up an account since we are a wholesaler and sell to licensed dealers and electricians. i introduced him to my manager (nicest guy in the world) and told my manager that this guy was my neighbor and he was an electrician and i was setting him up so he can buy from us. So my boss smiles, pats me on the shoulder and says "hook a brotha up". I am white, my boss is white, and my neighbor is black. A few days later my neighbor and I spoke and he told me he was "offended" by that comment my manager made. He took it as a "racist" comment. I assured him my boss is not racist and is a decent man (which he is). So i thought the issue was over. But since this incident, my neighbor has spoken less and less to me. He quit waving at me when he passes by. I continued to say hello first and he would say hello back, but as if it was a chore for him to do it. He never offered a friendly hello first, i had to always do it first. Finally i just got tired of speaking first and when i am outside he completely ignores me. Am i missing something here? I am very genuine and try to do the right thing but this has me bothered. I am not racist. Am i just guilty by association? I told my boss and he thinks my neighbor is acting like a fool. i would appreciate some honest feedback guys.

 

bake him a cake and invite him over for a couple of beers

 

^Not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole.....

 

i dont get it man, me and him used to chat outside all the time about guy stuff, and ever since this incident...its like i dont exist. But he will walk down 7 houses to talk to another mutual neighbor...i dont get it

 

I agree - try to make things right and if he doesn't want to associate with you then move on

 

what should i do? just forget it and mind my own business?

 

Agreed...

If it does not work you did your best and just have to move on...

 

yeah this is what you want to do, break the ice.

 

i just hate being stuck in this situation. seems like everyone else around me likes us. i dont get it

 

Wow... bad case of taking something out of context. Your neighbor's perception of reality is he is the victim of racisim, regardless of what you or your boss think. Actions speak louder than words, I would kill him with kindness every opportunity you get. Always wave, always say hello. Sorry that's all I got.

 

Tell him what your manager meant (hook your neighbor up), or write this guy off as a butt hurt black man.

 

Seems to me he's got a chip on his shoulder. He took it as brothA rather than brothER (which, to me, is as if one is family). I use it as a term of endearment, words of brotherhood.

You and your boss did nothing wrong.

He is CHOOSING to be offended by something that was not to be offensive. That is in HIS mind, not presented with the thought of hurting him.

You've tried to explain it to him, you been friendly and accommodating. You are going out of your way to try to make amends. You've done your part and he's being stubborn. He wants it this way, so be it. When he comes into your place of business, treat him as any other customer. He does not want to be considered your brother, so in honour if his decision, don't give him the family benefits of your company. I mean... you wouldn't want to insult him, would you?

 

even after he quit saying hello to me, i kept saying hello first. i kept on and on, he never made an attempt to say it first. so i just quit saying hello. if i dont say anything, nothing happens, he makes no attempt.

 

lots of good advice from all of you

 

maybe he's just jealous of your tacoma

 

sounds like hes being a bit of a bitch.... yep... i said it. if he holds something someone else said against you and doesn't want to come back to terms... leave him in the dust. his loss.

 

after one conversation i had with him , i think i figured out he was like that. he was telling me about how he is "all business" when it comes to work. he was telling me about one of his customers owed him money (customer was white) and asked him to go play golf and his response was "i dont want to play golf, i want my damn money"

 

move on dude, give him some space. next time you have a bbq have him over for some beers and burgers.

 

and why would he ignore my wife too? he used to say hello to her all the time? what the hell did she do to him?

 

If you'd been black and said "what's up my *****," when he walked in the store, you'd be best friends. Who cares, move on. He's looking for something to be pissed about. Consider it a blessing that it happened early on.