Life improvement thread

It may be crusty, but you’re crustier. Proud of you, bean.

 

Best to you, sir. Keep strong!

 

10 thumbs up and I only have two............wait.......REALLY DARN GLAD TO READ THIS!!!

 

And you have given us a great Christmas gift by sharing your gains, growth and newly found light with us!

Life can turn on a dime, sometimes it just takes a few words of encouragement and guidance, keep on keeping on.

Merry Christmas friend, you have helped make the day for many people here.

 

I just want to bump this tread up in an effort to keep you on track. We're all here to help and a lot of people battle with this addiction on different levels.

Be blessed my friend.

 

Hope nursing school is going well.

You need the pop-up book of human anatomy, it makes understanding things a bit easier than the microsoft surface thing the schools are using these days.

Nothing ties like cat gut

 

@Oreo Cat

A burden shared is halved. A joy shared is doubled! Everyone is always going thru something. 80% of people will help you if they know what you are going thru. Let them. The other 20% are dinks so ignore them.

I would be remiss if I didn't add this too.

Mat 11:28. Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 

THIS. SO MUCH THIS

 

How's nursing school? You wearing the breakaway bra yet?

 

Still on the wagon Mac!?!?

 

On day 5 of sobriety. This time, in a row. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. I’ve been dealing with stress, anxiety and depression for a while. Have a super stressful job. Depression got pretty bad last fall. Started drinking pretty heavily. Im not a big guy. 5-9, 165#. I’ve been finishing off a fifth of vodka every couple of days for months now. At the height of this depression, my wife of 28 years gives me the whole, “Looking for a reason to stay” spiel. My initial thought was fuck it, I’ll eat a bullet. Begged her to take me to rehab right then and there. She said she didn’t think I needed it. I’ve had what they call Passive Suicide Ideation for years. This is a feeling of it wouldn’t matter if you died, but no real plan to carry it out. Took a month and a half to get into see a psychiatrist. I’ve been on antidepressants for about three months now. It’s made a difference, except when I drink. Mixing the two is bad news. Makes you feel even worse. Anyway, the last straw was last week. I went back to my hometown to visit family and friends for a few days. Bought a 5th while there to see my brother with. We drank about half of it that night. Wake up the next day to drive the 450 miles home. I was half hungover felt like shit. Left there at 6am. By 8:30 that morning I took my first drink. Three large swallows of vodka. Maybe and hour later, a few more swigs.
I drank half a fifth of vodka during that 6-1/2 hour drive home. Cruise control set at 80. My dumbass immediately goes to the liquor store when I get home and buy another 5th.
wake up the next day half sick, feeling like shit. There on the counter is a half drank 5th I’d bought the day before. So I consumed 17 shots of vodka on an empty stomach that day. I was so hungover that I drank the other half of the bottle to get rid of it (the hangover). A little hair of the dog, if you will. I chased all this with a half gallon of Gatorade because of severe dehydration. No more, I told myself. Im gonna binge drink myself to death, or worse, kill somebody else.
It’s the start of the fifth day of sobriety. I feel so much better already not being perpetually hung over. Just to throw this out there. I have never had a DUI. Haven’t had any tickets in over 20 years. But you roll the dice enough times, you’re gonna crap out. Please say a prayer for me if that’s your beliefs. Just thought I’d share. My mindset is in a lot better place already.

 

I grew up with a kid that would get so shit faced I’d look at him and think “I could never live like that” and by the grace of God, I never did.

 

A post like this deserves more than a few 'likes' from this community. The struggles are real. I've lost my kids mom to addiction and I've been in damage control for him ever since. Hang in there and focus on your goals, sounds like you are really trying to turn the corner for the better. There are other threads that are more active for the topic if looking for more active support, I'd check out this one over here:
https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads/sobriety-one-year-later-please-read.297089/

Stay strong.

 

Thanks brother. I’m trying. I’ve got a good friend that’s been in AA for about 5 years now. He stays on my ass about going to a meeting, but honestly, I don’t have time. I’ve been working an average of 80 hours a month overtime for the past 4 years. I’m pretty introverted unless alcohol is added. Just typing that post out, admitting my problems in public was a drawn out process. I did read the OP in that thread you linked. I’ll have to dig deeper. One day at a time…….

 

Just in case nobody else says it, You are worth it. The hardest step is always the next one, but keep walking because you're not walking alone. If I, as a stranger on the internet, can care, then there's so many more people around you that care.

 

Thanks.
Funny thing is, is that I have a pretty great life. My wife is amazing. Both my (now adult) children turned out great with no drug problems or pregnancies. My Daughter will graduate Texas Tech this year. I earn a six figure income with nothing more than a GED. Mental health issues are a bitch. To have this much going right for me, and me to be so depressed sounds crazy. This job is what’s doing it. (Work as a board operator in an oil refinery). Im 51 now. Too old to find another job. I keep telling myself 9 more years before retirement…….

 

Going to sound crazy, but have you thought about trying a dietary change? My internet research is showing lots of people who report balancing out on depression and anxiety by going to a strict keto or carnivore diet.

 

I did the keto diet with the wife about a year ago to get rid of my beer gut. That’s the same time I switched to vodka. (No carbs). That lasted about 4 months. She’s been on it ever since. I’ll do some research on the subject. Thanks for the heads up. And thanks for caring enough to reply. I’ll take all the help I can get right now. I need to get back to my bible studies. Laid that down a while back too.

 

The simplest version I've seen for it is the BBB & E Challenge. Beef, Butter, Bacon & Eggs and you can eat as much as you want, but that's all you eat. So if that doesn't sound good, you're not actually hungry. Just keep up the electrolytes for it.

On the Bible studies, it'll never hurt. I'll say a prayer for you as well.