New England B.S. Thread

Whhhhat is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

 

True that... good point Noel.

 

You have to excuse @Cativelense. If he were to try to go to divorce court, his FIL, who I believe is from the old country, would castrate him...

 

Ain't that the fucking truth right there.

 

Yeah, with a rusty knife.

 

C'mon now... no need to add to the punishment. It's bad enough already as it is.

 

Seems likely, though. My great grandfather was from Scotland and he still had a knife sitting on his shelf that he called his 'ball knife' from back when he raised sheep.

 

My grandfather used to do that to pigs, when I was a kid and lived in Portugal. He was the "go to guy" in our little town.

 

Depends on what kind of shot it's hit with.

Or a spoon

 

It's a classical reference. Sort of like this one:

Why a spoon, cousin?

 

Or "My spoon is too big!"

 

Time to start my 17 day weekend

 

Been a long time since I've seen those cartoons.

 

Let's liven up the party here... Here goes:

Texted my wife a while back and said "what is it gonna take to get into your pants later?"

Patiently awaiting a reply.

 

If she replies back "a shoehorn" or "an act of god" you'll know that you're out of luck...
If you're lucky she'll say "flowers and a back rub"

 

If he's lucky, she'll say 'just spit on it and stick it in'

 

Never happen.

If he had a gf, maybe she'd say that.

But then he'd have another kid on the way, and two women. Crowded.

 

Naw... no more kids. That has been taken care of.