OME BP51s_Suspension gurus please help

I need the help of people who know suspension a whole lot better than I do. I bought a 2016 Tacoma TRD Sport and had the dealer install the OMEBP51 kit which came with the Dakar leafs. The ride was a bit harsh, but I soon noticed that 3 of my 4 shocks were blown and leaking oil. ARB replaced the 3 shocks and I thought that would fix the ride. Not the case. I had the shop reduce the preload from 20mm (stock) to 10mm (based on input from ARB) as I do not have any extra weight on the truck. They come pre set for "heavy load". That seemed to help a tiny bit but didn't solve it. After reading further, I am thinking it is only due to me not having all the added weight of bumpers, winches, tent, etc. If I do have 400-500 pounds in the truck it does ride better. I know what you're going to say, go buy some stuff. I would but I like to be able to chuck a couple motorcycles in the back and not use a trailer.

Do any of you have experience with removing a spring from the Dakars (suggestion from ARB) or running Deavers (suggestion from a few who say it will make the ride a lot better).

The other bummer is dropping the preload to 10mm lowered the front of the truck.

I do not do any serious off-roading. Mostly on pavement and then dirt and gravel roads to get to trailheads.

Any help would be much appreciated and sorry for the long explanation