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Only someone from the Phoenix area would understand ....

Discussion in 'Arizona' started by chris4x4, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. Nov 14, 2011 at 12:40 PM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Staff Member

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    FlimFlubberJAM
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    ..... and the funny thing is that this is all true!

    1. 'Phoenix' actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Mesa, Gilbert, Glendale, Peoria, Tolleson, Avondale, Goodyear, Litchfield Park, Sun City, Sun City West, Sun City Grand, Sun Lakes, Surprise, Laveen, Apache Junction, Gold Canyon, and half of the Mexican border.

    2. The morning rush hour is from 4:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 9:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.


    3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.


    4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest mufflers go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in the East Valley , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.


    5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended.


    6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's an offense that can get you shot.


    7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.


    8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, rabbits, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.


    9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and The 'I-10' are the same road.
    SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY.
    Dunlap and Olive are the same street too.
    Northern and Shea are the same street.
    Also, Glendale Ave. becomes Lincoln Drive, Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street.
    I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway, as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway.
    The Superstition is also known as US 60.
    The 101, 202 and 303 remain a large mystery to most of us.
    It is not yet determined if there is a Red Mountain and a San Tan or just a Red/Tan Mountain.
    The SR51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway, because the original 'Squaw Peak Parkway' was too easy to pronounce.


    SR101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY.
    Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. Becomes Cactus Rd. -- but, Cactus Rd. Doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. Because it dead ends at a mountain.


    10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it has been 'accidentally activated.'


    11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.


    12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.


    13. Please note that there are many, MANY more issues to the phenomenon of driving in Phoenix-- (like the 4-cars-through-a-red-light rule).
     
  2. Nov 14, 2011 at 12:51 PM
    #2
    tacoman007

    tacoman007 ignorance is bliss,

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    Driving thru Phoenix sucks! and yeah if the person ahead of you ran the red light, every car behind it has the right to run it also.
     
  3. Nov 14, 2011 at 12:55 PM
    #3
    97yota4wd

    97yota4wd Well-Known Member

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    hahahaha so true
     
  4. Nov 14, 2011 at 12:58 PM
    #4
    doodooboi

    doodooboi Active Member

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    Hahahaha, Awesome. Been here for only 5 years and it's so true. Had to steup my driving coming from HI.
    Just another to add:
    Going the speed limit gets you in the cattle (R)side of the road. Which you'll be surounded by all of the above mentioned and would have to fend for your life.
     
  5. Nov 14, 2011 at 1:00 PM
    #5
    97yota4wd

    97yota4wd Well-Known Member

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    alot of metal, small engine, decent travel.
    caged, camburg long travel, 50t leafpack (soon to be installed) light rack over cab, 5pt harnesses etc
    Wait... theres a speed limit?
     
  6. Nov 14, 2011 at 1:04 PM
    #6
    jtlachac08

    jtlachac08 Well-Known Member

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    I remember getting this in an email last summer and died laughing EVERYTIME I read it. You can accomodate for at least 3 of these anytime you just as much get in your car lol.
     
  7. Nov 14, 2011 at 2:58 PM
    #7
    xSectionxEightx

    xSectionxEightx Well-Known Member

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    Genius!!I intend to use potholders whilst driving next summer. (If you laugh at the guy driving with potholders on, you will be shot.)
     
  8. Nov 14, 2011 at 5:57 PM
    #8
    extremachn1

    extremachn1 I am an asshole, deal with it!

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    I hate to tell you that driving in Phoenix is not the worst, by a long shot. The red light runners are bad but try driving in Louisiana, Hawaii, and most of the east coast. Then start throwing in some international locations and driving in Phoenix is cake!!! LoL
     
  9. Nov 14, 2011 at 6:04 PM
    #9
    Aw9d

    Aw9d That one guy

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    That's so funny and so true!
     
  10. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:28 PM
    #10
    Kyouto42

    Kyouto42 Iron Beard

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    Oregon is worse.

    Also apparently very large obnoxiousness text makes this better?

    As for #11, "slower traffic yield right or get run off the damn road and burn in a fire" is an appropriate response. Seriously though, if it wasn't for Johhny Law I'd have rammed several people off the road by now.
     
  11. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:34 PM
    #11
    extremachn1

    extremachn1 I am an asshole, deal with it!

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    TRD S/C, TRD quick shifter, AFE CAI, Magnaflow cat back exhaust, Fox racing shocks, TC UCA, All-pro expo leafs, Bestop soft top, Wet Okole black seat covers, Scan gauge II.
    The PNW has its own interesting set of driver issues but none as bad as the southwests complete and utter failure in driving in the rain. I seriously cant believe people here. A wet roadway and people are panicking like its a 40 year flood.


    You want bad drivers... Come drive with me next time I have to go to India or Pakistan. Worst in the world, bar none and I have driven in a LOT of places.
     
  12. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:37 PM
    #12
    jjew18

    jjew18 the Nightman cometh!

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    Added extra awesomeness to its original awesomeness.
    I don't understand.... But I have seen the same thing with Dallas/Fort Worth substituted.
     
  13. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:40 PM
    #13
    extremachn1

    extremachn1 I am an asshole, deal with it!

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    TRD S/C, TRD quick shifter, AFE CAI, Magnaflow cat back exhaust, Fox racing shocks, TC UCA, All-pro expo leafs, Bestop soft top, Wet Okole black seat covers, Scan gauge II.
    The crazy multi-level cloverleaf over-under ball of yarn freeway interchanges in the DFW trip me out. I think I got buzzed by a jet liner the last time I took one of those interchages in the DFW area. LoL
     
  14. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:40 PM
    #14
    staticsquelch

    staticsquelch Big things have small beginnings

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    Full OME w/ Dakar's, 17" Black Rock Series 937 Wheels, BFG KM2's 285/70/17, and other stuff....
    Iraq and Paris are the worst places I've driven. At least in Iraq I could move them with the hummer though.
     
  15. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:43 PM
    #15
    jjew18

    jjew18 the Nightman cometh!

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    Added extra awesomeness to its original awesomeness.
    Everyday for me. Love your description.
     
  16. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:44 PM
    #16
    extremachn1

    extremachn1 I am an asshole, deal with it!

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    TRD S/C, TRD quick shifter, AFE CAI, Magnaflow cat back exhaust, Fox racing shocks, TC UCA, All-pro expo leafs, Bestop soft top, Wet Okole black seat covers, Scan gauge II.
    Yea, I wish I could do that here sometimes. In Bahrain, Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia it was the law of either the larger vehicle or the law of who ever was more willing to use their vehicle as a pry bar. I was in a rental with full coverage... I WIN.
     
  17. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:45 PM
    #17
    extremachn1

    extremachn1 I am an asshole, deal with it!

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    TRD S/C, TRD quick shifter, AFE CAI, Magnaflow cat back exhaust, Fox racing shocks, TC UCA, All-pro expo leafs, Bestop soft top, Wet Okole black seat covers, Scan gauge II.
    I head out to McKinney every now and then for some work so I get to drive from DFW to McKinney and deal with all that mess.
     
  18. Nov 14, 2011 at 8:52 PM
    #18
    907taco

    907taco Alaskan Assassin

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    ultimate lift kit ( toytec ) ome dakar leaf pack , w/ extended length billies, LR uca's, Pro comp 7089s, KM2's 285 70 17, neoprene seat covers, weather techs, CBI sliders w/kickout, URD ss, cab mount chop, VHT night shade tint>tails,3rd B-light. Debadged. Grillecraft grille, rear diff breather mod. CBI Moab front bumper, warn M8000 winch, HID kragens 7", Hella's micro fogs. retrofit headlights HIDS, LED solutions maps/license! 886 back up light mod,
    i lived in avondale in the early 90's, my mother in law lives in anthem and i spend some time down there at least twice a year. definetly more aggressive driving than alaska. I remember I 17 being just a 2 laner, also the metrocenter mall was the shit back in the day and now its turned ghetto. cant beat the weather> anytime of the year. always a good break from the cold ass winters here.
     
  19. Nov 15, 2011 at 11:58 AM
    #19
    Seabass

    Seabass I need to go return some videotapes...

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    <insert thief bait here>
    Quit yelling!
     
  20. Nov 15, 2011 at 2:32 PM
    #20
    Trapper6speed

    Trapper6speed Hacksaw engineer

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    I miss home. I hate it here in Houston area. But I'm here for a few more years.
     
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