PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

@ColoradoTJ
@El Duderino
@shakerhood

I haven’t that these cookies in years, but they’re still one of my favorites...



They were in a different package back then...

Anyway, I am not proud of what went down in the story I’m about to tell you, but it’s good example of what would of you got in my personal base or came between me and my hood when I was younger.

We were living in Fairfax County, Virginia and I was in tenth grade so I would have been about 15...

 

@ColoradoTJ
@El Duderino
@shakerhood

I was in the cafeteria eating the Snackwell’s cookies and this girl I knew named April just walked right up to the table, grabbed one of my cookies, and walked away; Keep in mind that this was not my girlfriend or even a particularly close friend.

I was enraged, ran around the table, and actually tackled April, but she’d already eaten it; Amazingly, no teachers saw me, and students either didn’t see me or didn’t care. I went back to my seat angry and ate my remaining cookies; April learned a lesson about taking my stuff and didn’t pull that shit again...

 

And let’s not forget the hot-tempered Korean girls from that school who were a year older than me; Marry had moved here with her family from South Korea and was actually fairly attractive. Jane was born to Korean immigrant parents in America, and was overweight and rather unattractive in my opinion...

Jane was also very vulgar, even by the standards of a high school kid; I believe I was in 9th grade when this happened, and it was right before Christmas break if I remember correctly...

 

I forget what started this little “food fight”, but Jane squirted water or moisture of some sort on me from an unknown food item; I retaliated buy either throwing a chocolate milk juicebox think at her or squeezing it...

Regardless of my method, the end result was chocolate milk being squirted down the front of Jane’s shirt. I can understand why she was pissed, but what she didn’t was uncalled for...

Before I even had a chance to apologize, she grabbed the hard ice pack out of my lunchbox and hurled it at me, hitting me right in the head; It hurt like hell and immediate response was “What the fuck?!?!”

A teacher/cafeteria monitor overhead this and came to investigate; I told her what happened and without even a second though she sent Jane to the principal’s office (and me to the nurse’s office). I got in absolutely no trouble whatsoever, but Jane got suspended for a few days; While I had a hell of a bump on my head, it wasn’t serious and I finished out the rest of the school day...

My mom was even angrier than I was when she found out what happened!

 

April was not intellectually disabled as far as I know, but she did seem to have emotional problems and she had a heart problem from birth that was severe enough for her to already have a pacemaker fitted before she was old enough to drive! She was also fairly attractive, but her personality traits made me stay far away from her!

 

There was this Moroccan girl who was also quite attractive, and she was friends with a couple of my friends, though we rarely interacted...

She was in my history class in 10th grade, and I forget what this started over, but apparently I was late to class a couple of times...? My history teacher in tenth grade was a attractive blonde woman in her 30s named Ms. Jerauld, and she was by far one of my favorite teachers!

 

Anyway, I was in the same history class as this Moroccan girl, and she was a busy-body to say the least!

I guess I was late to class a couple of times; Ms. Jerauld was stern but kind and we’d already had a discussion about this. That same day, in the cafeteria, I had just started eating lunch when the girl from my class marched up to my table and lectured me about being late to class...

**It just occurred to me that this girl was actually not in our class (at least not regularly), and the fact that she somehow knew about business that wasn’t hers only succeeded in making me angrier; Now that I think about it, I believe she was in Ms. Jerauld’s class prior to mine**

Anyway, I’ve never taken kindly to my lunch being interrupted, people getting into my business, or people lecturing about business that isn’t theirs...

This girl marched up to table and just started screaming at me about being late; I got up from my seat, pointed at her, and told her to ”mind her own damn business”. This shouting match continued for a minute or so until a teacher came and ushered the girl away...

A day or two later, this girl happened to be talking to Ms. Jerauld when I showed up for class; I angrily referred to her as a “Harriet the Spy” (like the book/movie), and Ms. Jerauld did not take to kindly to that...

It was never explained to me why this girl was constantly getting into the business of other people, but she stopped bothering me after that!

 

At college during the fall 2012 semester, I took a rather pointless class called “Integration of Knowledge” that was partially online; This class was required for all students regardless of their major, probably because it was so reviled among the majority of students that pretty much none of them would have spent hundreds of dollars to take it otherwise! There had to be three different variations of this class, and the one I ended up taking was called “Self, Identity, and the Human Experience” or something...

 

Students formed into groups of like four or so, and worked on a project that took pretty much the entire semester; The choices were drug abuse/addiction and gay rights/LGBT issues if I remember correctly. This one guy in our group was a recovering pill addict or something, and he talked the whole group into doing the drug addiction one due to his “experience”. Unlike the rest of us, the former addict was living totally on his own in a rented apartment, had accidentally knocked up a girl he ended up hating (and had partial custody of the kid), and had a full-time job.

The rest of us were incredibly pissed when this guy abruptly dropped the class due to a failing a grade, leaving us stuck with the “drug addiction” project when all of would have preferred to do the one about gay rights. I ended up getting a B or C in that class and was so beyond glad to be done with it!

My friend Jeff took a different Integration of Knowledge class with a much more engaging subject; I’m guessing enough people complained about the boringness and shear absurdity of the class, because by the time I graduated it was no longer required for all majors!

 

Why did I hate it? Primarily because it was boring, and all three of the professors were assholes; I was also not used to “hybrid learning” and missed at least one of the online class days...

 

The part I really wanted to talk about was this girl named Anthony who was in our group for that project...

Yes, her name was Anthony! There was some sort of deep-rooted family tradition of naming at least one kid Anthony whether it was a boy or a girl; She went by the name “Ann Marie”, but her driver’s license said “Anthony”. She may have had a boy’s name, but she was HOT! She was of at least partial Italian descent, and had darker skin and a perfectly proportioned body. I really wanted to ask her out (This was in late 2012 and I believe she was 21, so she was only two years younger than me), but while she was ultimately friendly, she seemed rather indifferent and obviously wasn’t interested in me...

 

I actually found Anthony on Facebook, but we don’t have any mutual friends, so it would look creepy if I sent her a friend request out of the blue...

 

@PennSilverTaco For some reason the story of that girl April stealing your cake reminded me of something that happened to me.
This girl sitting beside me in 7th or 8th grade typing class just out of the blue unprovoked grabs my arm, digs her nails in and scratches the fuck out of me to the point blood is dripping off me and looked like a bear scratched me!
She would have been something like a Goth chick, black makeup, long black nails, black clothes and boots. Occasionally my friends might send a picture of how she looks today, she is quite gorgeous but l can't get past the image of her attacking me way back then.
I mentioned to you that l worked with a guy that had a Dodge minivan with MT, he was her brother.

 

When I was five or so, my cousin was pulling me in the red wagon in the driveway of her parents’ house; The house was barely a year old at the time, and I’d like to say this was before the builder laid down the second coat of asphalt on the driveway because the I remember the driveway being much tougher than it normally would have been.

My cousin (also four or five; she’s three months younger than me and if I was five this would have been sometime in the spring of 1994, before her bir RRR day), for no reason whatsoever, lifted the front of the wagon up by the pull handle so it was doing a wheelie of sorts and dumped me out; I think she thought she was legitimately being funny and had absolutely no intention of hurting me.

Luckily my dad and uncle (her dad; the guy now living in Myrtle Beach who did my wheel skins) saw this happen; They had been in the garage chatting and gave my cousin a stern lecture about why she couldn’t do this. I don’t remember crying or being in any pain, and I initially thought I’d made it through the ejection from the wagon unscathed; In the house a short time later, my aunt noticed “something” on my arm. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror; My elbow was more scraped up than I’d ever seen it before and bleeding like crazy; It did not hurt. Needless to say, my dad cleaned me up and put a bandaid or two on it; No stitches required!

 

Back in February 2014 when I had my wisdom teeth removed, I had to get stitches inside my mouth as a matter of course, but I have never sustained an cut severe enough to require stitches in my nearly 32 years on this planet...

 

I lied, sort of; There was this one time back in 2016 or 2017 when I got a cut that likely required stitches but I never ended up getting them...

Why not? Well, it was just another ordinary day at Puck; I was in the prep kitchen cutting limes in half so I could juice them for the bartenders to make various drinks. I cut one of my fingers (thumb or pointer, I believe); I bandaged it up and carried on with my day. When my mom took a look at it that night, she said I should go to the doctor and have it look at; I begrudgingly called the doctor the next day and made the mistake of mentioning that it happened at work; The receptionist said they couldn’t do this through my normal health insurance and I would have to go through workman’s comp...



My idea of a “workplace injury” is something so debilitating that it actually prevents you from working, like when my aunt slipped and fell on a puddle of water in the cafeteria in the late 1990s and it fucked up her back for life. Cutting your finger as a result of your own inattentiveness is not a workplace injury and should be handled as though the injury occurred at home!

I didn’t want to deal with it, so I just let my finger heal; It healed so well that I don’t even remember which finger it was or even which hand it was on!

Moral of the story? If you cut yourself with a knife by accident and think you need stitches, it happened at home no matter what, regardless of where it actually occurred; My parents agreed!

 

Lucky. I have had a few. The last big deep cut I did I gave myself stitches

 

Also, when I was detailing cars, I saw coworkers get very minor injuries and have to file workman’s comp; One guy cut his hand on the metal thing inside a sunroof of a Lincoln and had to get stitches. I had the same thing happen on the same make and model (but obviously a different vehicle); Anybody notice a pattern? Looking at you, Ford Motor Company!

Anyway, this was totally not the guy’s fault, but he had to take a drug test as a matter of course and couldn’t drive cars on the job for like a week while waiting for the results to come in. Another guy fell off a step ladder and twisted his ankle while detailing a high-roof Ford Transit van; Again, he had to take a drug test. My opinion is that these guys were guilty until proven innocent in the eyes of HR; When I whacked the side of a Subaru on a pole, I had to take a drug test, but that was only so I could prove I was sober and wouldn’t have to pay for the damages to the car.

To be fair, I witnessed fraud firsthand while working there; This guy who probably wasn’t even there a month had an accident with this stuff called “breaker” that we used to get brake dust off of alloy wheels. He spilled in on his leg and burned himself or something. I’d burned myself with that stuff before; I just washed it off in the bathroom and it stung a little bit but I was otherwise fine...

The end result was redness on my skin in the area where I’d spilled it; NO MUSS, NO FUSS!

One of my supervisors said that in his early days as a detailer he’d managed managed to get breaker in his eyes. Several minutes at the eyewash station and he was fine; His eyes hurt for a day, but he was able to drive himself home.

This guy, who one of my fellow detailers had nicknamed “Meth-head McGee” based on his backwoods appearance, was gone for over a week; I thought he was kind of a wuss to be honest. “McGee” came in one day while I was working to file workman’s comp paperwork, and his ankle was bandaged as though he’d been mauled by a dog!

A few days later, HR realized that he’d changed the doctor’s note to say he needed ten days off when the doctor originally said he could return to work immediately; FIRED!

 

Outside of surgeries l have needed stitches a few times, a Doberman mauled me when l was around 10 or 12 years old, still have scars on my face today. Also got my fingers chopped up pretty bad in a gas powered remote control airplane too.

 

Sprained ankle in 2002...

Fractured elbow in 2008...

Quasi-dislocated knee also in 2008, probably a month and a half after the orthopedist said I didn’t have to wear a sling for the elbow injury anymore.; I really should have been on crutches, but my doctor said my knee was detrimentally injured and we were leaving for a vacation in Maine in less than two days that I was really anxious to go on. The pain was reduced to an incredible soreness within two or three days...

Jacked up my wrist in 2016 or 2017, not severely enough to require a doctor visit, but enough that I picked up an Ace wrist brace thing at the drugstore and ended up wearing it at work for a few days...

Jeremy, you are a madman...

And that’s what I like about you!l