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Please help me settle an argument.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by AC13JohnG, May 4, 2011.

?

What would you do?

Poll closed Jun 3, 2011.
  1. Don't fix it.

    102 vote(s)
    61.4%
  2. Fix it.

    53 vote(s)
    31.9%
  3. Other(Specify)

    11 vote(s)
    6.6%
  1. May 4, 2011 at 8:01 AM
    #1
    AC13JohnG

    AC13JohnG [OP] Señor Member

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    My wife and I very rarely fight or argue but we really got into it yesterday after work. To make this as short as possible here we go. I have worked on cars forever, used to be a tech and I usually fix most friends and familys vehicles. Her sister has yet to directly ask me to look at her car, but keeps commenting "the check engine light is on and she has no money to take it in" every time she sees me. I refuse to offer and am waiting for her to ask me to look at it. I honestly don't want to even look at it for the following reasons:
    -she is almost 30
    -still living at home rent free
    -has a new iphone, new computer, new ps3, new wii, and a huge collection of coach shit
    -has plenty of money to take several trips a year (Cruise, Las Vegas, Ski trip just in the last 12 months)
    -she has paid nothing for her college education because she works at the school
    -has a better paying job than I do that she constantly comments how awesome it is that she gets paid to do nothing but screw around.
    My wife thinks I should fix it because I fix everyone else's vehicles. My rebuttle is that everyone else is a responsible adult with real life expenses. I fucking hate arguing over something this stupid but she is actually really pissed at me. Your comments and opinions?
     
  2. May 4, 2011 at 8:05 AM
    #2
    hookedontronics

    hookedontronics Well-Known Member

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    i would usually say she's family, help her out. But she sounds like an ungrateful leach on her family already. Who is honestly 30 and lives at home? that's pathetic
     
  3. May 4, 2011 at 8:11 AM
    #3
    woodygg

    woodygg Well-Known Member

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    this is definitely one of those life lesson issues... two come to mind.

    1. A wise general chooses his battles. This is not a battle you should, nor would be wise to pick.
    2. Do you want to be right, or divorced?

    fix it.

    Relatives will be a PIA throughout your life - you have to bend a bit more sometimes to keep the peace. You're not her parent, even though I know you want to teach her this lesson (I would - I have to deal with very similar things from my wifes siblings - drives me nuts sometimes).

    HOWEVER... you could always tell her sister first, 'If you want me to look at it, please just ask and don't beat around the bush. If not, please stop complaining about it all the time"

    That way, you call her b.s. on this game she seems to be playing, and there will be peace.

    Good luck
     
  4. May 4, 2011 at 8:12 AM
    #4
    pittim

    pittim Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

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    You could always pull the code, tell her you wont have any time to fix it for a while bla bla bla, and make up some bs about its important to get it done soon.
     
  5. May 4, 2011 at 8:12 AM
    #5
    dexterdog

    dexterdog My pee parts itch

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    Do it for your wife, not her sister. Unfortunately, you won't win this one.
     
  6. May 4, 2011 at 8:15 AM
    #6
    Asian13

    Asian13 Well-Known Member

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    I agree w/Jake, typically family means you should help her out. But first of all if she needs help, she should be the one to ask you. You shouldn't necessarily offer. She definitely doesn't sound like she is the most financially responsible 30 year old you know. It must be nice to not have to pay anything for her college education, but good for her for picking a career that pays for it. Commenting how awesome her job is constantly for doing nothing would be highly annoying. Bottom line is, don't even entertain the idea of helping her until she asks... And just because you're family doesn't automatically mean it costs her $0.
     
  7. May 4, 2011 at 8:16 AM
    #7
    brettb

    brettb Well-Known Member

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    If she wants it fixed she should come ask you. But then again woman are always right in the relationship.
     
  8. May 4, 2011 at 8:18 AM
    #8
    07trd4x4

    07trd4x4 Well-Known Member

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    Look at it and tell her it is some to BIG for you to handle and tell her to bring it in. :)

    I feel you on this one. I am the car nut in my family so when ever something goes wrong I get blamed!!
     
  9. May 4, 2011 at 8:21 AM
    #9
    hedman

    hedman the ghost

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    Just do what I do when i know a person will be bringing a project to me that i don't want to do. "Got REALLY busy was unable to squeeze you in sorry, but if you leave it hear i may be able to do it next month". :D
    They take it else where
     
  10. May 4, 2011 at 8:22 AM
    #10
    Chuckulls

    Chuckulls New Member

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    Dude Suck it up and fix it. You are 100% right about your sister in law. However tell your wife you are going to do it and don't do it begrudgingly. Do it make peace with the wife and enjoy your life with her. Your sister in law is going to affect your life negatively by not doing it.
    Mike
     
  11. May 4, 2011 at 8:23 AM
    #11
    TerryS

    TerryS Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't offer either. All your wife has to do is say to her sister "why don't you ask John to look at your car?" and the debate would be over.
     
  12. May 4, 2011 at 8:23 AM
    #12
    Jdaniel1274

    Jdaniel1274 Well-Known Member

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    I voted don't fix it, but you have to consider your relationship with your wife. Do you really want to put up with her over something like this, fix it to keep the peace. Or at least just check the code on the check engine light and refer her to a local mechanic or a dealership. Pick your battles with your wife.
     
  13. May 4, 2011 at 8:23 AM
    #13
    hookedontronics

    hookedontronics Well-Known Member

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    Listening to a few of these guys i think they've got the right idea after all. Take a look at it, and just tell her you don't have the time or the right tool or the parts or whatever. Tell her it's important it gets fixed right away and she needs to bring it in. This will please your wife and also take care of the problem. I think this would be the best way to go. She'll find the money for it if she thinks it's important
     
  14. May 4, 2011 at 8:24 AM
    #14
    tig1

    tig1 Well-Known Member

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    HEY! Is she hot!

    later tig1:D
     
  15. May 4, 2011 at 8:25 AM
    #15
    Ridgerunner

    Ridgerunner Well-Known Member

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    I hope you understand what I say here-I am surprised that your wife doesn't see the wrong her sister is doing, and I would think she wouldn't want you to involve yourself with the sister. The sister could possibly burn you if anything should go wrong with that car after you put your hands in it-she sounds like that type. Your wife is supposed to side with you here IMO
     
  16. May 4, 2011 at 8:29 AM
    #16
    Who Dat Popcorn

    Who Dat Popcorn Dafuq

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    It's not worth arguing over. I'm not married, but I am smart enough to know that you should never argue with a woman. They will make you feel like complete shit, and it will get to you eventually.

    Just do it and get it over with, maybe it ends up being a 5 minute job!
     
  17. May 4, 2011 at 8:40 AM
    #17
    Pugga

    Pugga Pasti-Dip Free Since 1983

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    I agree with your side of the argument but I don't know your wife or what she's like so you need to weigh that in. Even though I agree with your point and hate people like your sister in law, you may have to end up fixing it. But, I think she should at least have the common decency to ask you for help, not just drop hints and expect you to jump in just because she's being inconvenienced. In principle, I say don't fix it, realistically I think you're going to end up fixing it one way or another, just a matter of how much fighting is involved or if she actually asks for help.

    Good luck to ya!

    Oh, and your poll should have more choices like Fix it (Married), Fix it (Unmarried), etc. I have a feeling those who are married will view this differently.
     
  18. May 4, 2011 at 8:43 AM
    #18
    ink junky

    ink junky I phucking hate people >:(

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    That's never gonna happen to me! :cool:





    I hope...
     
  19. May 4, 2011 at 8:45 AM
    #19
    BrokenTusk

    BrokenTusk I support a velociraptor free workplace.

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    I'm a head strong hard ass when it comes to shit like this. Don't fix it, explain to your wife in small words speaking slowly why you even attempting to fix it is a ludicrous request.

    BUT, take a short 3 minutes look, if its a stupid simple fix, consider doing it for beer or some other favour if shes such a twat on the whole concept of money. If its something even remotely time consuming, give your mechanical educated opinion on what she should do with it, and send her on her way.
     
  20. May 4, 2011 at 8:46 AM
    #20
    03coma

    03coma Well-Known Member

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    John I feel you pain, I have 4 sister-in-laws and they all did the same crap your talking about to me. I told my wife tell them if they need a favor done come to me and ask, It took some time but now if they need a favor they call me direct. No more games.

    Tell your wife you don't mind looking at it when you have time, but her sister will have to ask you first.
     
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