she died today, and i'm not bothered....

let me share a story. i have never had anything handed to me in my life. i have always worked. paid for everything myself. my parents came here to the US 30+ years ago and were culture shocked. i mastered English and eventually graduated cum laude from a private college. while i was in high school, there was this counselor. she was a sweet ladybut it seemed like she only gave her time and attention to the popular kids. you know, the football players, star athletes, cheerleaders, prom queens, home coming queens, and kids with nice cars, it was like she was trying to relive her youth through them. she never married, never had children, and she died today of terminal cancer. everyone is all sad, everyone (former popular kids of course) are all crying because of her untimely death. it is sad, but for some reason i dont care. maybe its because i was one of those kids who needed help and guidance, and she just blew us off. i later found out my wife went through the same ordeal years later (she was once overweight) yeah i was a nerdy kid with the john denver haircut, but i still needed help and guidance, and she never bothered. so is it wrong of me to sit here and not give a sh*t about her death, while everyone is crying. i guess some things from your childhood you never forget. i managed to fend for myself, go to college, and do it all, and have a successful career, and nobody helped me. in a way, i feel bad, but a part of me just doesnt give a sh*t. Am i wrong??? just looking for honest and sincere answers. by the way, after high school, i blossomed, became a good looking man, and married a beautiful woman, and life is good, but i will never forget the treatment i received in school 20 years ago. thanks guys, i really do appreciate your thoughts on this.

 

To be honest... im with ya. F___ those people. I have a few people who are like that and also wont be bothered when they go. But for the people who took time and patients to stand,sit or whatever they did to get me in the right direction, thank you.

Awesome you would get that off your chest!

 

I can understand your thoughts and emotions. Just make sure you do not make the same mistakes as this person did, judging a book by it cover.

 

You must care about her because you took the time to write this.
Maybe by observing her shortcomings, she made you a better man ?

Best.

 

High school is temporary. I probably wouldn't give a shit if half the people I knew in high school died.

Life happens. Death is part of life. Cherish yours and the lives of the people you love and don't sweat the others. And who gives a crap what other people think?

If you have to interact with the people who did care about her, be considerate of their feelings, but nobody is going to blame you for not holding strong feelings about someone you knew 20 years ago and probably haven't had much contact with since.

Also, maybe try and let the resentment of high school go. Sure, it was a shitty time, but you seem to have made the better of yourself so put it behind you. Holding onto it will just make you cynical and cranky. It takes more energy to be unhappy you know.

Good luck!

 

I'd feel the same way.

She has enough mourners. I wouldn't concern yourself with it. She didn't help you, I don't see a need for you to lament her death.

 

You're perfectly normal. You're ok, she's ok, just dead.

If you can let it come and go without getting overemotional, you're probably just becoming more enlightened.

I don't need to have an emotional fit over everything just because I've been conditioned to do it from tv.

This is life, which includes death. You're aware of all this and talking about it. It doesnt get much healthier than that.

 

i actually had a teacher in hs that was very similar. he taught health and you had to pass health in order to graduate -and he damn well knew it. he was actually friendly with the school bullies, and most of the football team as well (not that they were all bullies, but alot of the cool/tough/popular crowd). my senior year, i had grades that ranked me in the top 4% of my graduating class of 750 kids, so i wasn't exactly "dumb" and passing health wasn't supposed to be an issue for me. i played soccer and lacrosse, but this guy didn't respect those sports. he basically did everything he could think of to try and screw me out of passing health. finally had a meeting with the school principal, some of my other teachers and my parents, and once he had eyes looking over his shoulder, he chilled the F out and i "passed" health.

if i ever read about that guy dropping dead, i'm sure there are alot of people who would feel bad, cry and make a fuss, but i sure as hell wouldn't be one of them. i can understand your feelings 110% and i wouldn't feel bad at all if i were you.

 

"I have moved. New address: cemetery. I'm looking forward to visitors."

 

As a high school student right now, I know those types, who are so cool and then tragedy strikes and all these people rush to help...but if I die tomorrow, they'll be indifferent. Well, I'll just assume that goes both ways at this point. Maintaining standards of measure is an easy way to establish a precedent of sanity in life. It also gives you an excuse to seriously put someone in their place, should they ever violate said standards.

 

If I'm understanding what you wrote, you almost nailed my exact thought while reading his post. If I read care as a positive feeling then not exactly but, he clearly is still thinking of the situations.

We've all had our issues throughout our lives with certain people but, still being upset about something that happened 20 years ago (and he's doing well) tells me the situation was either really bad or something else is or was going on.

It's interesting and sure provokes thoughts about my own feelings towards the people who have had both positive and negative impact on my life.

 

You're ranting about how you perceived a high school counselor may have gave you less than stellar attention? This pretty much sums up all high school counselors.

As far as their passing is concerned I would doubt you probably knew her very well outside of her profession so the lack of any emotional feeling is understandable but I wouldn't waste my time justifying your emotions. She has passed on and is without pain. Be happy about that.

 

looks like the best thing for you was not get any guidance from her, and from what you say about her, looks like she was the one in need of some guidance.

I look at the bad and good things of my life as a contribution of what I am today, and I'm happy with what I am, therefore I don't feel any remorse towards the "bad" things.

It sounds like you were not close to her, so I don't think its bad not feeling bad about her death, but if you felt happy to hear that........ then that's something entirely different.

 

Not wrong at all. Had you hoped for her to die I would have a different opinion. That said, I had similar experiences and feel that those in a position of influence (especially over children) should never play favorites. They are only human but should know better!

 

cool thread, cool posts. understand EXACTLY how you feel. i was one of a few utter and complete loners (read:losers) in high school. (well, still a loner, but married---weird huh?) as you, am now very successful and happily married. kudos to you. don't fret, or feel guilt over your lack of remorse for her. only be concerned with the feelings of those close to you---your "beautiful" wife. props for the courage to post something that doesn't include guns, politics or even the latest mod on our wonderful tacoma's. you sir, are indeed, "MR. TITAN".....

 

20 years ago and you post this? seems like it is bothering you man, or something is

 

i was very emotional when i read all your posts. thank you guys so much. your words are kind and inspiration and i think i have put this whole situation behind me. i love you guys, mean it !

 

Life has a way to guide and direct you regardless.

Its the cards you're dealt that you have to figure out on your own. Every hand has a potential to win. Glad you've made the best of yours when others are given better cards to work with.


IMHO, its a realization from a chapter in your life that carried a lot of weight. It was where you had to anchor yourself in finding out the man you were going to become.

She has her own fan base that she worked for. You have yours.


Life isn't always fair. ​

In the shadow and mist of things. She did help you out. . . . think about it more.

 

Dude same story here, parents came to this country 40 something years ago on the "Bracero Program" offered by the U.S.. Then they became migrant workers. Later started a family. They worked their butts off to make sure we went to school and got a good education. They also made sure we worked every summer (field work: lettuce, watermelon, mellon, cabbage, pecans, brocali, grapes,,, and other stuff i cant remember offered in the Yuma valley). My guidance counselor, Mr Sullivan, didn't give a shit about me eventhough i had honor classes. I decided to apply to ASU,UofA, and NAU. The semester before graduation when we had to meet again he said to me, and i will never forget his words, "COLLEGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!!! MAYBE YOU SHOULD BECOME A MECHANIC OR SOMETHING NOT TOO DIFFICULT". At that precise moment i showed him all 3 acceptance letters. He always focused on the popular kids. 7 of us ended up going to ASU and only 2 of us graduating. I have 3 bachelors, a masters, and linguistics certification by the Department of Defense. I have a great life now, help out my community and parents. All i can say is FUCK YOU MR SULLIVAN!!! Whether dead or alive I want you to know you didnt ruin this kids life.

 

its time to unload bro..been carryin it for too long.
Be a victor and not a victim.