Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

Yeah... When I first came on the job it was bad. And I mean bad. I got grazed by a bullet to the neck on one rescue during that time. After about three years or so the gang violence died down quite a bit and it wasn't as bad. Then it was just regular runs. But it's still a shit city and I avoid going into the city at all costs now. Part of it is... even though it's a city of over 500k population, there isn't many places that I can go that isn't attached to a shitty run that brings back bad memories. We moved about 25 miles outside of the city when my daughter was born to a nice town with the best school district in the state. No way I was bringing her up in that area. All cities of any size have issues but when you're still #4 on the list of the worst cities to live in per capita... that should tell you something. Before I retired I roughly figured up that I had been on a little over 34,000 runs during my career. I was never on a slow company during my entire career.

 

Any advice for a 23 year old guy, just graduated college with degrees in accounting and finance and just passed the CPA, working with a great job but wants something more out of life and is considering FD? I feel like it would be stupid to throw away everything I've got now for something completely different but to be honest I feel like this job is soul crushing and I would be more fulfilled in life with something like working in Fire Service. Very athletic and in good shape- I lift 6 times a week and run for miles on weekends.

 

Depends really. I got my degree in Business Administration and then ended up with degrees in Chemistry and Radiological / Nuclear because I was part of the Haz Mat team my entire career. It's a very good job if you can handle the stress. And depending on where you work there will be a lot of stress. You also have to take in family considerations. If you do take the job and you have kids you will miss a third of their life growing up. So you will be gone for 24hrs every third day (at least most places in the country). The retirement is amazing. I got to retire when I was 47 and because of my final average pay that I paid into our pension I actually make more money off the job than I did when I was on it. Partly because I was promoted on my first two promotion tests. I spent more of my career as a Captain than anything else so that helped a lot with my retirement. So I got to retire at a (relatively) young age and I'm guaranteed a 3% cost of living increase each year for the rest of my life.

That said... If I live to be 70 I'll be surprised just because of all the things that I've been exposed to throughout my career. If I don't die in some freak accident then I already know I will die of some form of cancer. But... I knew that going into the job so it's not a surprise. FF's generally don't have as long of a life span as the general public. We are 400X's more likely to get certain types of cancer than the general public. Just part of the job.

 

Thanks for posting your journey. Sub’ed for inspiration.

 

Since this seems to be the place to talk about sobriety..
Anyone have any experiences with the "This Naked Mind" approach?

 

@RearViewMirror my dad hit 23 years on April 2nd. Even though your a stranger to me I’m still proud of your achievements, cause I know how hard it was for my dad. He’s been giving a lot back to the AA community over the last few years. It makes him happy since he retired.

 

I haven't. My experience with alcohol was a side effect of a deeper problem. Once I hit rock bottom it wasn't hard for me to quit since I had nowhere else to go. It might be good for someone I don't know? My personal opinion... I'm not real big on motivational speakers. Judging from the clip on that site, that seems to be what it is. Add to that you have to buy a ticket (didn't look to see what they cost) I just don't think you can change your entire perspective in a day or two if you are truly in the grips of alcoholism.

 

Great thread and happy belated thread anniversary.
I got my 15 year on April 19th. I do not say that to brag only to say that sobriety works if you work it. My life is totally different than what it was. I didn't get rich but I got gratitude. I am a better daughter, sister, friend, human. I want to live today. It wasn't that way 16 years ago. So what Craig says is so true Life is too short to give it to any substance. It is truly an inside job.

 

From what I know, it's a book. Sorta like Alan Carr's quit smoking book (if you've heard of it). Didn't know there was a thing for tickets. I guess the book is supposed to help change your subconscious opinions of alcohol?

 

Ah... I see. I just clicked on the site and a video came up with motivational speakers and "buy tickets" and I was put off by that. I "know" I would have been put off about that if I were still drinking. I didn't know there was a book but that might be helpful to someone. I'm speaking from person opinion so what I say might not hold any bearing for someone else. Honestly... whatever works is good enough. I think if you are struggling with addiction you already know you are. You might be able to hide if from everyone else but you can't hide it from yourself. So in seeking help... whatever works. If a motivational speaker, book, AA, etc... work for you then by all means, go down that path.

 

Yeah, I did the opposite. I know of the book and just found the URL. Didn't actually look at the page too hard. lol
I was just wondering if anyone has used it to stop drinking/how it went an all that jazz.

 

I'd be interested in that myself. If it does work it could be a great tool for someone that's for sure.

 

From what I've read it's supposed to help change your subconscious thoughts about alcohol (implanted by media and a drinking culture) so that you don't want to drink because you consciously and subconsciously know it's bad instead of fighting the internal, "you consciously know it's bad but subconsciously crave it battle"

 

Mine battle was a little different. It's not that I craved alcohol I just knew when I drank I would feel numb and it would quiet the thoughts in my head. Obviously this was a band aid approach that could only hold for a certain amount of time but that's where I was in my personal life. I understand that people drink for many different reasons and that's why there are many different approaches to successfully quitting. I don't personally think there is one distinct way of quitting. If there was it should be easy but it's not. As bad as my personal situation was, I'm glad it happened to me because that's what "I" needed to push me in the right direction. I'm a firm believer that there are only two ways out of this fight. You either have to hit rock bottom or you have to make a conscious decision to make a change. I don't know which one is harder honestly since I only tried one and it was rough. I've got a friend that checked himself into a clinic and it seems to have worked. But I know he struggled with finally getting to the point that he worked up the courage to actually go through with it. I commend him for that. I don't know if that approach would have worked for me or not? My underlying problems were much deeper than addiction. I just used it as a stopgap to avoid my main issues. And that didn't turn out well. But in the end I wouldn't change how it all went down. It gave me a new perspective of what could have happened and that helped more than anything.

 

Tell your pops a friend of Bill and Dr. Bob said to say congratulations on his 23 years. He'll understand the reference.

 

Congratulations on the 15 years.

 

Will do.

 

@deadpocketss The OP is dead on that whatever works for you to stop drinking/using is a good way to go.

My personal experience is a book such as that wouldn't of done the job for me to stop. I tried all kinds of things to stop for over a decade and simply couldn't stop. I drank and used other substances alcoholically . I relate to your description of the "consciously know it's bad and subconsciously crave it battle". Again, I had an honest desire to stop those last ten years, but I couldn't on my own. I could not will my self in to stopping, I lacked the power to do so by myself despite trying over and over. Due to another arrest, a pregnant wife with twins, and a threat of divorce I was broken enough to accept help. I went to AA and my life changed. It started with relating to other people that drank/used like I did, had done the shit i did, and described the powerlessness they had over drinking/using (your concious/subconscious battle) like I did. Here's the kicker though, those people I related to and that i knew understood me were sober and had found that power to stop. This gave me hope because if that drunk could stop then this drunk (me) could stop too. All I had to do is do what they did and the millions of other people in AA did (who are sober and happy now). So I did. I got a sponsor, did the steps, and went through a psychic change sufficient to overcome my alcoholism and drug addiction. At first I ran on the hope described above. Then these events started to happen as I went through the steps that were amazing and I went from hope to proof that the program worked. 4 years ago I was an alcoholic with a benzo/opiate addiction (functional, no one at work knew even though I was always under the influence of something). Today I am sober, happy, a father of 3 year twins who have never seen me loaded, not divorced, got the best job I've ever had because I could pass the drug test to get hired, and even started a side consulting company to pay for preschool. I do not have that conscious/subconscious battle anymore.

My recommendation is to try AA. Go to a meeting, introduce yourself as new, and just check it out. You may find people you relate to that successfully stopped. They would help you stop too.

I'll end with this logic which made sense to me when I was brand new because I'm a biologist (science background)

The result of an experiment is not accepted as a proof until the same steps are repeated and the same results are obtained. There are literally millions of people who have completed the steps of AA and got the same results.. sobriety.

Also . In the last three years the only handcuffs that have been on me have been recreational

 

Same thought,tell pop's good job on the 23 yrs.
From one ''GRATEFUL''recovering Alcoholic that drives a TACOMA named STEVE!

 

Nice post OP. I recently stopped drinking. I am not a fall down drunk by any means but some clues have shown me maybe it's time to stop.
- I am 44 and haven't gone longer than 2 weeks without a beer in 25 years.
- My GF is in school right now, very busy, long days/nights and how I have been handling my boredom? Going to the bar to drink beer/watch games
- I notice I look forward to drinking, during the day. When I get to the bar after work I am very anxious to get my first beer. Sometimes impatient.
- There have been a few times over the last 5 years with my GF that I have been a dick after drinking and have regretted it. Nothing major, but enough to make me feel bad about it
- I sleep like shit, some of it is just me...but the alcohol makes it much worse
- I come from a family of drinkers, maybe one of us needs to buck the trend

I should say, by drinking I mean 2-3 IPA's usually 5-6 nights a week. That is much less than I used to drink, but it's enough to make me think... I wonder what life would be like without it. So I am trying. So far so good