1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by RearViewMirror, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. May 20, 2019 at 6:29 PM
    #401
    Shwaa

    Shwaa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Member:
    #120129
    Messages:
    2,801
    Gender:
    Male
    Bay Area, CA
    Vehicle:
    '13 DC Prerunner TRD Off-Road
    Nice post OP. I recently stopped drinking. I am not a fall down drunk by any means but some clues have shown me maybe it's time to stop.
    - I am 44 and haven't gone longer than 2 weeks without a beer in 25 years.
    - My GF is in school right now, very busy, long days/nights and how I have been handling my boredom? Going to the bar to drink beer/watch games
    - I notice I look forward to drinking, during the day. When I get to the bar after work I am very anxious to get my first beer. Sometimes impatient.
    - There have been a few times over the last 5 years with my GF that I have been a dick after drinking and have regretted it. Nothing major, but enough to make me feel bad about it
    - I sleep like shit, some of it is just me...but the alcohol makes it much worse
    - I come from a family of drinkers, maybe one of us needs to buck the trend

    I should say, by drinking I mean 2-3 IPA's usually 5-6 nights a week. That is much less than I used to drink, but it's enough to make me think... I wonder what life would be like without it. So I am trying. So far so good
     
    uurx, Markcal, StayinStock and 5 others like this.
  2. May 20, 2019 at 6:34 PM
    #402
    ninernation

    ninernation Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Member:
    #92560
    Messages:
    637
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    TRDOR
    PTSD is truly the hidden taboo danger of first responders. By buddy was first on scene on a call where a baby died while the mom was at work and the dad was too busy playing Xbox to care for his son. When he found the baby dead he facebooked the mom, not called 911. My buddy had a child the same age.

    My buddy was haunted but as most males are he was too proud to ask for help. He became an alcoholic, lost his marriage and career.

    We aren't supposed to see these things but some people do day in and day out. Take care of yourselves.

    I defintely have houses, blocks and intersections that illicit a subconscious response.
     
  3. May 20, 2019 at 7:06 PM
    #403
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    Good for you for noticing you might have an issue. I say might because 2-3 IPA's (which I loved btw) a night doesn't sound like a major alcohol addiction. I'm not saying it's good but 2 beers a night is far from getting drunk. But the reasons you mention is why I say might. It's very easy to slide down that slope once you get started. There are a lot of things I regret because I was drunk at the time. Luckily I was a happy drunk and never wanted to fight but I did and said a lot of things that I regret and had a lot of apologies to make when I sobered up. I, like you, slept like shit when I was drinking. But I drank all day long well into the night until I usually passed out. I'd wake up sweating and stumble my way to the kitchen to get a couple glasses of water because I was so dehydrated. God those trips at 3:00am in the morning were hell. Then waking up feeling like shit from being hungover then starting the process all over again.

    I honestly don't know if there is a correlation between having family that were alcoholics or not? I've seen studies on both sides and I tend to believe that it's more of a choice than it is a predisposition. But that's my personal "opinion". My biological father was an alcoholic but no one made me put the bottle to my mouth. I always drank from the time I was in highschool and college. Obviously in highschool and college I drank to party. Once I graduated and got a real job I might go for a month or two without drinking at all. Maybe go to a get together and might have a few too many but generally I didn't drink much at all. Before all this happened on the job I might drink one or two beers when my wife and I went out to eat but I didn't normally keep beer at the house. If I did, it would last quite a while. But circumstances changed and I used it as a bandaid to cover up a much deeper issue that I was unwilling or unable to deal with. That's when it became a HUGE issue with me.

    It's a shame it's still taboo. I can't tell you the number of FF's that have called me after I came clean. I'm in close contact with a brother right now because he reached out to me. I don't reach out to anyone. I feel when they get to a place that they feel the need to talk, I'll always be here. When I came clean I bucked the norm. It felt as if I were stepping out on a limb when I became sober and the underlying cause that no one on the FD wanted or was unwilling to talk about. It's kind of an unwritten rule that "you don't talk about it" "man up". Well... that's fine and good if you haven't worked on the busiest Truck Company in the state for almost 20 years and averaged 3000 runs per year. But when you see as much shit as I saw there are somethings that your brain can't handle. I still live with it and I always will. But I've just learned to deal with it in a more productive way. Much better than the way I was dealing with it. At the very least, I can remember what I said last night. That wasn't always the case.
     
  4. May 20, 2019 at 7:23 PM
    #404
    Shwaa

    Shwaa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Member:
    #120129
    Messages:
    2,801
    Gender:
    Male
    Bay Area, CA
    Vehicle:
    '13 DC Prerunner TRD Off-Road
    Thanks for the reply Craig. I salute you for dealing with your issue the way that you have. It obviously was a lot more serious than mine, and you overcame it. That is awesome.
    The other issue is my tolerance has gotten less over time, not more. So 3 IPA's may hardly be anything but it does make me feel sluggish the next day. So I am thinking, what is the point?
    I think you are right on the family members thing. Some of my family members (who are more severe than what I described) blame it on the genes, but I think that is cop-out and like you said no one forced them to drink.
     
    RearViewMirror [OP] likes this.
  5. May 20, 2019 at 8:31 PM
    #405
    Taco-Obsessed

    Taco-Obsessed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2018
    Member:
    #276756
    Messages:
    835
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Shawn
    Vehicle:
    2015 4X4 DBLCB LB FTMFW
    Kings ext travel with resis + TC UCA, Dakar s with B110 ext. Billies + ext brake lines ubolt flip with super bumps, bruteforcefab hybrid front and HC rear, 33s FN wheels cab mount chop/pinch hammering, on and on .. lots more to come
    Good for you @swhaa
    Where in the bay are you?
     
    RearViewMirror [OP] likes this.
  6. May 21, 2019 at 7:08 AM
    #406
    Shwaa

    Shwaa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Member:
    #120129
    Messages:
    2,801
    Gender:
    Male
    Bay Area, CA
    Vehicle:
    '13 DC Prerunner TRD Off-Road
    Thanks. East Bay Area
     
  7. May 21, 2019 at 12:40 PM
    #407
    StayinStock

    StayinStock Whatever

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2018
    Member:
    #249870
    Messages:
    9,049
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Bob
    SE Missouri
    Vehicle:
    18 OR DCSB CEMENT
    Some
    :thumbsup:
     
    RearViewMirror [OP] likes this.
  8. Jun 1, 2019 at 9:18 AM
    #408
    Taco-Obsessed

    Taco-Obsessed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2018
    Member:
    #276756
    Messages:
    835
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Shawn
    Vehicle:
    2015 4X4 DBLCB LB FTMFW
    Kings ext travel with resis + TC UCA, Dakar s with B110 ext. Billies + ext brake lines ubolt flip with super bumps, bruteforcefab hybrid front and HC rear, 33s FN wheels cab mount chop/pinch hammering, on and on .. lots more to come
    I got three years today. No liquor or dope, not even fucking nyquil. :woot:
     
  9. Jun 1, 2019 at 9:26 AM
    #409
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    Congrats my friend!
     
    Taco-Obsessed likes this.
  10. Jul 17, 2019 at 11:22 AM
    #410
    Yota03DC

    Yota03DC Yerp

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2019
    Member:
    #298734
    Messages:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    N.C.
    Vehicle:
    2003 Toyota Tacoma DC
    Congrats to everyone who has quit, if you're trying, hang in there. It doesn't happen overnight but it does happen, me and many others here are living proof.

    If I had all the money I spent on alcohol I could go buy a new Tacoma, maybe 3. I learned it from watching my dad. I would leave notes as a kid with his hidden bottles. Didn't help. I eventually turned into him at 20 years old and he and I drank a lot, together. I quit once for 2 years and started back. I drank for 15 years probably. I got married, still an alcoholic. My wife and I went through a miscarriage, caused me to drink more. She got pregnant with our son and I decided then and there if he grows up to be an alcoholic he wasn't going to learn it from his dad. I been sober for 7 1/2 years with no help other than Jesus and my wife.
     
  11. Jul 17, 2019 at 3:56 PM
    #411
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    Congrats on 7 1/2 years. I'm on 8 going on 9 right now. I'll be quite honest, I never think about drinking at all. It just never crosses my mind. I think (in my case), after a while it just becomes part of your life after you gain sobriety. I hate that I went though it the the way that I did but coming out the other side, life is so much better. Keep up the good work my friend. You are in good company here.
     
  12. Jul 17, 2019 at 4:13 PM
    #412
    J_Anthony_

    J_Anthony_ Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2019
    Member:
    #293545
    Messages:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Jakk
    Huntington Beach, Cali
    Drinking was amazing. For a while. That rush you get when you have your first drink. The confidence in character. The change in mood. How it washed away all your problems. It was something I was always chasing. I was a social drinker, but I never drank with the same crowd. It always changed because the people I hung out with, stopped or I outgrew them in drinking. Over the years I spiraled. I pushed everyone around me away. I lost almost everything. Today, I’m about to hit my 6 months sober. I have a BEAUTIFUL 4 month old baby girl, and a VERY gorgeous, loving , and caring significant other. We just had our anniversary a few nights ago.


    They say you live two lifes if you struggle with what we are all talking about. One as a drunk. And one as sober productive human.

    I’m happy to end up on the other-side at 27.

    Great to see everyone’s stories. Keep it up Fam.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019 at 4:25 PM
    Shwaa, BINK05TRD, StayinStock and 5 others like this.
  13. Jul 17, 2019 at 5:25 PM
    #413
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    Like you I was a social drinker. But there were times that I might go for months between drinking a beer. Like I've mentioned before in this thread, my wife and I would go out to eat and I "might" have one or two beers and that was it. I might bring home a six pack of beer but it would last for a long time. Then everything changed. After the box in my head exploded after that one run, I couldn't gather all the thoughts and memories of everything that I had seen and done back up and put them back in that box. I started drinking more and more just to go numb and quiet the screaming from that mother that lost her son while I was working on him. I don't know why it had to be that particular run but that doesn't matter... it was just a matter of time before that box was going to explode anyway. It was like a ticking time bomb in my head. After that I was drinking everyday. Then when drinking wasn't enough, I added pain pills, xanax, and whatever I could get my hands on. If you read the first post of my thread then you know the rest.

    After that night, quitting wasn't that hard. I completely gave up everything in one day and never touched it again. I don't miss drinking at all and I never think about it. But I would be lying if I said that I don't miss the pain pills because I do. I miss that every day. But my Dr. and I have a contract with each other and it is in my chart for everyone to see that treats me that I'm not allowed pain pills unless something tragic happens to me. I get a physical every three months (for cholesterol) and I make sure that a drug test is included to hold me accountable to him (and me). There is a reason that there is such an epidemic with opiods in this country. Drs. have been handing out pain pills like candy for a very long time. Big Pharm is largely responsible for this because they are nothing but synthetic heroin. But I fell into that trap. I willingly took them so it is completely my fault and I take full responsibility for my actions.

    You are right with living two lives. I'm not the same person I was when I was 35. I was confident and invincible. After that run... I lost everything that I was. Now I live a completely different life. I'm still the same person with the same personality. But I have become more aware of everything. Life without a substance in my body is much better than the alternative.
     
    Taco-Obsessed and StayinStock like this.
  14. Jul 17, 2019 at 5:38 PM
    #414
    StayinStock

    StayinStock Whatever

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2018
    Member:
    #249870
    Messages:
    9,049
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Bob
    SE Missouri
    Vehicle:
    18 OR DCSB CEMENT
    Some
    28 years sober here. It gets easier.
     
  15. Jul 17, 2019 at 6:23 PM
    #415
    BINK05TRD

    BINK05TRD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2012
    Member:
    #73203
    Messages:
    1,719
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Matt
    Massachusetts
    Vehicle:
    TRD OR AC SILVERSKY 15
    Nice work fellas. I love to read these success stories it gives me inspiration to help out with my brothers sobriety and staying clean. It’s a battle for me doing what I can to help him.
    That sometimes makes me crack a few beers. I know it not right to hide behind the bottle. I guess in a way I need a little help.
    Keep up the good work.
    Have a good night everyone.
     
  16. Jul 17, 2019 at 9:39 PM
    #416
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    I've come to realize that most people that are suffering with this just need someone to talk to. You may not have to say anything. For me... just having someone there that will truly listen is one of the most valuable things that someone can do for another. That isn't a cure all and that might not be relevant for every person. But it was relevant to me. That said... for those that aren't ready or willing for help... there is little you can do. I was in that spot. Until I finally hit rock bottom was the only way that I could see that I needed to change directions and crawl out of that pit that I had created for myself.
     
    Yota03DC and medic2230 like this.
  17. Jul 17, 2019 at 10:12 PM
    #417
    Sharpish

    Sharpish Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2016
    Member:
    #173981
    Messages:
    1,377
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma TRD OR 4x4
    Did you guys ever have issues with your Liver? I asked my doctor to prescribe me Antabuse because it was too damn exhausting relying on will power all the time.

    Every time I go a day without drinking an old friend would call me up saying they are in town and wanted to catch up over a beer. You just can't get away from it, there's a liquor store on every block tempting you.

    I would go on weekend benders and be drunk for like 48 hours at a time, then suffer brutal anxiety and other withdrawal symptoms during the week unless I had a drink or three on the weekdays to knock it down.

    Once I've gone a couple days without I feel great. I'm not sure I want to quit alcohol forever because there was a time when it was a normal, enjoyable thing. I'd like to get back to that place.
     
    Yota03DC likes this.
  18. Jul 17, 2019 at 10:16 PM
    #418
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Member:
    #102010
    Messages:
    22,589
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig Christ
    State of Love and Trust
    Vehicle:
    2013 DCSB 4X4 TRD Off Road *Sold*
    I didn't have any problems with my liver surprisingly. But I will say this... When they lowered the amount of acetaminophen in the pain pills down to 325 I would have to do math to figure out how much I could drink and how many pills I could take without fucking up my liver. Truly sad looking back.
     
  19. Jul 17, 2019 at 10:29 PM
    #419
    Sharpish

    Sharpish Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2016
    Member:
    #173981
    Messages:
    1,377
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
    Vehicle:
    2012 Tacoma TRD OR 4x4
    At least you did the math. I think people think they are invincible and have the idea of "there's people out there way worse than me" so they don't think about it. Next thing you know they need a transplant at 45.

    I got some tests done out of curiosity and the results were all normal. But the liver can be 85% scarred and still keep up with the load; right up until it can't anymore.
     
    RearViewMirror [OP] likes this.
  20. Jul 18, 2019 at 7:40 AM
    #420
    Yota03DC

    Yota03DC Yerp

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2019
    Member:
    #298734
    Messages:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    N.C.
    Vehicle:
    2003 Toyota Tacoma DC
    I'm the same, I don't think about drinking now and look back and think "what was I doing that for"? When I drank, all I thought about was "when do I get off work so I can start drinking again"? On Saturday morning I would think "is it too early to start drinking"? Glad that's behind me now.
     

Products Discussed in

To Top