Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

True that. Alcohol is but a symptom. The underlying evil is what needs to be addressed but that will come to realization in time. Few have ever made a good decision while under the influence. Remember all this didn’t happen overnight. Gonna take some time & some serious soal search in’ before you find the path to make it right.

 

That debate happened yesterday, needed to stop and grab some lightbulbs but I knew if I did it was game over, I’d grab something to drink too, so… no lightbulbs that shit can wait! Had that same thing happen time and time again… actually had to get vocal with myself in the truck on the way home telling my brain to STFU!

 

Yessir that Silent Scream makes it powerful hard resist but just take a sec. to ask Would a drink really help? Would it change a toublesome situation, person,place or thing? No, likely Not. This feelin’ too shall pass. Hang in there, you’re doin’ the right thing.

 

Yup..it's not just not drinking, you're learning how to live without it.

I recently gave someone the analogy..drinking would be like punching a wall and making a hole in it when you're mad, sad, etc. You still didn't fix the original problem, you've now caused 1-2 more problems because the wall has to be repaired and your hand is hurt.

 

Each time you don’t act on those thoughts to use you’re getting better and better at not falling for it in the future. You’re building up a defense and rewriting your brain. It ain’t easy, but nothing worthwhile is!

Early in sobriety it’s nearly impossible to imagine a life where you don’t think about it or have to fight it, but it does happen. I can’t tell you the last time I seriously contemplated having a drink or drug. That problem was removed long ago and was removed by working the steps with a sponsor and going to meetings.

The days and weeks and months and years add up before you know it, but only by taking it one day at a time. I cannot believe I’m approaching ten years now. I could not fathom ten days when I first got clean. Luckily I didn’t have to. Live in 24 hour increments or less!

 

I really appreciate this conversation. I’m not really making the best progress. But I have come to the point of acknowledging it. This helps me. Thank you. I’ll get there.

 

Just hit 9 months sober, definitely a hard thing to go through but worth it. The awkward feeling is accurate.

 

You gotta start somewhere. Remember, a problem shared is a problem cut in half.

 

Recognizing there is an issue is the first step in solving any problem. You've done that. It takes work and I won't pretend that it is easy. But if it's something that you truly want to do... reach out to someone you know that you trust to help you along the way. This is much easier with someone in your corner.

Be well my friend. This thread will be here for you.

 

Yesterday... it got better! It's amazing how much more energy I have, how much more sleep I'm getting. Before I was functional, but damn... ain't felt like this is years! Had a few moments on day 6/7 but not nearly as bad as days 1-5. I know I'm not done, never will be. Yet, its amazing how much of a difference just 7 days brings!! Thanks all for the continued support!!! First full week of absolute sobriety in nearly 5 years! Before I'd lie to myself and everyone else and maybe drink 2 or 3 and not get blackout wasted and call that a sober day!

 

This was a very good read. First because I don't know any firefighters or policemen or military people so I don't know what they go through. I've seen crazy shit happen before but to have it happen constantly is crazy. Needless to say I'm glad you were able to climb from that bottom and I also can't thank you enough for your service.

I live next to a fire station, so every time I'm looking out the window and see that garage door open and the engine sparkling those lights I only pray for those guys to be able to endure what they're about to tackle and they can all make it back safe.

Mental health issues are no joke, and it can kill someone from within.

Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you and your family stay safe and happy.

 

Hang in there! 21+ years sobriety myself.

 

Keep up the good work brother. It will get easier over time. I'm not going to lie to you and say that there will never be times that you want to pick up a bottle. But once again... You are doing it the right way. Those moments will become fewer and farther between. There will come a time where you don't think about it rarely if ever.

You're doing good brother. Like I mentioned... You've done the hard part. You recognize there is an issue and now you have built up the strength to confront that issue. That is one of the largest steps you can make.

Thank you my friend.

 

Congratulations Matt, one day at a time

 

Acknowledging it is the first step, took me years to acknowledge it. Just hit 10 years in December. If I can do it, anybody can!

 

Hit 100 days on 2/22/22 so that was neat.

 

Grats brother! You're doing well.

 

Thanks!
Makes me wonder if anyone hit 222, 2222, etc. on 2/22/22 lol