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Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by RearViewMirror, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. Feb 13, 2014 at 9:04 AM
    #141
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    I have my days I won't lie. Never enough to make me go back down that dark hole though. Some days are better than others but I just handle them in a different manner. Family support helps greatly and now my wife is a active part in the process so she has become aware of when I'm not myself. I can tell you for certain... Just being able to talk about it will do wonders.


    Thank you!
     
  2. Feb 13, 2014 at 10:53 AM
    #142
    F16TACO

    F16TACO Well-Known Member

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    Well congratulations to your wife as well for being there for you. We are not an easy lot to handle. Haha
     
  3. Feb 25, 2014 at 10:49 PM
    #143
    Kevoh

    Kevoh Well-Known Member

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    a few goodies here and there!
    Thank you. I am in the Fire Academy right now and there is only so much preparation you can have. We are told stories, shown videos, but I know none of it will be come a reality until I am actually there experiencing it.
     
  4. Feb 26, 2014 at 7:08 AM
    #144
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Only real advise I can give you is to not keep it bottled up as I did. Eventually it will find a way out usually with destructive force.
     
  5. Mar 6, 2014 at 4:37 PM
    #145
    Itspronouncdwatah

    Itspronouncdwatah Well-Known Member

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    I am only a year or so out of the academy and the shit they show you does not begin to prepare you. OP great thread, I am currently a year and a half sober. I was hooked on pain killers for 5 years. My mother passed away when I was 4 and the rest of my family minus father and grandma shortly after so needless to say I have depression. I was given percoset for a broken hand and after 3 days I was hooked. FINALLY here was this magic pill that made me able to not feel anything. The next 5 years were downhill. I started lying to my family to get money , doing odd jobs on top of full time job etc. Anything I could do to get the money so I wouldn't have to feel anything anymore. I destroyed personal relationships and friendships because being numb was literally the only thing I cared about. July 26, 2012 I looked in the mirror and couldn't stand what I saw (granted it had been years since i could look at myself without feeling sick). 0330 i got in my car (06 vw jetta gli) and decided that 22 years of misery was enough. I bought 2 , 5 gallon gas cans and soaked first the interior then myself with said gas. plan was to to close the door and go up with the car. It may sound crazy but something came over me last second and I GTFO.
     
  6. Mar 6, 2014 at 4:43 PM
    #146
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    I know all to well the addiction to pain pills. If I'm honest it's the only thing that I still have a craving for. The alcohol and other stuff doesn't bother me anymore but the pain pills... yeah. Like you said, the feeling of being numb is a relief and a curse at the same time. Pain pills are essentially synthetic heroin so there is no doubt that they are addictive.

    I'm glad that you were able to get out of your situation and I wish nothing but the best for you.

    Stay safe my friend!
     
  7. Mar 9, 2014 at 10:22 PM
    #147
    davelee94

    davelee94 Well-Known Member

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    Good for you man. Takes a strong person to do what you did. And like you said some people don't make it. Ive had 2 friends pass away and 1 that almost did. Much love brotha :)
     
  8. Mar 9, 2014 at 10:24 PM
    #148
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Thank you
     
  9. Mar 12, 2014 at 3:04 PM
    #149
    Stribb

    Stribb FNG

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    We all have our demons. It takes a real man to grab them by the horns and confront them. Hang tough
     
  10. Mar 12, 2014 at 4:59 PM
    #150
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Thank you. I am! Working on 2 years now.
     
  11. Mar 26, 2014 at 12:34 AM
    #151
    TRDMEDIC

    TRDMEDIC Well-Known Member

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    I just stumbled on this thread. I commend you for turning your life around. For you, your wife, your daughter and family. It gave me some tears reading the post about your daughter and swing set. She will be proud if and when you tell her your story. Even though you missed a part of her life you are now there and one day being there to walk her down the aisle.

    Recently found out a coworker was having alcohol problems. Don't know him well. One day during crew change when I left I had thought he smelled like alcohol, but didn't want to accuse. He looked like shit. Unshaven tired and raggedy looking. Got on the wrong bus. The next time I saw his partner I brought it up to his partner and he tells me that he was already under the help from the company. The next week I show up to work and find out the night before he rolled his car driving to work. He was in uniform. took off his shirt and threw it at the supervisor who showed up. Glad he was not killed or hurt anyone else. I feel bad for his son because he is a single dad.

    Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats on your two years. Here's a hand shake from a fellow first responder.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2014
  12. Mar 26, 2014 at 6:49 AM
    #152
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Thank you very much for the kind words. I'll always carry the regret and guilt with me of the things that I don't remember for those few years. That never goes away or gets easier. But... I'm glad what happened to me happened. As embarrassing and ashamed as I felt / feel it was probably the best thing that could have happened.

    I hope your friend can get the help he needs. Self medication is not the best route. I'm a prime example of that.

    Take care my friend and stay safe!
     
  13. Apr 18, 2014 at 12:03 PM
    #153
    Kenobe

    Kenobe Well-Known Member

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    Just found this thread myself. Good on you for sharing your story for others to see and ponder. Those pictures of your daughter are completely priceless.

    Had a buddy turn into a raging alcoholic after 20 years in the AF. We all tried and tried to save him but he was determined to self destruct. He was forced to retire after losing 2 stripes and we lost track of him. A few months later we read he drank himself to death.
     
  14. Apr 18, 2014 at 1:51 PM
    #154
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    I sure wish I remember taking them.


    That's what so sad about this whole thing. The parts of her life I missed because I chose the wrong direction.

    Very sad to hear about your friend. I've seen it all too often happen to close friends of mine. Very easily could have happened to me. I'm one of the lucky ones.

    Thank you for the kind words!
     
  15. Apr 21, 2014 at 3:25 AM
    #155
    coffeesnob

    coffeesnob Well-Known Member

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  16. Apr 21, 2014 at 3:30 AM
    #156
    cjl226

    cjl226 Well-Known Member

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    I know you don't want any recognition, but you deserve it! I am happy for you and for your family!
     
  17. Apr 21, 2014 at 8:37 AM
    #157
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    You're right. That's all I can do.


    Thank you!
     
  18. Apr 21, 2014 at 9:32 AM
    #158
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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  19. May 3, 2014 at 7:49 AM
    #159
    CrucialLimiT

    CrucialLimiT Member

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    Well I spent 6 years in the military MOS 11B4 2C this past October I quit drinking as well.
     
  20. May 3, 2014 at 7:50 AM
    #160
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Grats man! Keep up the good work. It gets easier the further down that road you travel.
     
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