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Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by RearViewMirror, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. May 3, 2014 at 7:54 AM
    #161
    CrucialLimiT

    CrucialLimiT Member

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    Glad to see you quit drinking, had a guy with entrails hanging out from an IED. Messed me up something fierce, good guy too. My brother told me I had to just get over it. "Get over it" that's the issue isn't it.

    The reality everyone else will get over it, and move on. That's what I didn't want, to "get over it"... The thing is saw a lot, picked up dead, injured, even picked up a guy who's arm came out of socket.

    But drinking wasn't conducive to getting back to normal. I'm in college with two boys, and to quit drinking was the best decision ever.

    Have a great day.
     
  2. May 3, 2014 at 8:36 AM
    #162
    Agent Smith

    Agent Smith Always outnumbered, never outgunned

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    What I've learned and come to terms with is that what incidents cause PTSD in some, others won't be affected in the same way or at all. Everyone is different, and to dismiss someone's trauma with "get over it" is way too simplistic.

    I've received great relief by talking it out, and while reliving past traumas brings up the pain again, it makes it less traumatic each time until it's just a part of what happened to you, it ISN'T you.
     
  3. May 3, 2014 at 8:51 AM
    #163
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    I completely agree. For me it was one specific run but I think it was also the culmination of all the others and that was the final straw. I agree with you on talking it out with someone you trust. I'm a open book. Everyone knows what I went through on the job and since I've been so open about it I have had so many people talk to me about "their" situation. That in itself is therapeutic to me. I wish I would have had someone to do that for me in the beginning.

    I wish when it happened I wouldn't have handled it so poorly.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2014
  4. May 8, 2014 at 10:32 AM
    #164
    CrucialLimiT

    CrucialLimiT Member

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    I think what helped me was visiting the Ann Arbor V.A, two specific Doctors their I can attribute to helping me plant the foundation for a brighter future.

    I was drinking 18 bud Ice a night, watching Liveleak.com until 5 am, getting up at 9 am going to school, then work until 9 pm. I would repeat the cycle six days a week. It culminated in an affair, and I had everything, house, truck, luckily my wife dragged me to the V.A.

    She sat in listening to all the stuff I had buried deep inside, engagements, picking up body parts, bagging and tagging dead insurgents (which I thought didn't bother me) because I was ecstatic doing that.

    I would travel to the V.A, half way their I would develop intense migraines so popping Extra Strength Tylenol was the norm until one day they just stopped.

    I quit drinking like that for a year, then picked it up again for two years or so, until this past October. MY Voc Rehab officer, a MARINE brought me back from the brink. I am Army, but that MARINE is the "Epitome" of leave no one behind.

    I realized this time, without anyone having to say it I'm an Alcoholic. I have been going to church, and working out. The night I came to the realization I was coping with alcohol again, I finished 5 32 oz beers. I know God put on my heart to get back into church, and he presented me with a question. "If you had to choose between alcohol or food for your children what would you honestly choose?"

    I answered alcohol. I have been seeing a substance abuse counselor for the past couple months and feel another foundation has been laid for me to grow.

    I have in the past week done EMDR look into it, in one sitting I was able to acknowledge that people lost in battle wasn't my fault, "WITHOUT GUILT" for thinking, let alone saying it.

    I felt like I hadn't in years, coupled with good people at church, I am a new man. Well Besides occasionally pissing people off on Tacoma World with unorthodox thinking lol.
     
  5. May 8, 2014 at 11:49 AM
    #165
    Postmasteroats

    Postmasteroats Well-Known Member

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    I too have seen things that the image never leaves your mind such as a little 6 year old
    girl that went across the road to get the mail with her dog in a rural area. We were first on the scene with both of them hit by a vehicle blinded by the sun. Both of them deceased. I too found sobriety for the last 27 years. I had 3 girls around her age at the time.
     
  6. May 9, 2014 at 7:36 PM
    #166
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    The longer you go the easier it gets. The truth of the matter is you need someone to hold you accountable. It's hard to do it on your own. You need someone you can trust with all your deepest darkest secrets. Then and only then can you release your demons.
     
  7. May 11, 2014 at 7:54 AM
    #167
    MassEffect

    MassEffect Active Member

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    It's nice to see you fellas were able to get help when you needed it. As a civilian contractor at the Pentagon during 9-11, I was not qualified to receive any help from the military or the government, both state and federal. As a result, I had to find my own. It's been a long long road over the past 12-13 years, can't tell you how many times I sat on the bed and wondered whether or not it was worth continuing on.
     
  8. May 13, 2014 at 8:59 AM
    #168
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Though the situations are somewhat dissimilar the outcome parallels what I went through. Worth a watch especially when he speaks about his daughter. I heard the exact same thing.


    http://youtu.be/TJ94egNREik






     
  9. May 29, 2014 at 8:00 AM
    #169
    Ecidemon

    Ecidemon Active Member

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    I've been trying to quit drinking, but when you're self medicating it's difficult. I used to enjoy having a beer or 2 after work, but for the last year and a half I've drank every day because I feel I have to. I've drank since I was a teen, but not every day, and I went a year here and there where I didn't drink at all. I have a 2 year old daughter and a wife who's put up with it so far, but I know if I don't change something fast, I'll lose them both. Somehow, this still isn't enough to make me quit drinking, despite wanting to quit. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety and panic attacks, where I feel like I could drop dead any second. I started drinking every day after I lost my job xmas 2012. I've since been re-employed, at a much better company and job, but I still drink every day. Basically I traded drinking heavy Friday and/or Saturday to drinking every day. I'm also on a benzodiazepine, although less potent than xanax. My Mother, her Sister, Brother and Father were all alcoholics. Unfortunately, it killed my grandfather when I was young, and my mother new years 2001. I feel that if I don't change, this is where I'm headed.
     
  10. May 29, 2014 at 11:07 AM
    #170
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    PM'd
     
  11. May 29, 2014 at 1:54 PM
    #171
    krap22

    krap22 Well-Known Member

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    RearView will give you some very good first hand advice.

    I come from a line of alcoholics on both sides of my family. Both Grandfathers drank excessively and it ended up taking their lives. Both of my parents vowed to not be like their fathers. They have been very successful with it. They have also passed that on to me. I rarely drink, and when I do, it is more socially than anything.

    The chain of alcoholism can be broken. Once you break it, you will feel so much better. I wish you the best.
     
  12. Jun 12, 2014 at 11:00 PM
    #172
    MABTacoma

    MABTacoma New Member

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    Sitting here wondering what to say to you after reading your story. Thank you doesn't cut it, but is certainly necessary.

    I no longer do drugs, (spent 15 years smoking pot to medicate my own PTSD). Don't drink excessively, (but have had a few experiences in my 47 years that mirror the day you hit bottom). I'd say "I'm sorry you had to witness those things", but, candidly, you wouldn't be you if you hadn't. About the only thing I can say that seems appropriate is, we are all humans with failings. Your challenges and ability to rise above them both tell the world a lot about you. I'm glad you had your wife there to support you, your daughter there to love you, and (I hope I'm not out of line here) God there to look out for you.

    Tonight, when I am laying in bed, with my three year old son next to me and my wife next to him, I will pray. I'll thank him for my life, my wonderful wife, my beautiful son, and for bringing you and your story to me. Then I will pray for those in need, and end it by asking for the opportunity to be of assistance to others as you have done.

    Thank you, and God bless you and your family.
     
  13. Jun 13, 2014 at 6:05 AM
    #173
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Thank you for the kind words. :)
     
  14. Jun 25, 2014 at 12:28 PM
    #174
    AWF ROWD

    AWF ROWD ...eats at the " Y " often....

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    Your TW handle makes all the sense in the world now......introspective self reflection.... :cool:
     
  15. Jun 25, 2014 at 1:29 PM
    #175
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Comes from a Pearl Jam song by the same name.

    "Saw things so much clearer. Once you.... were in my.... rear view mirror"

    And yes... it is very introspective.
     
  16. Jun 25, 2014 at 1:45 PM
    #176
    AWF ROWD

    AWF ROWD ...eats at the " Y " often....

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  17. Jun 28, 2014 at 5:48 PM
    #177
    js312

    js312 Well-Known Member

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    Sort of the same deal here...I had a grandfather and two uncles that died in an alcohol related way. Many of my extended family members drink excessively and their lives have gone wrong because of it. My parents never drank, at least never anything significant.

    I don't at all. Never more than a taste...and honestly I can't deal with the bitterness of anything anyone has had me try. Don't want to find out I have the same issue that much of my family does. I value the way my life is too much to go down that road. I think stories like these just show me that I shouldn't fall back on that. If I never start, it'll never be a problem. Granted, I'm 22 so things could change but I just don't see myself changing my mind on that.
     
  18. Jun 28, 2014 at 6:02 PM
    #178
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    I think you're a wise man. I hope you never choose to go down that path. My biological father was a alcoholic and others in my family were also. But... I don't use that as a crutch. It was no ones fault but my own and I accept full responsibility. It was a sad set of circumstances that led me down that path and I wish I would have chosen more wisely. But I didn't.

    I got a second chance that I do not intend to squander.
     
  19. Jun 28, 2014 at 6:23 PM
    #179
    floodedkiwi

    floodedkiwi Well-Known Member

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    Hey, OP, been a while. Hope all is well and and stepping along one at a time....
     
  20. Jun 28, 2014 at 6:27 PM
    #180
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror [OP] Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Everything is well. Still clean and sober.
     
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