Son will be going to the Navy

Just looking to hear what other people have experienced with their kids wanting to go to the military or any of you that decide to get into the military.

Background on my son's current situation.
My son is 21 and hasn't done much schooling since he graduated from high school. His mother and I tried our best to motivate him to go to college or for him to get into a trade school but no luck. The only interest he's had is computers and gaming. He didnt see the point of going to college. School was always an issue with him since middle school. Barely graduated from high school.

He lived with me for a year and then moved back in with his mother. Currently he has 2 jobs one working with special need kids doing im not sure what and also doing Uber eats on the side. My son doesnt really communicate with me or his mother much. He's in his own world. Hard to try and talk to him because "he knows what he is doing"

Anyway about 2 months ago he texted me that he was thinking of joining the Navy. He said he had been talking to a recruiter about a Cyberwarfare engineering career. I asked him, have you done your research on what this intel's and the commitment that's required to join. He said yes which I dont think he has . 2 months pass and didnt hear anything about the Navy... thought maybe he just lost interest or felt it was too much for him. He ended up getting these 2 jobs he currently has so I really thought he had changed his mind about the Navy.

He sends me another text 2 days ago asking for information about myself and his social security card. Then he tells me he is going through a background check for the Navy and that most likely he'll be heading to book camp at the end of next month. I asked him ARE YOU 100% SURE you want to join? He said yes for sure.

Now Ive never been for or against the military. I have no prior experience with the military.
I always said if one of my kids decides to join that I would totally support their decision.
My concern is that he hasnt done his research on this and that he is just going off of what the recruiter has told him. Now im not talking smack about recruiters but I know they will paint a pretty picture about joining the military. I get it thats their job.

Any advice or tips on what I should tell him. Im definitely not going to discourage him from going. I honestly think at the end it may help him although I know at first its going to be challenging for him as this requires a lot of commitment and obviously relocating.
He did tell me he wants to make this a career and use all the benefits of the military to his advantage. Any tips or advice would be appreciated. Thanks

 

The Navy could and will likely be the best thing to happen to your boy. It sounds like he just needs some solid direction and training. That's exactly what the Navy will offer him and supporting him is the best thing you can do right now. Have a great day!

 

It's not my place, but I am curious why parents let their kids continue to live at home if they're not going to school. That was not an option for me.
Regardless, the military will be a different experience than either you or your son expect, but he'll likely be fine. He'll gain experience and clearance (required for cyber) and hopefully some maturity along the way. The recruiters' rosy picture seldom matches reality, but as long as he expects that it doesn't really matter. I'm not sure you can offer meaningful advice, other than your support.
I always recommend going to school first, then joining as an officer, but that doesn't sound like it would apply to your son.
I truly hope it works out well for him. It does for many.

 

Tell him you love him, tell him to go do his very best, tell him you look forward to hearing of his success, ensure him you're proud of his decision.

 

Thanks for replying. I have 2 other kids. My 24 year old daughter which she is getting ready to apply for med school and my other son who is 17 getting ready to graduate high school planning to get into the nursing program. I know all kids are different but man my 21 year old has been tough to parent. Smart kid just lazy lol.

 

So was I. Would not wish me as a kid on anyone. But things worked out surprisingly well.

 

as a guy who singed for the army, get anything and everything in writing. I've seen some secondary recruiters at the intake write up the contract differently and send guys to completely different things then the poolie signed up for with the recruiter at "home" also seen that home recruiter promise the world, and then when signatures are done at the end its nothing close to what the recruit agreed too, i got my 40k and shorter contract signed and wouldn't sign without reading it all, despite the pressure at MEPS

 

My god son is 22 and joined the Army about two years after high school. He's in a good MOS and seems to be really thriving. He was a bit of a lazy student. Really good kid, but gamed nonstop. Was totally listless after HS. I fully admit that I thought he would wash out really quickly.
In general, I think kids who are around 19-23 YO right now got screwed royally by you know what.
My other god son, his brother, is 21. Another real good kid. Eagle Scout. Played football. Guitar. Nicest kid. His dream was to join the Marines. The kid is a machine when it comes to weapons and tactics. But his senior year he suffered a serious stroke. Fully recovered, but the Marines wouldn't accept him. So he's been a bit listless. He has a decent job, but still lives at home. I think it'll work out eventually, but he got a raw deal with the medical issue.
All that to say that kids are pretty resilient and the military deals with tens of thousands of these little goobers every year. It'll work out. Or it won't. All we can do is offer support.
Good luck to him.

 

My grandfather was in the Navy, but went on to graduate from UC Berkeley with a degree in Civil Engineering. He was a whiz with numbers and math. He was the director of public works for the city of Tempe, AZ briefly, but finished his career as the director of public works for the city of Thousand Oaks, CA. He passed several years ago from colon cancer at 89.

My grandmother had a masters degree in Biology and a Brokers real estate license. They would frequently buy fixers, flip them, rent them and sell them. I know my grandfather really enjoyed doing the renovations on those.

I avoided the service branches, but some guidance and training in a skill set probably would have launched my career a lot sooner. I took the college route reluctantly and have a B.S. degree in business and computer science. Before that I went through the fire academy and spent a bit of time running heavy equipment.

My mom was big on education especially since she was a teacher herself and really encouraged college education. She got that from her mom.

I do data analytics now.

I should have gone into the trades instead as that's what I enjoy. Maybe a plumber. First choice would have been a famous race car driver and lead guitarist.


I don't know where I'm going with this other than to say if your son's not going to make a career of the military I would suggest learning a skill or trade there that
transfers to something after.

When you start thinking and planning for retirement some of those government jobs with checks for life are appealing.

 

Again thank you all for your opinions on this. Some really good stuff you guys are sharing and I really appreciate it. Im excited for him but at the same time sad/scared. I think that just me being a parent and finally letting this guy do his thing.

 

I just really wish I would know more about the military but as mentioned above the most important thing i can do is support him and have his back.

 

Just a thought but maybe you and your son could go visit a local VFW hall and talk to some of the folks there to get a better understanding of military life and what to expect.

 

Tough seeing your kids go. Only about 2% serve their country. A lot different from the 80s. Mine joined the army reserve after he graduated with a two year degree in maintenance and mechanics. He will finish boot camp in May. Then off for his wheeled mechanic training at Fort Greg Adam’s. He is at Fort Jackson for boot camp.

 

Hell yeah dude! I usually take the ones who don’t qualify with me(USAF) to the USN. They are homies and no matter the branch the outcome will be positive.

 

They did the firing range. It was digital but they will use a real firearm at some point. They do not teach hand to hand because the DS said your enemy should never be that close. He lost about 30 recruits the first week because they did not like it and went home This week they go on a 5 mile ruck, dig their own foxhole and spend a few days in it.

 

Im totally excited for my son. Seems like he is really looking forward to it. He knows that theres going to be challenging times in there but he understands that. Looks like he will be headed to Great Lakes in June for boot camp.

 

Send him packing. Navy does some cool shit and their ships have big guns that can shoot things from far away. When he goes to Thailand make sure he ask for the Ping Pong show.

 

My son joined the Navy when he was 19 after getting into some trouble with friends. He is very smart but skated through school with the least effort he could muster. He's been in 18 years now, started out as a C-130 mechanic and halfway through, changed to flight engineer. He's now a Chief and has been all over the world. The Navy has been the best thing for him. I think your son is making a wise move.

 

Thank you for sharing this. I keep hearing nothing but good outcomes for most of these young kids joining the military. It really puts me at ease. Like I mentioned before ive never been for or against joining the military but I totally support my sons decision. Again thank you to everyone that has shared their opinions and experiences with the military. Truely means a lot to me.

 

update

So my son has been going through the intake process. He had his physical exam yesterday. Was at MEPS Tuesday and was kept overnight. Wednesday had physical exam done but didnt pass because of 2 medical issues. One being a small spot on his skin and the other because he broke one of his collar bone twice when he was in elementary school years ago. I believe he was told he needed to see his doctor I guess to be cleared. My son through this whole processe hasnt really communicated much with me or his mother (he lives with his mother). I cant even get his recruiter information. Anyway I set an appointment up with his doctor. Im thinking he just needs some documentation from his primary physician that the rash is nothing to be of concern and maybe some recent xrays of his shoulder? What do you guys think?