Taco Vandalism

That’s probably smart.

 

Snake? Snake Plissken? Is that you?

 

Nope. No one here by that name. I think he fell overboard on a cruise.

 

Close, it's actually Snake's Jewish cousin, Snipped Foreskin...

 

Taste test required for identification purposes.

 

lol this fucking thread.

 

Ooo la la

 

Holy shit! This is the thread that keeps on givin!

 

Come over and I’ll keep giving too...

 

One time, me and my special forces buddies were choppered in to this remote South American jungle during the hottest part of the year during the hottest years anyone could remember. We were looking for another team that no one had heard from and had disappeared without a trace. We found them skinned alive and hanging from trees. It was unlike anything we had ever seen.

To make a long story short, I had to battle an alien hunter from another planet by covering myself in mud and setting an ingenious trap that only I could devise because the rest of my team had been slaughtered by him for trophy’s. It was a good thing too because I managed to save the female counter revolutionary that turned out to be a good shit and that we had captured during our mission earlier on.

Man I tell you, that was one of my tougher deployments... SMH.

 

She was a good shit.

 

One time, my step mother left this HUGE list of things for me to do, but I was like nah... fuck that. So I grabbed my red cloak and took off. I ran for what must’ve been hours and so I was really tired. I went into this house to take a nap, no matter what I couldn’t get comfortable. Turns out there was a pea under the mattress. Well I’m not sleeping in someone’s filthy bed. I’m a god damn lady and so I left. Walking out I ran into a shelf, dust fell all over me... damn dirty house. When I tried to get up, I started to fly... I was all like, whaattt? Got real high. Then the fucking rain came. I had to dive for the first thing I seen. It was this lone tower. So I barely made it to the window before all the dust washed off. There was this guy screwing some chick though. They got real made when I seen them. All I heard was “Jamie get her...” before I was pushed out. When I woke, I felt strange and could totally see the past and future. Now I just try to live one day at a time because you never know what could happen.

 

This thread is going to become our dark place

 

Sounds like a jalapeño cheese OD to me...

 

Mmmmmm MRE cheese...


Don’t judge my life... you don’t know where I'm lyrically at.

 

For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death...which I hope is soon. Amen.

 

This dumpster fire brought to you by the Human Centipede Dumpster Fire Team of @stun gun , @shane100700 , @JaCado and @USMC - Retired

*for information about how you can have a custom Dumpster Fire started in your own thread email us at HCDFT@humancentipede.com