1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

The Best Divorce Letter

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by chris4x4, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:12 PM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    103,773
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    Dear wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
    leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7
    years & I have nothing to show
    for it. These last 2
    weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
    quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last
    week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
    haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a
    brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minute
    s, & went straight to sleep after
    watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
    me anymore; or anything that connects us as husband &
    wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love
    me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband

    P.S. don't try
    to find me. Your SISTER & I
    are
    moving away to
    West Virginia together! Have a great life!



    Dear Ex-Husband:

    Nothing has made
    my day more than receiving your letter.
    It's true

    you & I have been married for 7 years,
    although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
    I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
    constant whining & griping. Too bad that
    doesn't
    work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but
    the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like
    a girl!' Since my mother raised me
    not to say anything
    if you can't say something nice, I didn't
    comment.
    And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
    me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
    years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
    you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I
    prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
    $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved
    you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto
    for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us
    2
    tickets to
    Jamaica
    But when I got home you were
    gone Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you
    have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
    that the letter
    you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
    from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!


    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
    sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
     
  2. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:13 PM
    #2
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Member:
    #7660
    Messages:
    4,075
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ian
    Vehicle:
    08 tacoma standard cab
    15% tinted back window, 25% on sides. Jardine catback exhaust system. horn modification, AFE pro dry S filter and secondary filter removed. All weather toyota tacoma mats.
    haha.....wasnt this in a joke thread not to long back?
     
  3. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:17 PM
    #3
    MiikeyD

    MiikeyD The Green Machine

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Member:
    #2017
    Messages:
    1,435
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    Upland, CA
    Vehicle:
    Green Prerunner DC 2.7L
    Suspension / Wheels / Tires 3.5" Fabtech lift w/ AAL 265/75/16 BFG A/T American Racing Baja Audio Alpine HU CDA-9886 Kicker DS650 Z-Edition 1000W Memphis M3 US Amps 4000W 2.5Farad Cap Lighting 6000K HID 2 Hella 500FF 2 Aux Bed Lights 2 Aux Driving Lights Performance Volant CAI Flomaster Super 44 Doug Thorley Long Tube headers (coming soon) NGK Iridium Sparkplugs Accessories Scanguage II Cobra LTD27-NW with 3' Firestik Radio Shack Triple Trunking Scanner Harbor Freight Hi-Lift Cosmetics Flat Black Bumper Trim Flat Black Grill Surrounding with Satoshi Clear Corners Future Modifications (not specific) Longtravel w/ king shocks or fox Caged bed Shackles rear suspension. Fox / king shocks custom front bumper Custom Glassworks extreme kit for 01-04 (only have hood and passenger side.. need driver panel) Supercharger + 8port intake manifold optima yellow top battery remounted new rims caged interior rear bench removal 4 sparc
    ahahahaha pwned!
     
  4. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:17 PM
    #4
    BLUVVV

    BLUVVV LARGE Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2008
    Member:
    #5102
    Messages:
    505
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Bryce
    Valley Center, CA
    Vehicle:
    11' A/C TRD O-R PreRunner
    flowmaster 40, blackout headlights, 10'' infinity subwoofer, custom rear enclosure, kicker mono amp. 5100's set at 2.5'', 32'' pro Comp Xtreme M/T tires, Pioneer dub din head unit, K&N CAI, MB Motorsports V-Drive rims
    that cant be real..too many crazy factors!
     
  5. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:18 PM
    #5
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    103,773
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    Was it?? I didnt see it...I dont think.......:confused:
     
  6. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:18 PM
    #6
    luk8272

    luk8272 Poodoo

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Member:
    #4929
    Messages:
    5,842
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Lucas
    Kaplan, Louisiana
    Vehicle:
    07 Silver4dr. 4x4, V6 Shortbed
    5% Tint, Bug flector, vent Visors, Removed secondary air filter, Rear Spring TSB w/ Wheeler's Add A Leaf HD Pack, Icon 2.0 rear shocks, Toytec 3" lift up front with Total Chaos UCA's, Debadged, Billet Grille,TRD Offroad rims/17x9 Pro comp 6001 rims, Duratracs 265/75/16 or 285/70/17, Fog light anytime mod, Tailgate hose clamp mod, Pro-dry AFE filter. Extended Differential Breather, ABS on/off, 6000k HID heads/fogs, ScanguageII, Devil horns, Devil horns on third brake light, Mounted 60" Highlift, Mounted Tool Box, Wet Okole Front Seat Covers, TW sticker, Midland Handheld CB,Painted engine cover, Revenge Fab Sliders, ARE Topper, Weather tech Floorliners.
    Thats a good one glad to see it again.
     
  7. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:21 PM
    #7
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    103,773
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    DOH! :frusty:
     
  8. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:28 PM
    #8
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Member:
    #7660
    Messages:
    4,075
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ian
    Vehicle:
    08 tacoma standard cab
    15% tinted back window, 25% on sides. Jardine catback exhaust system. horn modification, AFE pro dry S filter and secondary filter removed. All weather toyota tacoma mats.
    hey now, its still just as funny. besides, a bunch of other people get to see it now.:woot:
     
  9. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:29 PM
    #9
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    103,773
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, and lots of buttons.
    Thanks, Buddy. :eek:
     
  10. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:29 PM
    #10
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Member:
    #7660
    Messages:
    4,075
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ian
    Vehicle:
    08 tacoma standard cab
    15% tinted back window, 25% on sides. Jardine catback exhaust system. horn modification, AFE pro dry S filter and secondary filter removed. All weather toyota tacoma mats.
    no problem Chris
     
  11. Jun 15, 2009 at 8:45 PM
    #11
    magikbean562

    magikbean562 once flirted with danger, danger got clingy

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Member:
    #11681
    Messages:
    8,062
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    greg
    socal
    Vehicle:
    02 4runner 04 solara
    4runner-32x11.5x15 falken rocky mt, tundra king 2.5 coilovers with taco perch, TC UCA, OME rear springs and procomp es9000's, thule roof rack.
    popped my cherry. good one i lol'd:p
     
  12. Jun 16, 2009 at 7:50 AM
    #12
    Hot Tamale

    Hot Tamale Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2008
    Member:
    #7496
    Messages:
    6,312
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Pat
    Henderson, NV
    Vehicle:
    2012 Access Cab 4x2
  13. Jun 16, 2009 at 9:10 PM
    #13
    xDEADBIRDx

    xDEADBIRDx Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18381
    Messages:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    HAWAII
    Vehicle:
    1 sick 04
    deckplate mod, bfg at's, spray on bedliner, flows40, k&n drop in, wet okole's, 10" JL sub, kenwood deck, memphis mids, zapco amps, glock 17 9mm holster
    thats some funny shit
     
  14. Jun 17, 2009 at 5:49 PM
    #14
    spp

    spp Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Member:
    #442
    Messages:
    921
    Gender:
    Male
    :rolleyes: GEE. Ya Think?:rolleyes:
     
  15. Jun 17, 2009 at 8:00 PM
    #15
    Jason'sLawnCare

    Jason'sLawnCare Prepared for Bambi

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2009
    Member:
    #15878
    Messages:
    12,412
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Jason
    Jacksonville Florida
    Vehicle:
    08 4x4 Double Cab TRD Rugged Trail
    CBI Moab 2.0, CBI Trail Rider 2.0, CBI sliders w/kickout, Superwinch EPi9.0S, OME sport shocks w/886 coils, OME n182, 1.5" aal, JasonBuilt 3/16th full belly skid, BuiltRight uca, Body Mount Chop, 285/75/16 km2's, Rear cat delete, exhaust crossover rerouted, Fog light anytime, Locker mod, Rear leaf tsb, Debadged, Uws Tool Box, Electric Exhaust Cutout, AFE Pro Dry S, Kiwi Wifi, Diff Breather Relocated, Grom Ipod Adapter, Dual Diehard platinum batteries isolated by BlueSea marine switch
    Hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
     
  16. Jun 17, 2009 at 8:10 PM
    #16
    REVHARD25

    REVHARD25 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2008
    Member:
    #5113
    Messages:
    842
    Gender:
    Male
    so cal
    Vehicle:
    RUGGED TRAIL PACKAGE
    Tint on front windows. Dnx7120 kenwood. Rear tsb springs. Wet okoles seat covers UWS truck box Weathertech floor mats TSB floor mat hook grommets Satoshi grill AFE drop in filter Fumoto drain valve Bed mat
    that was great:D
     
  17. Jun 17, 2009 at 8:28 PM
    #17
    Fluffymonkey

    Fluffymonkey Token

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2008
    Member:
    #7932
    Messages:
    2,172
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Matt
    College Station, TX/ Lawrence, KS
    Vehicle:
    2013 Trd Sport DC, 07 DC sr5
    2007: Avid sliders, 30% front tint, Truxedo low-pro qt tonneu cover, aero turbine 2525 muffler w/ 8'' tip, AR25 Resonator, 16x8 Dick Cepek DC-1 w/ 265/75 Goodyear Wrangler Duratracs, 2010 headlights, ome 884 coils with .5'' top plate spacer, OME sport front shocks, blisten 5100s rear, 2'' aal, locking gas cap, LR ucas, Viper 2-way remote start, afe drop in filter, Rocky locking bike mounts, gear chest, scanguage, pop n lock tailgate lock 2013: most things transferred over from my 07, 5100s @ .85 + eibachs, wheelers progressive aal w/ overload
    lol I haven't seen that one. Nice one :D
     
To Top