The Petting Zoo (Suppository Depository)

ONly 3800 short of it.

 

I will take this as a yes

 

You are the man

 

I still have to give Randall his lol.

 

Thanks. I think very highly of your person as well.

 

John John John Here. Use this chart as a preamble to my course, "How to Understand Women In Simple Terms, and Not Wind Up Run Over In The Bowling Alley Parking Lot"

Mike, this is gonna be a tough case. John has some serious struggles ahead of him. First off, he is located in a region of the country where one might find themselves in the company of women for extended periods of time with the only relief possible death from being froze to death in a snow bank on a lonely back road. Second, he is not as young and easily conditioned for this type of training. Sometimes you just can't teach old dogs new tricks. Third, and this is gonna be a toughy, she is not only a woman, but she is a Vegan Woman!! So most likely while she is shutting down some of her ancient cave woman instincts she is heightening other, less favorable feminist traits. It could be she already feels men are not essential for her survival or needed to populate. Which is true, to some extent, but just not cool at all.

I have already offered John a very trustworthy cooking website for vegan recipes that I think would be perfect for him. He should do one of two things. I believe he knows what choice to make. However, I am always open to offer support, training, counseling, or even my expertise in this matter. He will need to reach out to me and explain more of the situation in detail. At the very least a description of the female in question, possible photo, and his relationship currently with her.

My service is so precise and tailored to each individuals needs so specifically I could potentially do more harm than good without the proper information.

 

Her family is vegan she like meet. But she is a natural red head. Half irish half german. Temperment of an irish person n stubborn as a german. But im the same way. Lol.

 

Love is a beautiful thing

 

Vegan is anti American. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

 

SO who's coming to the potluck BBQ at Patapsco in Ellicott City this Saturday, 3:00?

 

I wish man, sounds delicious.

 

Ok, then this is easy!!!!!

Get a bottle of Jameson and a Bottle of Riesling (better to have both bases covered). Make the family a large pot of vegetable rice soup, tell them you'll be right back, then take that funny little Arishwoman out for a ride in the truck, get her drunk as hell and slip her some steak!!!!!!!

You Da Man John!!!

 

Truth Spoken

 

Sup Chris,
I am now tentative. I have to handle an issue at the nursing home but I think I might be able to get out of it. Is fried chicken ok? I likely won't have time to prepare anything. Also, so I know how much to bring, do you have a solid head count?

 

Take a gun and a box of tissues to the nursing home Roberto. You will get your point across loud and clear.

 

Pro tip Hermano, don't ever let your Mom let her medical insurance expire without you knowing before. Especially before it's too late for you to do anything about it.

 

I'm glad you have decided to move on to a new victim

 

He has not given up on you Skip. You are code name “Operation Stinky Onion” since he has to peel back one layer at a time

 

I've left women for less. My SIL is a pescaterian and complains even though she says not to worry about cooking her something special when she comes to visit. So mom always caters to her dietary needs which she jumps on all sorts of fad diets. Me and the kiddo always eat before we go to mom's over the holidays to see them because the food is shit!!!! I don't know how my bro can put up with that shit!

 

What does your SIL eat?