The Useless Posts Thread

So people online that are earnestly sincere are not trolls?
Why?

 

Maybe
But not likely since none of you are real anyway

 

https://youtu.be/pWjYdKX3Mv4

 

https://youtu.be/h3E80_jzMhI

 

“I feel like low hanging fruit is the best fruit”.

-nDub

 

Also “Holy shit Pennywise is good”.

-nDub

 

Despite your insistence on the unreality of the rest of us I assure you we exist.
Sort of…..

 

That's exactly what the/a simulation/constuct would say

 

Cucumbers

 

Cucumbers... I didn't know this... and to think all these years I've only been making salads with the cucumbers...

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your taps, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the
shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

 

Pickles

 

I feel as if you are trying to derail this thread with green things.... eventually working your way to the cursed soap weed of satan.... which we already have a thread for.

 

Tom does not approve

 

https://media3.giphy.com/media/1Ye9...d0102162b6a03dd245004125ab&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

Funniest thing I've ever seen...

 

@tinker_troy
One of the good ones!
https://youtu.be/RfUzpGXSDqU

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/guineapigs..._gizmo_sharing_some_cilantro/?utm_name=iossmf

 

14. Cure for world hunger.



Not really because cucumbers take a shit ton of water.

#cucumbersaredelicious

 

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Is this a Star Wars thing?