Dick's Dank Yank Wank Tank

oh......yeah.....I streamed that song to the 75" tv in our conference room.......during an HR meeting..........it didn't go over as well as it did in my head.

 

Does anything ever go as well as it did in your head?

 

Yeah....actually........When I removed the legs off a co workers chair....who ALWAYS throws himself in it, and slides behind his desk....and very very gently reinstalled them, with tooth picks instead of bolts, it was BRILLIANT! The scream was heard all the way in the back office.

 

Please.......I'm not gonna dance on a conference table during a meeting. However..........getting on the office intercom, calling "what what" over every ones speaker phones.....while doing pelvic thrusts........violated most chapters of the company manual.

 

And you have no idea what OSHA is? You'd think you'd be on first name basis with them.

 

Oh no. That was the "Intro". I also pumped Co2 under the door when he was in the bathroom........after I threw lit matches under the door......

 

No....I know ALL about "OSHA"....and..they only apply to the folks working in the field.

 

I didn't have a hat...........and I was wearing pants.

 

I verified with our Lawyer, that because it doesn't say you aren't supposed to light co workers on fire, its not actually against any company policy.

 

Unless one of the people in the field screw up and they find out its one of the people in the chairs fault.

 

Nooop. We tell people to tell their people what/how to do their jobs. We run a very safe operation, and our field crews are among the best in the area.

 

We also have a PERFECT office safety record.

 

I find that hard to believe.