Took a second! (Them Dumb Moments) Own it!

Close. Cigarettes and beer.

 

Well there’s definitely a story there. You just guna keep to your self

 

We had a storm pass through the other day! Windy as all get! Wake up for the morning routine, let the dog out... get a cup of coffee! Yell his name, yell it again, again, again! Step outside see that he pissed on the back fence. Wait a couple of minutes thinking he’s huddled down in his ditch under the camper look too the left to the right and then wait back to the left the damn fence blew open in the storm that fuckers roaming the neighborhood! May or may not be relevant to topic but I had to look twice at the fence to realize it was wide open!

 

Several years ago my buddy bought a couple acres of land that was covered in junk/garbage. He asked me to help him clean it up (we filled an 18' trailer full, 6 times) and hauled to the dump. Anyhow, as I was walking kinda backwards I somehow managed to step into a 5 gallon bucket. My foot got hung up in there and I was hopping around on one foot trying to shake it off. I looked over at my buddy and he was leaning on a shovel giving me one of these .

 

Hope the DOG is safe and sound!!

 

He is... his momma got in her car and he came running up! My dumbass was walking around in crocs n socks! Soaking up water all over my jeans!

 

Ever triple layer up your deodorant just cause you can’t remember if today was today or yesterday or last night?! I have!

 

I hit my own car in my own driveway -- on two separate occasions ...

 

I was running a wire in the attic of the garage, it was 122 degrees up there, I had found a used piece of wire just the right length (being cheap). Turned the breaker on *BAM* trips, dead short -- my used wire was bad. Back in the attic again.

 

Ohh... another recent good one @The Blonde didn’t share!

Kiddos birthday is April 1st, party is on the 3rd, Easter is on the 4th! Said let’s get some eggs to fill up with all this change we kinda just separate and some candy and have an Easter egg hunt for her birthday party!

She’s all aboard with that idea! Goes and buys a bag of 144 eggs, tons of candy and I’m all like hell yea about to rip open the egg bag and get to filling them up!

As I look at the bag... pre-filled with 12 dozen eggs with jelly beans!

FUCK! Now I can’t pawn off all these damn pennies!

She looks at me and goes... “Yea I gotta start reading moar!”

 

Better than an ohh fuck it’s on fire!

 

Moved into a new to me house a few years ago and wanted the TV on another wall! No biggie, drill a hole and fish it through.... stepped bit it just perfectly next to the gas line IN the ceiling! Where I’m from that isn’t a thing! Heart raced for a week and smelled gas placebolicaly(?) it was a nightmare!

Gas line comes into the kitchen through the 3/4 in the ceiling.

Cable hole: Drilled and pulled


Gas line on same wall 4ft down!

 

Years ago a guy I worked with was doing some weekend bodywork on an old International Scout.
One Monday he came in ticked off -- figure the odds of a 1/8" drill bit hitting a brake line.
The next Monday he came in -- he drilled into the quarter panel -- and the gas tank directly behind it.
Finally, he managed to set the seat on fire with sparks from a grinder.
We called him a lot of things but never sharp...

 

I've never seen anything like that in my life. What is that used for?

 

No ones got the story of when they thought they were on mute but forgot for a split second they actually where while cussing out the VP on the other end?! nobody?!

 

Black cable is for TV, silver thingy is to turn the gas on/off.

 

This is a funny one...

One day I waited 12 hours at a train station to meet my dad for the first time...

 

12 hours isn’t that split second! That was just when he helped make you! That’s one is on your mom!

 

The split second was when I remembered I was supposed to go to the bus station.