Took a second! (Them Dumb Moments) Own it!

Ohh fuck! Train station.. bus station... same difference!

 

Fixed...

 

I think the palm reader scammed me for my money.

 

Sounds like a great opening to a country song, let me grab my pen

 

Palm readers do that! Ask Matt’s palm next time! 100% money back guaranteed!

 

"Honey, where did you put my sunglasses?!"

 

I never see his palm.. only his knuckles

 

Stop thinking small! We’re making a movie!

 

They give Oscar's for soundtracks..

 

When I wear my contacts I’m constantly trying to push up my glasses and feel like a dumbass! This is relatable AF!

 

Another funny one...


Went to pick up my mom from her third rehab...

Only to learn she had never tried drugs.

 

Who’s been looking for the 10mm for like 20 minutes and it’s in your pocket! No not that...

Grab a tool, set it down, can’t find said tool where you put it 20 seconds ago! Reorganize garage! Tool not found... next to hood on engine cover!

 

One year when the kids were young we packed up all the Christmas decorations for storage. It wasn’t long after that we couldn’t find the remote for the living room TV. We found it the next year.

 

I honestly did a test drive with the wrench still on my UCA nut. Didn't find it until I went to recheck torque...lol

 

I can't forget the first time we met.... but I will keep trying.

 

No jerky for you!

 

I can’t remember the first time we met, but I got another camo chair for sale! Cheap! $965.99

 

last week I was gapping my spark plugs during a staff meeting and was tapping the end with gapper when I realized I wasn't on mute.

 

i do alot of dumb stuff, like the time i was putting new lamp shades over the dining room table. its a big heavy table with leaves, so i used the dining chair to step up on the table to do the job.

There are 4 lamp shades, so i stepped back to see if they were level, forgetting that i was on the table and not the floor. stepped off the table, and down 1 foot to the side of the chair that I used to step up on. the chair went sideways, and my body went down quickly the opposite direction, slamming the side of my head hard into the dining table.

i was seeing stars and my ear hurt like a motherf'er. then i realized a stream of blood was coming down from behind my ear. basically split the back part of my ear, in the crease where it joins the head, almost off.