Truck and project status directly related to mood (Warning - includes feelings)

Feelings are best kept private, ffs. It's pretty screwey to try to discuss private matters on an internet forum, something a lonely basement dwelling Jabba The Gamer would routinely do, leading me to doubt the existence of said wife, and said projects.

If I'm wrong, and I might be, then you might want to lay off the soy, and get your testosterone level checked.

 

Yeah, lets repress those feelings, never talk about them because we’re men, because that’s healthy

 

Did you at least apologize to her?

If not,

 

It's healthy enough that we infested an entire planet with our spawn to the degree that our waste is choking us out and we're killing each other over really stupid differences. Do you really think "healthier" is the right choice under the circumstances?

Related News: they've found a cure for ebola... Great news for the emotional thinkers, but remember those yeast in HS biology, because we just made another giant leap toward "lifeless petri dish'.

 

?

 

Communication is the key. And it has to be honest, tell her how you feel and tell her why. Then listen.

Usually they just want you to listen, even though as men we immediately want to jump to action and "fix" everything.

Good luck, marriage is work.

 

^ain’t that the truth

 

I like this guy...

 

Communication with your wife is key to a successful marriage. 100%, spot-on.

Airing your differences in public is creepy, dissociative behavior and deserves nothing but .

 

Men and woman speak different languages, so don't even start with "communication" speech, lol.

 

This.

• Disclaimer: I'm just spitting stuff out based on my experiences. I don't have any professional or profound spiritual understanding. The only thing I know is that I don't know anything, so take this with a grain of salt. Maybe it'll serve you or someone else, or maybe I'll just get flamed
  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• Sit with and explore your feelings sometime. Maybe look in to meditation (10/10 would recommend learning to just sit still). Maybe take 3-5 minutes at the end of your day to reflect: What did I do today? What was good? Why? What was bad? Why?
• Emotions are natural, and losing control of them often stems from not having a healthy emotional outlet. Outbursts, like barking at your wife or seething over a botched fast food order, often hurt the people we are closest to the most, if not ultimately ourselves. There isn't much in the day-to-day that's worth losing your cool over, to be honest.
• You don't want to stop having emotions, but rather, you should learn to control them: Recognize a feeling, and sit with it if you have the opportunity. But if you're having a conversation or involved in something else that requires your attention, notice it & set it aside. (Compartmentalization.) It does not serve you at this time, so let it go. Come back to it later.
• Do not let feelings dictate or change your mood: Be in control of your self as much as possible, at any given moment.
• Mostly important of all, remember that you and your wife are in a (presumably) mutually-beneficial, cohesive relationship. Two members of the same team. Communicate with your wife/team.

And don't feel shame for mentioning it online. There is nothing inherently wrong with seeking insight, advice, or community. But there are places for that kind of conversation, and I don't know that a truck forum's general board is the right place to air that out, my dude.

 

Do feel shame. That's the only sane reaction for men who behave like women w/o some external hormone work e.g., soy which boosts estrogen.

At the same time, don't automatically assume that a gender label applies to you. Cognitive dissonance is rampant & normal for everyone.

 

How do you fix your dishwasher?
Put her over your knee.

 

Attitude is 100% choice. Took me a while to learn that one but it’s true. Make the right choice. Easy! (Not)

Edit: like I tell myself, don’t be an asshole.

 

Your feelings, and your wife's, are of no consequence to me

 

Good on you for noticing. Self reflection goes a long way to keep a relationship happy and to keep your priorities in check. The way your wife handled it also says a lot about her and how you two work together. On the one hand, she could have called you and asshole and potentially escalated the mood at home or on the other she could have easily recognized that you had some misplaced agitation and by simply asking, "what's wrong? you seem upset." could have brought you back down to earth and helped you realize what you were doing. You learn which works best with your partner as relationships go on. Sometimes being called an asshole makes you realize that you're wrong too so it's not always about verbal hand-holding. I know both ways work with me and my partner and after 14 years together we know how to read each other. We either give each other space or tell each other the hard truth to make each see what we're doing and how it affect the other person. Once you realize how your actions are misplaced, you can self regulate a lot more and really get down to why you're in a mood. It even sometimes helps redirect that energy back into your project and see it with fresh eyes.

For what it's worth, this thread should really be in the "health" section of the forum. It may be a joke to some people but as a site that has helped us with other aspects of living, it's actually good to open the door to talking about mental and emotional health. Some guys are just too cool to talk about this stuff.

 

A lot of it is just knowing yourself and her, and keeping the former in check and accepting the latter. For instance, my wife has a habit that comes and goes and has recently reappeared: when I am on the phone she comes up and low talks a question, forcing me to bring my call completely to a halt to answer her question (which invariably wasn't urgent). Here's the thing though: I have known her for 30 years and she has occasionally done this from the beginning. I used to get so annoyed by it but these days I'll just gently reminder her that she is doing it. Its who she is. Similarly, I recently stripped out a nut on the Taco and was so furious but had to get a grip and remind myself that a. this isn't event close to the dumbest thing ive ever done, b. I invariably figure out a solution, c. its just a truck and d. my family doesn't deserve the angry vibe, even if it isnt being directed at them.

Just my 2c.

 

That's a great story.

 

Or you could just avoid threads where this is happening. We all have choices.

 

^there was a disclaimer /in the title/