Whatever

Still hanging in there. It’s been extra traumatic for her. She hates being in the assisted living facility. She always called me to come do stuff for her. Now I can’t. They are running it like a prison almost to keep out the virus. Which is good...I guess.

 

After hours of soul searching, inner reflection and heavy drinking, I’ve concluded that had I been born a girl, I would be a major slut.
Like midriff t-shirt, no bra, cutoff jeans, jump in the shower with the football team slut. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Well damn, I'm sorry to hear. As long as it's actually protecting everyone then I guess it's a good thing but you do wonder when they'll decide to change things. It's been 5 months already so when do they decide to end the quarantine? I'm sure there is no right answer here but I'll still keep my fingers crossed you get to see her.

....and enjoy your cut off shorts. I'm sure that visual will be a shocker for her

 

Naked in a circle turning left

 

Howdy whateverererers.

 

Welcome to enlightenment. Here's your free coozie

 

Another oh master of the story

 

Good Morning Whatever's

 

Well we're not geezbo shopping, so no.

 

Random today:
My (empty) checkbook
Masks (only because required)
And one shoe

 

@StayinStock

I got mail!! In case I'm ever banned, I'll MacGyver my way back with the new patent pending handy dandy Whatever essential pack.

A flashlight to light the way, a lighter to keep me warm. Furniture movers because if you've never used these suckers than you should... The list goes on. And I totally keep zip ties in my glove box because you just should.

Not sure about the antler though but maybe Jean Luc will chew on it. If not, I'll fit it into the mantel decor.

Thank you to those who voted me least likely to get banned and Bob for my non-gender specific gift. I wasn't offended by anything

 

So, this rather hefty fella is walking down the street and sees a weight loss clinic. Outside is a sign:
Lose 10 pounds- $10.00
Lose 50 pounds- $50.00
Lose 100 pounds- $100.00
So he decided to give it a try and goes inside and pays the $10.00. He sits down and pretty soon a beautiful, young brunette in a bikini comes out with a sign. “If you catch me, my ass is yours”
He chases her for hours but can’t catch her. But sure enough, he had lost 10 pounds.
Next day he decided to spring for the $50.00 treatment.
A gorgeous, topless redhead comes out with a sign “If you catch me, my ass is yours”
For most of the day he chased her all over the building but she eluded him. But at the end of the day he had lost 50 pounds.
Next day he springs for the $100.00 treatment. A huge naked football player with a massive boner comes out with a sign. “If I catch you, your ass is mine”

 

Nice pens!!

 

Well, I thought that went without saying.

 

I think @MyWyfsRnnr is pointing out how hairy I am...

 

What a huge pile of shit!!