Whatever

Lobster ‘claw’

 

Had to go to the clothes rentin joint and try on wedding attire....I gotta say, I dont know how people wear them tight ass coats and those shitty pants and shoes everday.

 

What’s that smell in yer back yard bruh? You should prolly let me check it out for you to make sure it’s, uhhh, hmmm, well, er, what it is or appears to be! Take no chances. I’ll be the canary in that coal mine!

 

You talking bout my special mater’ plants ?

 

Ya right? It’s like being strangled and humiliated at the same time. Weddings should be shorts, flip-flops. Statement pocket square for flair. Ties suck. Tuxes suck. Wearing shit that somebody else wore a’fore you sucks. Hell, now that I think about it, weddings suck too!! Nuff said.

 

You are savage!!!!!
She a hybrid?

 

This will be my final wedding to attend.

 

shave my ass….. purple nerple!

 

You think you really said something thar didntcha? How many midgets did ewe spawn?….

 

Just the one officially.

 

This will be good for you. You just got wrung out for a fucking ice maker line. Fruit of yer loins getting hitched to a ‘well to do’ beauty, Pay the money for the rehearsal dinner. It’s a huge bargain!! Just patrol the open bar. That shit adds up quick. My alcohol tab exceeded the cost for the reception at my wedding. And that was at a swanky golf course! I invited all my wrenching boys from the Toyota shop I was working at. Fuckers grabbed the table next to the bar. Glad we didn’t have to pay it!

 

Well, they are rentals.

If you owns one, you take it to a good tailor.

"You stand natural. Let it all hang out. [To tailor] You, conceal it."



I'm not saying they're as comfortable as jammies. But they're more comfy than a rental.

 

And….
I can see how dowry’s were conceived!!!

 

Hang on. You paying butt trying to make it look ‘redneckish’? If so, I applaud you. Roll up the pant legs, festoon yer finest flops or Dudes, socks could make a real statement. You smellin’ what I’m a steppin’ in? It really doesn’t all have to ne aboot them!

 

When my youngest son got married we paid for the rehearsal dinner and the bar tab was about $1200. At the reception I was standing at the bar when our daughter in law’s mother went to pay the bar tab and overheard the bartender say, that’ll be $8400. I bout shit a brick and I wasn’t even paying for it.

 

Dayum! Our rehearsal was $1900 and the reception was about 6k!!! Fucking lushes I tell ya!