Whatever

I feel stupid. I just realized that’s Sam Elliot! Dude must abide.
Very impressive intro this morning Dave.

 

Legend has spoken!

 

Those never end well...

 

Dumbass

 

Hey look ma I blew off my junk!

Ma - That's good we don't need ya reproducing anyways.

 

Which reminds me...

Story time.
It's a little early for my moonshine story, but hey.
It's not much of a story anyway...

So a buddy when I was at college in VA brought a gallon of moonshine from home in a milk jug.
He said his uncle in Greene County was a moonshiner.

My roommate at the time was a real goofball, whom everybody called "Edly Headly"
He wanted some too.
My friend with the shine says: "Ever had moonshine before?"
Ed: "Nope"
Friend: "Let's go camping."

Well, at one point Edly Headly is dancing around the fire.
It was a really big fire...
(You can guess what's coming, can't you).

Edly Headly trips and falls smack in the fire.
We're stunned.
And too drunk to react.
Well, he pops right up on his feet and keeps on dancing.
He shoulda gone up like a torch.
He did singe off a lot of hair though...

BTW...he lasted precisely one semester.

 

"If shit goes south, are you ready?"

"I'm already in the south! Can't get much worse can it?"

 

Try using a dating site? Not tinder....

Smart guy.

Are you friends with any of these people still? Obviously not fucktard. Had friends like these that we dropped a long ass time ago.

And here I was thinking of alternate names.

Lucky you made it to a partial name. I was always auntie T.

I once stabbed my finger with a knife trying to get stale brownies out of a pan.

Story for another day, but we looked horrible as renters and were very up front with the guy about our situation. We ended up being his best renters for nearly 7 years till another story for later day. I believe we even got our full deposit back as well.

Now I'm a little jealous I didn't get the camera out but there's another super moon next month so maybe then.

Hopefully never to breed again

 

Got my license renewed. The dmv must run ads for the happiest people on earth cause that’s all I’ve ever ran across in there, happy people. I had just shaved my head, have a goatee that is brown as is the rest of my hair. The lady is going through the list of stuff and says “hair color, bald”. I said it’s brown. She said no, your bald. I said I can grow it out on the sides and the back. She said doesn’t matter, your bald. I said ok.

 

I’m south-er...
Loving your new avi bud!

 

Jeez.

Doesn't pay to argue with gubmint employees...

 

I hear bald is beautiful. Is it true?

 

Fo sho. I mean look at my eyebrows, they're brown

 

Did you offer to show her that the carpet didn’t match?!

 

Is that a force field around your head? That’s cool!

 

Should have said hold on and went to the restroom and brought a sample back.