Who has married into debt

.......jk, OP. Always remember, those who are married, and STAY married, generally outearn, outlive and are happier than those who do not

 

havent laughed that hard in a while! +1

 

this stuff sounds right^^^ . You did indeed marry into some debt. Help her out, but dont blow the nest egg. Ultimately talking, sharing and being on the same page about the situation will help avoid future conflict from unexpressed/suppressed feelings. You sound like you have your head straight about it.

 

^^Hairy Taco's right

As for me, I struggle with this a tad too...my gf/soon to be fiance is currently in med school and will graduate with 150k-200k debt (some of which her parents are fronting). I currently paying for house, truck, and student loans from getting my masters (although not much here thanks to mom and pops). I make plenty to pay all the bills and still save money. So essentially, I could support us after she graduates and all she needs to do is at least make enough money for her own student loans (and I'd help when the savings get big enough) until she gets that high paying doctor job, or if push comes to shove and she settles at RN, then that's no biggie either. Shit, she could just get a part time job to pay her loans and basically be my stay-at-home babe.

But yeah, I feel you OP, getting involved with someone with debt that hasn't settled into a career is scary as shit - but I know that we've talked about it and as long as the convo's are there, things will work out. I'm a strong believer that everything genuinely will work out with time and effort and it has thus far Just talk about it but don't bring it up in an angry manner or condescending (girls don't take too well to it lol)

 

^^ This!!!!

Doesn't sound like you need us. Money can big a big issue and has broken up loving relationships. Talk it out and and get on the same page. Setup goals together and work towards them.

It might help to take all the financial info, your's and her's, and sit down with a financial expert. They can help you decide what debt to payoff now and what debt to just work on.

 

My wife and I have three primary accounts. One for her, one for me, and one joint account. The mortgage, groceries, and whatever else that's a joint expense comes from the joint account. Everything else we buy on our own.
We each transfer some fixed, predetermined amount into our joint account each month that will cover all the needed expenses.
Its worked well for the last six years.
She doesn't give me bullshit when I buy sliders, OBA, and other taco gear, I don't give her shit when she buys a Gucci bag.
Once in a while we have to chip a little extra in for each other if we can't draw salary at work due to cash flow, but so what? We're married... give and take.
Oh, and we both work and don't have kids... so maybe take that into account when planning for yourself.

 

i know this is off topic but i have to respond -

Wow - worst statement ever ........ talking about the student loan debt is best debt you can carry. Its the worst.

Student loan debt is the worst debt ever - its government backed meaning you can file bankruptcy or refuse to pay but it will never go away. Once again its government backed. Long story short no one gets out of paying the governement and they will place a lien on your property and garnish wages to get it back. Dont let anyone else fool you - worst debt ever ........

Im in finance for a living - Im not being arrogant but know one can challenge what was stated.

 

OP, it's nothing to worry about. It's not like it's 3 years of law school ~$120K

 

Saying stuff like this to your spouse is saying why are you not on my page. Basically controlling what the other feels. This will lead to more fights and arguments about money.

Money is most likely the number one thing young couples fight about.

Sit down and talk but choose your words don't use being on same page. Because you have your ideas and she/he will have theirs. There is no middle page. Which leads to more fights about who should be on whos page. Compromise is key but hard to do with money.

 

My money is our money , our money is our money and her money is her money .

 

And how long after you were married did it take you to figure that out?

 

she better be good lookin

 

We've been together 25 years

Old news

 

We do that same thing. Groceries, mortgage, utilities, both car payments, and miscellaneous house shot comes out of the joint. Each paycheck we each out in a certain perfect of the monthly bills based off of our saleries

 

There is no such thing as good debt. All debt is bad. You do not know how bad it is until your working conditions change. Get laid off for 6 months? Guess what... those loans still have to be paid for.

That being said if there is one thing you NEED to do when entering a relationship is to evaluate finances BEFORE you get married. Here is an example:

You meet a girl who majored in sociology or early child education and about $60,000 in college debt. She works and bought a car for $25,000 through a car loan. 2 years later she has a bun in the oven and stopped working a couple of months before she is due. Upon delivering you guys decided that she will stay at home at least for a couple of months... and couple of months turn into a couple of years. Now in all that time... both car payments and college payments are due. With no additional income... who do you think will pay for it? What about baby expenses?

I am not saying that people should not marry other people with debt... all I am advising is that people need to be conscious of choices they make. If she is capable of paying her debt WITHOUT YOU then she is a good reliable economically educated person. If she wants to marry you so that YOU could pay her debt because she CANT... that is a totally different bowl of soup.

 

I disagree!

I borrow money and pay interest at 5%, I invest that borrowed money, and I earn a return of 15%. Pay back the loan and keep the profit. Businesses and individuals do this all the time!

 

yea, its sensitive. For me, its an interesting dilemma in that my wife has been married once already to a completely financial screwed up man that has literally dragged my wife's credit down the toilet, all on his own, NOTHING to do with her spending habits or anything. The the courts told him to remove her name from an auto loan, and he NEVER DID IT. For the 3 years i've known her, he has NEVER paid it on time, often going months without paying. I have my own suspician that he's so stupid that he would ruin his OWN credit just to spite her. As of last month, the truck loan issue is resolved, with exception of around a few thousand credit card debt he ofcouse never took her name off of. (when we are settled in, we have every intention on suing him).We are trying to pre-qualify to buy a house right now, and its turned in to a headache. I myself have paid off some debts and due to HER low score, ive had to purchase alot of things (new car loan for example) in my name, which has over-extended myself. I never bought in to the social lie that you HAVE to go to college, so ive been fortunate to not have any school debt.
I guess my advice is this - For me personally, i love her like crazy and its ALLLLLL worth it. You just have to decide what your thresh-hold is as far as how much of your funds you're willing to put out there for her. Every situation is different. good luck!!!

 

Does your finance job consist of counting change at McDonalds....first off we're not talking about not paying it back and filing bankruptcy, were talking about responsible people and their loans. Student loan is good debt...the companies or government are also way more willing to work with you in regards to pay back options if times do get tough and you have a problem repaying them. Read these...and the million other articles lately that have been publicized about the large amounts of student loans out there. No debt is good debt, but it sure is better than a credit card, unless they take your great advice to say fuck it and file bankruptcy. Genius plan

http://www.bankrate.com/finance/debt/good-debt-vs-bad-debt-1.aspx

And this

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/09/us-column-personalfinance-idUSBRE8480V020120509

And this

http://www.finweb.com/loans/good-debt-bad-debt.html