Wish and you shall receive!

I wish i had a bigger dick

 

Granted but then someone stole all your tools so you couldn't install it.



I wish someone would buy these sweet set of tools I just got.

Fail!

 

Granted. But now it drags on the floor and it gets rugburn.
I wish I was smart.

 

Granted but now a million people call you and asks you questions about Bilstein 5100.

I wish I owned a luxury house in Key West.

 

Granted. But now a hurricane swept it away and insurance paid you zero.
I wish I had a bugati veyron.

 

Granted, but during the first drive the floor mat catches the gas pedal and you wreck the car.

I wish I didnt have to write a 5 page essay tomorrow.

 

Granted but you didn't have to write it tomorrow because you ate bad shellfish and went into anaphylactic shock. You end up writing it from the hospital and it sucks.

I wish it was Friday

 

Granted but then there's a blizzard and your electricity is out.

I wish my stomache would go away.

 

granted
but the doctors had to surgically remove it

i wish i had somthing to eat

 

Granted-but it's only the parts of dead people laying around in your appartment.

I wish I could go back to bed.

 

granted but there are zombies now and they took your bed and all there is is a bed of nails

i wish i had some water

 

Granted, but it came from Mexico, you now have liquid stools.

I wish I didn't have to work nightshift tonight.

 

awww man
granted but you willl have to stay up all night anyway and they movwed you to day shift

i wish i had a g/f

 

Granted, but the first time you tried to make love, you found she was a hermaphrodite.

I wish I could find a job in maryland.

 

Granted, but it's my poo somewhere in the Boston Harbor


I wish I knew what I was dressing up for Halloween.

 

Granted- but it's being a fluffer for male porn stars.

I wish I had a better phone

Damnit!!! to slow!!!

 

thats ok ill just stick with b/js and h/js

granted and good news it pays 3000$ a night but your a stripper and need to get a sex change to get it

i wish i was out of school

 

Granted, you will be going as Adam from the bible. No leaf, to a Gay Pride convention. ( no disrespect to homosexuals)

I wish I were a cop.

Revoking my own wish.. To keep it flowing.

 

stolen post...to slow

 

Granted, but you dropped out, and are now a Pimp addicted to skittles and cocaine.

I wish I were happy.