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Would you be a stay at home Dad?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by DEEVON911, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:19 AM
    #21
    smyrly

    smyrly Member

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    I did it for as long as we could afford it. It was both the hardest and best time of my life. I wouldn't trade it for a minute.

    Be prepared though, it is a mothers world. I found it quite isolating, I had to bully my way into "mother's play groups" which I did, not for me to hang with mothers, but because my daughter should play with other kids.
     
  2. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:19 AM
    #22
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    Very True! And LOL Steelers fans are everywhere!! GO STEELERS!
     
  3. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:20 AM
    #23
    jester156

    jester156 Well-Known Member

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    my brother in law is an at home dad since my sister makes more than him and he actually preferred to stay home over her. Make sure you find some good parent groups to all your child to play with others their same age and meet new people. Its a wonderful opportunity and its also not forever, once they start school, you can look for PT work or just something to keep yourself busy.
     
  4. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:21 AM
    #24
    Rusty 06 4x4

    Rusty 06 4x4 NBHNC

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  5. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:27 AM
    #25
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    Thanks for that tip, this crossed my mind.
    Good point.

    Thank you, I can't watch it now at work, computer is too slow! But I'll check it out at home.
     
  6. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:27 AM
    #26
    MQQSE

    MQQSE Chief Pal Guy, GOB

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    Do it!

    Those five years before they start school (primary) are more formative than a lot of folks realize. It's important to raise your kids ... having someone else (daycare) spend more time with them than their parents doesn't cut it!

    I find it sad that the financial pressures in our culture push young parents to feel they both have to work.

    Sorry if I offend anyone, but that's my opinion. :crapstorm:
     
  7. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:29 AM
    #27
    jjew18

    jjew18 the Nightman cometh!

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    Added extra awesomeness to its original awesomeness.
    Its not as glamorous as you expect. I dread days that I have off with my 2 kids (3 yrs & 10 months), that shit is work. Love my kids to death and would never want anything else, but I come to work to relax. My wife would never admit it, but it drives her crazy at times.
     
  8. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:41 AM
    #28
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    I agree, its sad that most couples can't afford to live off of just one salary, with the cost of most things today.

    Ha Ha I understand. But my work is hardly relaxing. And I don't think its going to be easy either.
     
  9. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:49 AM
    #29
    MadMtnMikey

    MadMtnMikey Well-Known Member

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    I agree with this guy, but I also can see it being very rewarding, especially in the long run. I have a 7 month boy, and even when we're both at home it's still work... not sure how parents do it with a 2yr old and then a new born, that's insane !!!

    Income ratio wise, my wife and I are in the same boat. I work for the government, and I get a lot of overtime, so there are years my income matches or exceeds my wife's, sometimes not so much. She works and has a degree in the radiation oncology field. Her job is stable, secure, and a base salary just below six digits. We could surely manage on just her income alone if we wanted to, or god forbid my job got cut and we had to. I work my arse off 10 times harder than her to make my money, but it allows us to live how we want, do what we want. Just a little about me.

    There's no reason not to if you are able. Yes, you'll have to swallow a lot of pride, maybe you're used to that already. I know I am. Maybe it's just a self-esteem or paranoia thing, but even though I make good money I feel like a putz sometimes around my wife's coworkers, and like they look at me as a bum married to her for the money (not knowing I make more than her at times). Edit: I have no degree, just 12 years of experience in my field and 4 years prior military experience. Anyway, if yall have talked about it, and you're both good with it, household income will support it, go for it because there's certainly nothing bad to come from it otherwise. :thumbsup:
     
  10. Dec 29, 2011 at 6:56 AM
    #30
    Blackshirts

    Blackshirts Well-Known Member

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    Do it you lucky sob
     
  11. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:17 AM
    #31
    jjew18

    jjew18 the Nightman cometh!

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    Added extra awesomeness to its original awesomeness.
    Neither is mine at times, but still more relaxing!

    Very true, as worn out as I am at the end of the day, I love hanging with my boys and wouldn't change a thing. It only happens about once or twice a month. Now try flying by yourself with a toddler and an infant, that is a fine time. I am extremely thankful my boys are seasonsed travelers and are not your stereo typical crying and throw a fit on a plane kids. I think only once one of our kids was a nuisance (he was sick).

    DEEVON, with just one it is relatively easy, you get on their schedule and then you work yours around it (two is when it gets crazy, 2 different schedules for them and then trying to fit yours in). I think someone mentioned already, but I would utilize this time to take some classes to further your education so at some point when the kids don't need a stay at home mom/dad you have a degree or skill set that you can find a job that helps secure the future. We discussed exactly what you are thinking when we had our second. My wife made a bit more than I and daycare for 2 would be too ridiculous to justify. When we weighed the factors ($, job satisfaction, daycare, etc.), I have a great job that paid less, but she absolutely hated her job, and wanted to be home with kids. Long story short, we took the pay cut and we are both happier'less stressed.
     
  12. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:24 AM
    #32
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    I got ya on that! But for the most part I don't care what people think. Shit, my buddies at work kid me all the time about her making more than me! But they are jealous! Plus I have the satisfaction that I could kick thier ass any day! Not because I'm some sort of tough guy, but because they are older and slower! I'm younger and faster! And I remind them of that! :D

    :laugh:
     
  13. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:25 AM
    #33
    MightyMouse-SCT

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    Hell no . I believe MEN should work .
     
  14. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:33 AM
    #34
    MadMtnMikey

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    Hahaha, I hear ya about the old guys, plenty of those where I work.

    I'll definitely reinforce what others have said about continuing education. I'm not going to preach, you're the same age as me, so you know full well. I was lucky when I exited the military and landed myself into a field that pays well with no degree. But I'll remind you, I have nothing to fall back on if defense cuts take my job away (doubtful to happen but possible). I myself have been struggling to do online courses and hack away at getting an engineering degree.

    In my opinion this should be your second highest priority next to caring for the kids.
     
  15. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:34 AM
    #35
    2011supercoma

    2011supercoma Well-Known Member

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    im very fortunate with my work schedule. i work as a capt on the mississippi river, so im on the boat for a week and home for a week. the weeks im home i have custody of my 2 yr old girl. so i know how that time together is very important and is fun.

    recently tho i had to put her in daycare so i can work pt on my weeks off, but im also lucky because its my aunts daycare, so its family. she also worked for the elementary school for 20 yrs so she knows how to take care of my daughter and its sweet to come home and shes learned how to sing twinkle twinkle lil star. :)) plus my lil girl is getting used to being around other kids so when she strarts school it wont be a big shock to her, and she plays better with other kids now thatshes been goint there. my pt job is only a morning gig, so by 1 i have my baby with me again and then were off to the playground or the mall.
     
  16. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:35 AM
    #36
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    Well thats part of the reason I am seriously thinking about this. My job has become something I hate anymore. I used to enjoy it, but its turned into more about money and worrying about lawsuits. Sad, what this job here has become.

    Anyway, I always have my sister-in-law to ask advise too. She has a Phd in biology, but decided to stay home with the kids. Her and her husband have a 2yo and now about 3 month old. So I know she has it tough. But I know I could always ask her anything. That is a bonus too.
     
  17. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:35 AM
    #37
    jeremy_283

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    YOU NEED TO WORK

    I suppose it's reasonable financially for you to be the stay at home parent but after a certain amount of time you definently need to get back out and work. God forbid your wifes dies, do you have a career? How easy will it be able for you to find a good job again to support your family when the last job you held was 5+ years ago?

    Don't be lazy.
     
  18. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:36 AM
    #38
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    But Why?
     
  19. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:36 AM
    #39
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 [OP] Semi-pro

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    Come up with a better argumnet than don't be lazy. I'm hardly lazy.
     
  20. Dec 29, 2011 at 7:37 AM
    #40
    Aw9d

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    I told my wife the day she makes enough money for me to be a stay at home dad she can have a kid. I'd love to be a stay at home dad, I hate leaving my house anyways.
     
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