Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

Great tattoo!

 

You are correct. You are not alone I promise. Post anytime you like or send PM's. I think everyone that posts in here is very positive and that just helps reinforce how good the group of people are here on TW.

Sobriety is a true lifestyle change (at least it was for me). But it is a change for the better. Not only for yourself but for everyone that loves and counts on you. Keep up the good work. Support is always a keyboard away.

 

Thanks you so much! I will try to post or pm. Anyone can pm me too!!
I do go to meetings a couple of times a week so I got my medallion on Tuesday not for myself but to show the program works ya know?
A new person was there who had one hour & got his silver chip. It was certainly humbling to know that feeling he was going through.
That is what it is about. Also seeing that made me recognize how grateful I am.
Ready to head for the weekend. I do mind them anymore Chat soon.

 

OMW to a meeting

 

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I work (as a volunteer) mostly with military veterans who have PTSD from their combat activities. I try to help them navigate the difficult VA disability system ... have also worked with several LEO's to get their disability retirements.

Being a firefighter ... LEO ... military under certain conditions does contribute to PTSD in a major way.

PTSD is an unfortunate problem suffered by those who have been very close to or in the center of the difficult actions of their employments duties.

 

Very true. It's how you decide to handle those situations that have a good or bad outcome. I obviously didn't handle mine very well.

 

Awesome congratulations on good work with your life! Thank you for sharing a very personal story. Have a friend (fred) that has jumped the track and the wheels are coming off! I've known him 25+yrs as a co worker, friend and decent fun person who is very beloved by many. In the past few years he has been abusing pills & alcohol. now, He is hanging out with the homeless not working and playing with meth, heroin & really just anything. His partner works the deli at big grocer and is holding it together as best he can but his health is very compromised COPD and yesterday in ER diagnosis is infection in lung, they are getting behind in payments and he is stressed out to the max, hanging by a thread.
fred's trigger was a "move"! They had been in a flat 20 years, it got sold and was not going to be a rental, he is a hoarder of collectibles and shut down when faced with downsizing. His partner and a couple of good friends made the entire "move" without any assistance at all from fred.. It just about did the partner in! They are nearing 60 & have been a couple since High School. The partner is so ill, tired & distraught that he is planning to divorce him just to survive. It is a bad situation, now we are concerned that fred will succumb to death because of the dangerous path he is careening down. We work in theatre wardrobe.. fred is a well known "Hair" person, It is a very stressful job behind the scenes... Not stressful like you wonderful Firemen and responders... different but difficult and precise and fast in the dark with lots of folks wanting your job, kinda stress.
At our wits end and seriously planning an intervention. BUT.. we 4 friends have never done such personal thing to anyone.. it feels like sticking your nose in to someone else' business and we do not want to presume that intimacy. Also we work in theatre and have to be careful not to get caught in the "drama" ourselves, like making too much of something or thinking that we have a part that we don't. We truly love both of these guys and want badly to do something that will help.. I don't want to not do something but at the same time do not want to make things worse by alienating fred or causing him to blow his head off either! What to do? If it were me I would be so angry with people sticking their nose in my business & so embarrassed I would shrink away and never talk to them again..
How would you have felt if friends had intervened? I don't think it is gonna have a good effect. and don't want to do it.. I would tho if it would help.. how to know????? hoping to entice him to rehab facility?? any words of advice? Blessings to you and thank you for the intense work you do.

 

First off let me say that I'm truly sorry you and the people that you are close to are having to go through all of this.

You asked if an intervention would have helped me when I was going through all my issues and that is a very good question and a very valid question. Thinking about it for a bit I'd have to say that I doubt it. My situation is a bit different than Fred's though they both lead to the same issues so that isn't any different. The one constant that I have found throughout all of this is that the person that is suffering these issues has to want to make a change. If they don't want to make a change there really isn't anything that "you" can do until they do.

I am no professional when it comes to matters like these so I tend to shy away from giving advice. Especially when I only know a fraction of the story and underlying issues that caused a person to choose this path. That said, I suppose you have to ask the question: "Is an intervention going to make it worse than it already is?" Whatever answer you come up with I think would guide you on your course of action.

From the outside looking in and only knowing the story that you posted I think a lot of attention needs to go to his partner. It sounds like he needs as much support as you can give him during this time. Having an addict (whether it be a friend or family member) is always going to be hard on the ones that they love. I know I put mine through hell, especially toward the end. His partner, your friend, needs a lot of support during this time. It's sad to see when two people have been together for so long and something like this happens. But until Fred decides to make a change I would concentrate a lot of my efforts toward his partner as a friend. Being there for someone is great medicine in itself. It's not a cure all by any means but it makes it more bearable.

I hope Fred can come to realize the issues he has and is able to deal with those issues. It is a hard climb back out of that pit but it is doable. He just has to want to make that change or be forced into that change like I was.

I wish I could give better advice but I'm no counselor. I'm just someone that has seen the other side and I can tell you the view from that side of the fence isn't pretty. I hope things get better. You can always PM me if you need to vent or whatever. I'll always answer.

 

Dear Kind Sir, The Words of Deep Wisdom you have shared, have helped greatly! I am relieved because I felt the same regarding an intervention and will center my efforts of being a strong friend for his mate. That approach seems to be the most peaceful and strengthening. I am new to this "tacoma world" forum stuff and did not realize you had answered me until I was looking in my "junk" folder in e'mail program. I apologize for the delay in THANKING You for your reply & commending you on your efforts to alleve suffering. Thank-you from my heart. I hope to converse with you in the future... my absolute best to you! and at your service if ever needed.

 

No problem. If you need to pm me please feel free to do so. I wish you well.

 

Hey Craig, thought of you the other day. Was cleaning and touching up rust under the truck for the last two days. Was thinking "how the hell does he do it?"

 

Lol... I don't anymore since I sold the truck. Had full intentions of buying the Jaguar Ftype but due to my wife's recent cancer scare I'm rethinking my priorities at the moment. Once things settle down here I still might.

I will tell you cleaning was a full days work lol

 

I just saw that you sold the truck.
Cancer scare?? What? Wow. Hope all is okay.

 

Yeah. It started off with what she thought was simple acid reflux and turned into something much worse fast. Ended up having a mass in the center of her chest. Did a biopsy after about two months of waiting (needless to say I didn't get much sleep) but everything came back benign. She still has to go in every six months to be scoped because it can still turn into cancer. But we caught it early and no cancer cells. They have her on two or three different types of meds right now to control it.

Scary stuff

 

Wow.....so glad that it was caught early.
Wishing her, you and your family all the best Craig.

 

Thanks brother!

 

WOW, Sending continued healing vibes for your wife, what a scare oh my gosh, Craig!!
I didn't realize you had sold your truck either. I post sporadically & didn't realize this had happen.

 

Here is the thread

 

I posted in the thread you linked plus just wanted to say gosh it breaks my heart when I hear stories like yours and your wife.
I don't understand why this stuff happens and I know it is bigger than me. All I can do is be of service and show love/kindness.
My prayers are for strength for your family amen.