Taco does magic?

Gold digger? It's a fucking Japanese midsize pickup, not a Mercedes.

 

It's 'new' and not 'used'. That means people have money if you are in America.

 

Debateable.

 

Been there done that, 3 times.

Lmao OP, have at it one more time! Won't hurt

 

Haha true ! But a brand new truck still looks nice man

 

Finally, someone besides me thinking this out loud.

If a woman bangs a dude over a midsize truck that costs less than the average new car price, imagine what kind of fun you could have with an actual nice car.

Time to rent an Avalon and get the butt hole, OP.

 

She may be doing ok after you, she'd be walking funny after I finished with her!

 

Also.. DCSBPRERUNNERFTMFW

Chicks dig 'em.

 

I think it is more just the "ooooh, shiny thing!" Which could be trouble.

But maybe it was the enourmous, bulging, non-functional hood scoop that got her attention?

 

OP has no hood scoop, Dick.

 

I just wanted an excuse to say nonfuctioning bulge, pooprunner

 

I was thinking the same thing, then I though that this story sets in a trailer park setting.

 

There should be no need to get her drunk and make her walk home. The OP did his deed sober.

 

Ha! TacoBunnies!

 

No that's because I'm 2.7 under the hood, but 3.9 under the blankets.

 

Or more debt

 

I would never take advantage of an inebriated woman... I was gonna take one of her shoes. You walk funny with just one!

 

FIFY for those that feel like TL;DR

 

It may be short, but at least it's not to far around

The other thing I was going to say. Just based on the reality of demographics, many of the blingy cars I see make me think "unaffordable debt or lease, living beyond their means..."

But not you OP. We all know it's your shiny massive bulge that made this happen.