This will be my first Toyota - have not bought a car in almost 10 years

It's unfortunate that for every "banned" educated buyer there are 3 uninformed buyers right behind them that keep these dealers in business. That's why they tell you to go spit, because they only want the fools who pay MSRP and all the shady fees, they take the low trade in offer and agree to a high finance rate. You've got to find a dealer that caters to both groups. Then you'll appreciate the guy who pays full price because it allows the dealer to give you a discount because he already made his money off the "other" guy.