Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

I heard that.. Nobody's perfect
Click to expand...

Lol. That's right pad lock nipples.....

Lurkin · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

Munchy time ?
Click to expand...

Smokey, happy, hungry... I've heard that's how it works, but I don't really remember.

13SilverStreakTRD · Nov 24, 2015

Came out good, tenderloin and a rack of baby back ribs, used some pecan wood for flavor.

How about yours?

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

13SilverStreakTRD said: ↑

Came out good, tenderloin and a rack of baby back ribs, used some pecan wood for flavor.

How about yours?
Click to expand...

I got drunk before anything started lol.

13SilverStreakTRD · Nov 24, 2015

357sig said: ↑

I got drunk before anything started lol.
Click to expand...

not supposed to start drinking until after the fire is started lol

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

13SilverStreakTRD said: ↑

not supposed to start drinking until after the fire is started lol
Click to expand...

I know that now! Lol

13SilverStreakTRD · Nov 24, 2015

Try again and cook this for Thanksgiving lol

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...pus--served-plate-complete-Nazi-swastika.html

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

13SilverStreakTRD said: ↑

Try again and cook this for Thanksgiving lol

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...pus--served-plate-complete-Nazi-swastika.html
Click to expand...

I would eat that !

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

Would!
Click to expand...

After hearing about the pad lock nipples. I wouldn't question you any more

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

lol, and that's just the beginning
Click to expand...

Story time! !

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

Not too much to go into really - did the gauges briefly - took them to 1 inch and removed to close up holes, lots of tatts, had a bunch of branding done, been tazed pretty much everywhere I can think of, you know - the usual lol
Click to expand...

Would make great bed time stories for the kids lol

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

Some of my hardest laughing moments in life involved my friend and I , lots of alcohol, and a taser .. I drew the line at taking one to a filling in my tooth
Click to expand...

That's only because you didn't have enough alcohol in your system yet

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

Warning labels on taser just said to keep out of children reach. Not to keep out of drunk idiots reach lol

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

We can sue and see how much money we can milk out of them

Lurkin · Nov 24, 2015

357sig said: ↑

We can sue and see how much money we can milk out of them
Click to expand...

"WE" get to taze you first!! And must be video'd, for evidence of course.

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

Lurkin said: ↑

"WE" get to taze you first!! And must be video'd, for evidence of course.
Click to expand...

No, pad lock nipples is half brain dead from his ordeal. He is prime example

357sig · Nov 24, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

Must read this:

Dear Friends,

My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!" Well, I have outdone myself once again. No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a LifeTime movie in the near future. Here goes.

Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out—way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!!

Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time. . .

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!"

Friggin' way—trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight—always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY SHIT!

DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: if you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-BITCH that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure.

Film at eleven....
Click to expand...

I'm dieing right now

13SilverStreakTRD · Nov 24, 2015

$15k up for grabs from the FBI

richardbui23 · Nov 24, 2015

13SilverStreakTRD said: ↑

$15k up for grabs from the FBI

Click to expand...

My buddy told me about this. He quit loomis few months back and he kept saying how Houston was short people because of this. They were offering people an addition 2k for the week if they volunteered to go down there using vacation time

richardbui23 · Nov 24, 2015

Wheel bearing getting real bad...

Log in or Sign up

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#99401
357sig Donut king

#99402
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99403
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99404
357sig Donut king

#99405
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99406
357sig Donut king

#99407
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99408
357sig Donut king

#99409
357sig Donut king

#99410
357sig Donut king

#99411
357sig Donut king

#99412
357sig Donut king

#99413
357sig Donut king

#99414
357sig Donut king

#99415
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99416
357sig Donut king

#99417
357sig Donut king

#99418
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99419
richardbui23 That guy

#99420
richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in

Log in or Sign up

Useful Searches

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#99401 357sig Donut king

#99402 Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99403 13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99404 357sig Donut king

#99405 13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99406 357sig Donut king

#99407 13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99408 357sig Donut king

#99409 357sig Donut king

#99410 357sig Donut king

#99411 357sig Donut king

#99412 357sig Donut king

#99413 357sig Donut king

#99414 357sig Donut king

#99415 Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99416 357sig Donut king

#99417 357sig Donut king

#99418 13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99419 richardbui23 That guy

#99420 richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Texas Thread: Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#99401
357sig Donut king

#99402
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99403
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99404
357sig Donut king

#99405
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99406
357sig Donut king

#99407
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99408
357sig Donut king

#99409
357sig Donut king

#99410
357sig Donut king

#99411
357sig Donut king

#99412
357sig Donut king

#99413
357sig Donut king

#99414
357sig Donut king

#99415
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#99416
357sig Donut king

#99417
357sig Donut king

#99418
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#99419
richardbui23 That guy

#99420
richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in