Which comes first? Sliders or skid plates?

You must be ugly as shit cuz strippers fucking love me. Maybe they just like my sliders...

 

You should be careful. Stiletto heels and sliders are a dangerous combination.

I need to admit something. I used to have sliders on my truck, wear cologne and leather jackets and carry a Zippo. I put oils and mousses in my hair and went to tanning booths all the time. One night I was at the Alaskan Bush Company and had given a young lady I'll call "Trixie" most of my recent bonus (I sold waterbeds and had set the regional sales record three quarters in a row, so this was quite a chunk of change). Trixie was a premed, studying to be a neurosurgeon, and both her parents suffered from crippling fibromyalgia and that's the only reason she worked as a dancer, so she could pay for their OxyContin. Anyway, I had just given her the last of my hundreds and in a fit of desperation I told her I had an eight ball of coke back at my apartment (this was not true--I had a real eight ball I had once stolen from a pool hall, but my plan was to crush some aspirin up in the bathroom and hope she didn't notice). So we went out at the end of her shift and she totally freaked out when she saw my truck. "What are those awesome metal tubes there on the sides?" I explained that they were protection for off road use, though I'd never been off road at that time. Trixie was a little tipsy, so when she tried to get in she used the slider as a step. Her heel got wedged in the gap and she fell, fracturing her humerus (which wasn't funny at all). She couldn't dance any more and never went to med school (she actually got hooked on her parents' Oxys because of the fracture).

Trixie sued me, but we settled out of court. I gave her the sliders (she actually loved them and they look darn good welded up to her Eclipse!) and paid for her rehab and child care while she was gone (the kid wasn't mine, by the way, her ex is a total, well never mind). As it turned out she never even went to rehab. She was flying down to Nevada and working as a sex worker.

I cried when they pulled the sliders off, but grew up. After the dust settled I donated my cologne to the homeless to improve their scent, dropped the leather jackets at the Goodwill, and gave my Zippo to a pizza delivery guy. The next morning I woke up, ate 8 eggs and a half pound of bacon, went out and chopped three cords of wood (which was odd as I lived in an apartment with electric heat and no fireplace) and bought a set of skid plates. I've never looked back.

Next time buy skids first.

 

^^^^^ THAT was an enjoyable post

 

Lol I have a shirt from the ABC. Got it from my girlfriends father when we were in Anchorage oddly enough...

 

asshat...

 

THIS. Although when I go places(unintentional toyota pun), I practically park in the next county

 

Go with skids, reason is because drivetrain and steering are more important than the rockers. If it's lifted then sliders are not a necessity until you get into harder rocky sections.

 

I nominate this for post of the year. Bravo sir.

 

You are an excellent addition to TW. Way to come in strong!!

 

First thing I did was transfer case skid. Then I did the ifs and transmission at the same time. Sliders were last.