4x4 actuator troubles

Truck is an 05 4x4...

I was in ocotillo over saturday night and 4x4 was working fine. Later into the night the 4hi light just continues to flash and it is not engaging or disengaging.

To get the truck to engage 4x, I have to turn it off then turn the selector to 4hi and turn the truck back on and I can hear it switch to 4hi. Same to go back to 2x.

When driving home in 2wd, the 4hi light continues flashing and when I accelerate I can hear a relay or something near the glove compartment on the passenger side clicking like it wants to kick it over into 4hi but nothings happening.

I cleaned the truck when I got home and got underneath and inpected the 4x4 actuator at the front diff and and t-case. Nothings damaged and I unplugged the electrical connections and reset my battery but it hasnt fixed anything.

Which actuator should I focus on and what might I do to correct it?
Would this be my best bet?
http://www.tacomaworld.com/forum/2nd-gen-tacomas/263525-how-trouble-shoot-4x4-actuator.html

thanks!