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And then the fight started.....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by maricopa_taco, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. Jan 23, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    maricopa_taco [OP] Well-Known Member

    Oct 28, 2008
    Maricopa, AZ
    07 Prerunner
    6 inch procomp lift, 315/70/17 BFGs AT, Eagle Alloys, Carr step, TRD exhaust
    :D Some jokes i received in an email....

    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
    in bed. I turned to her and said,

    "Do you want to have sex?"

    "No," she answered.

    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

    And then the fight started....


    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social

    The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify
    my age.

    I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

    I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
    come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.'

    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.'

    And she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
    Social Security office.

    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
    Disability, too.'

    And then the fight started.....


    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
    the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

    I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
    torrential downpour.

    The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on
    the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
    whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

    My loving wife of ten years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband
    is out fishing in that?'

    And that's how the fight started ...


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
    kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
    nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

    'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
    drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
    hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
    that long?'

    And then the fight started.....


    I rear-ended a car this morning.

    So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
    of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
    seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe i t.... He was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
    'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    And then the fight started.....


    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
    order first.

    'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And then the fight started.....


    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

    She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

    'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

    And then the fight started.....
  2. Jan 23, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    SocalMan22 Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2007
    First Name:
    06 PreRunner Dbl Cab
    What Mods!
    I got this email funny as hell.
  3. Jan 23, 2009 at 8:26 AM

    Dilsky There go my nipples again!

    Oct 17, 2008
    First Name:
    Edmonton AB
    07 TRD Sport
    2.5" Fox Extendable Coilovers, LR UCAs, Agri-Cover Larado soft top, Pop'n Lock, 48" Hi-Lift Jack, 20" Incubus Offroad rims
    Haha nice play my friend nice play!

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