Anxiety / Depression

As a Marine veteran who been thru combat, deployed 2x to Iraq, 1x 31st MEU, 1x to Afgan, I got out in 2013 and on my last deployment, we all went to see the "wizard". To assess how we were doing mentally, of course everyone including myself "fine" being the stereotypical macho type.

Moved from Southern California to Western Wisconsin in 2016, where we lived with my wife's sister for a while, jobless and no income. Things looked crappy, then finally went to the VA to get help. Gotten a disability rating helped with money, but more importantly gotten officially diagnosed with PTSD, even though I suspected it for a while. Depression and anxiety reared their ugly heads.

The psychiatrist who I spoke with said it was normal for guys who deployed, specially infantry like myself to have PTSD. I described some of the symptoms I had and he also said I had "hyper vigilance" aka always being on guard. Going with that I have trouble being able to relax or enjoy myself. I see the world "half empty" pessimistic and always focus on the bad things verus enjoying the good things.

My wife and I gotten into a huge fight last week, and I finally "woke up" after so many years being emotionally empty and detached to her for the past several years.

Called the VA to get an appointment for my blood lab/annual visit to talk to my provider, then asked to talk to mental health. Orginally my appoint was for Oct 17, but when I mentioned mental health, another employee was able to switch it out to today.

So I am literally sitting in the waiting room, typing this up, when I should of gotten help years ago, versus putting it off and possibly ending my marriage/life.

My wife and daughter are the reason I don't want to lose and have the will to fight, but given my symptoms, I don't want to accept it as my fault and try to blame others, or find reasons to get mad and get depressed.

But I'm finally seeking out the help and hope it does good.

 

Thoughts and prayers Mike.
Glad to read that your getting help.

 

Thank you for sharing Mike......so glad to see that you still continue to fight for yourself. Keep in mind that even though this the first step, and you still have work to do, that if you have even a small negative experience with a therapist, keep looking until you find one that will click with you. Thank you for your service and your continuing courage.

 

I know it's going to be a super long and bumpy road, but it's either that or a ditch where all will be lost....

 

If you ever need any help with some things that you can work at home, let me know. I am Psychologist that helps out a lot of the TW community when they need it. Keep in mind that all conversations do stay strictly confidential. It maybe be raining now but there are sunnier days ahead.

 

Good luck, Man. We're with you.

And thanks for your service.

 

Those are some tough things to experience my man, I'm sorry to hear this. If you are at all interested in some intensive therapy. The University of Utah offers a very intensive, 2 week program for combat veterans and has amazing results. It is through their National Center for Veteran Studies. They fly you out, put you in a hotel and transportation on their dime. They also do it at Park City mountain Resort. If you are interested, PM and I'll give you the details.

 

Thread is dead asf, if someone wants someone to talk to send me a pm and I will talk 24/7 about this shit.

 

Its not dead.....just in dormant with all of the craziness going on in the world. Where have you been? Your name was crossed out for a while....

 

What's on your mind, Bro? We're all friends here.

 

Everyone doing OK? Anyone need to talk about it?

 

Just stumbled on to this thread, my gf apparently suffers from bipolar depression. I have only dated her for a little over 2 months. Im not sure if i should bail now before it gets harder. She wants to move to new york and expects me to uproot everything and go. I havent even known her for that long to even entertain that idea. Problem is she tells me her mental health is suffering here and if she doesnt move to be close to the mother im gonna find her dead. Im not sure what to do when she says shit like this. Also i realized when shes in a depressed mood and says some mean shit, a few hours later its like everything is fine. I have never dealt with anyone like this before. Tough spot i know i should leave however i kinda care about her. I dont know where to begin to even try to help if i even can????

 

Even if you do decide to break it off don’t do it all of a sudden. Things like this are definitely treatable so if you “kinda care about her” don’t make a decision on a whim. PM the OP and see what he says.

 

If you would like to talk for some perspective, just shoot me a pm.

 

My wife has anxiety/depression/bipolar
I would never tell you to leave herjust because of it, but realllllly think about how much you like this girl before getting too committed and moving across country with her. I love my wife to death, but it is absolute hell trying to support her sometimes. Not something I would chose to do again

 

Whatever you do, if you care about her at all do not just dump her cold turkey. Even if you think a long-term relationship is not in the cards, don't bail on her at a time like this.

Is she receptive to the idea of getting some counseling? If so then try to gently persuade her to do so.

You said that she said you might find her dead one day. If she starts talking seriously about that, call an ambulance/police or at least call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, on her behalf. Yeah, she might hate you for that in the short run but too bad.

How long has this been going on?

 

ugh, I need a bit of help
My little sister is almost 16, over the summer she's been in and out of the mental hospital. I don't live close by, but I'm on her "safety plan" so when she gets suicidal, she's supposed to call me.
I know she tells my mom things asking her to "let her go" and kind of referencing suicide. I'm afraid my mother isn't keeping the house safe enough for her either. To set the stage a bit, I've never lived there, I used to spend summers there, now I go up about once a year.
She called me tonight telling me she wants to be cremated, talking about suicide, crying, telling me she wants to do drugs, hurt herself, all that jazz.
I had really bad depression issues at her age, but I never told anyone when I was suicidal or my plans or anything like that.

I guess what I'm asking is what the hell do I say? I feel as useless as the suicide hotline over here.
I know not being in school or having a social life is taking a toll, so I offered that we video chat every now and again and just hang out, paint, listen to music, rather than only talking when she's down and under. She doesn't have many hobbies which doesn't help. I just don't know what to do. My best friend committed suicide when we were 17 and I don't know if I can do that again, especially with family. Just really sucks I've never been there much physically really.

I just have to say, I really hate the glorification of mental illness thats been going on the past few years. I'm only 22, so I was in high school when that became really popular. Makes things so confusing.

 

Sounds like you’re in a tough position. Not being at home and with a bit of an age gap between the two of you can make things more difficult. I don’t have any real good advice. I’d just say maybe call a few times a week to check in and meet up when you can. Try to help her find something she is interested in, there’s gotta be something?! Think of something new and cool you both can do together as an experience? A restaurant, an exhibit, a show? (If possible, Fuck This Covid Shit!) Even if it’s small and even if you can’t make it happen for a while, let her know it’s going down and then make it happen when you can. Don’t flake. A lot of depressed people have a hard time reaching out to others although they may want to. So even if she doesn’t answer your calls/text just seeing that you called or sent/left a message may help. Shit, maybe even pop in unannounced! If she calls you, do your best to answer even if it’s at a bad time or you feel like you can’t deal with it in that moment, It may make a difference, it also may not. Suicide is traumatic and The impact is long lasting, one of my best friends also killed himself many years ago and I still have a hard time with it to this day.

Wishing you and your sister the best.

and yeah that show is fucked along with so many other things. I had a pretty hard time growing up. It’s gotta be extra dreadful, stressful and hard growing up these days.

 

I've been trying to keep up with her as much as I can, seems to help sometimes, other times she just seems pretty emotionless. Like I said, I get it, I've been there, half the time I am there, I just have absolutely no clue what to say.
I personally like to be completely alone when I'm depressed. I hate people seeing my manic episodes; they're embarrassing. Idk, I just feel patronized when people are around me and THEY don't know what to say. I just kinda gotta work through shit myself, there are only maybe a few times things got scary enough for me to ask for help.
They live 10 hours away, and I'm disabled, so traveling is really difficult. I popped up there a month ago as a surprise and she ended up in the hospital while I was there. That didn't help her situation...
She mostly likes surfing the internet really, watching videos and the like but she has restricted internet access right now. She paints sometimes, I bought her stuff a few years ago, she just doesn't seem to have the drive to do things, which I understand. I try to offer advice on how I keep myself from stewing in my own destructive thoughts, but advice is just advice, I know half the time I roll my eyes at the advice I get, especially when I was a bit younger.
Totally agree on the flake thing, people flaking really gets to me. She knows I keep my phone around, and I never miss anything from her, so she knows I'm always available.

Thank you for the advice and well wishes, really appreciate it! I just can't think of anything anyone could've or could even now say to my depressed self to really make me feel better or want to do anything. Just hard to see my sister grow into similar mental states. She does seem really socially motivated though, so the sooner the big roni is over the better; I think she will improve when she can go back to school.

 

Hi Cayleigh, If you would like to talk about this a little further, we can talk this offline and go over the phone. It might be a little easier than the waiting back and forth with a response on this thread. I will pm you.