Anxiety / Depression

What do you say? Just let her know your there for her, offering painting and video chat like you mentioned can be HUGE! That’s a great start.

 

If I were you, I'd call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. It's not just for suicidal people; they can give you advice as to what to say, where to turn. They might even be able to put you in touch with some Community Outreach programs in her area.

At least that might be good place to start. Once you get some leads and get pointed in the right direction you can help her better.

How far away do you live from her?

Has she seen a doctor and is she on any medications?

Are you male or female?

 

She's already in a few different programs, but I think the school counselor kinda dropped her. She would be going to an outpatient program 5 hours a day if she lived closer to one of the cities that's part of the network her old mental hospital was in. Her last stay was supposed to be in a residential program for 4-6 weeks, but 3 days in she threatened to beat her roommate up, so they sent her back to inpatient and the other hospitals in the northern midwest don't want to take her now.

I'm 10 hours away.

She has a therapist, and sees her normal PCP for medications. She started about a year ago on 25mg Zoloft and the doctor moved her up to 100mg really quick. The doctor told my mother that 200mg is the max, but as a lead pharm tech I never saw anyone over 100mg. I also think Zoloft is kinda a weird one to start with, but I'm not a physician, I only know a tad about pharmacology. I believe she's on 40mg of prozac now. They decided to put her on birth control around her first stent in the mental hospital, I'm sure that didn't help either. I'm sure there's more benefit over consequence there though. Those are her only prescriptions, everything else is locked up now excluding my brother's seizure meds.

I am female

 

I'm not a doctor either, but I can tell you I didn't do well on Zoloft, but that was years ago.

Hindsight tells me I probably had some kind of depressive illness way back in childhood but it wasn't formally diagnosed until 1994. I'm 62 now so that means I've been on various sundry meds for 26 years. Right now I'm on Cymbalta, Wellbutrin and Oxcarbazepine which seem to be doing the trick.

Is she diligent about taking her meds? What is her home life like? Environmental situations can be a big factor. Is it possible she could come live with you?

Maybe it's time for a medicine change up?

Just throwing out ideas here......

 

Thread Revival.
Mental health sucks.
Yesterday was a great day today thoughts of suicide good times. Mind racing is no fun.

 

Focus on doing your best to ground yourself to things that are positive are real. The mind and subconscious is a cruel mistress sometimes and can make things out to be more uncomfortable then they are. Remember the fear and anxiety might be a mile long but it is only 1/2" thick.

 

My dad told me “when times are good it’s not as good as it seems and when times are bad it’s not as bad as it seems.”

 

Are you taking anything for depression?

Ive been suicidal in the past and its a very dark place.
I felt my brain was malfunctioning and no amount of positive talk/thought really does anything to help.

I’m sorry you are going through this.

Know there are people who understand.

 

Thanks for reviving.

Kind of in a strange spot at the minute myself.

Anyone ever get a case of the burnout so severe that it knocks out one's self esteem/self worth? That's where I am. I currently work a job that really plays into my skill set, and I have greatly enjoyed parts of it. But, to keep things purposefully vague, it went into a death spiral of toxicity and I had to pull the pin on the HR grenade this month. I'm not going to pretend that doing so doesn't ignite some bridges - i was well aware of that before I did it. It means I'm pretty much done, even if I'm walking on my terms.

But now I'm smack gobbed with a case of the doubts and what ifs. "Was I a victim, or was I a giant asshole? Who would hire my oddly specialized resume? What if my skills aren't as transferable as I thought? What if I want to do something new, could I survive if I cut my income in half? Or less? Could I pay bills? Could I enjoy a reasonably comfortable life? Will I still have weekends? Will I have to sell one of the cars? Will I have to go back to working the oil fields, and will my aging back hold up to it? What on earth do I even want to do for the next decade or so? Why in the hell does a cheap restaurant meal for two people cost 80 bucks these days!? Forget losing a job, how can I even afford that now?"

That's been pretty much my head space for the previous two months.

 

I know the feels. I unfortunately had lost my great paying job back in October. They let go the whole crew. I just recently got a new job. But it's kinda a kick in the teeth to find job that paid me close to what I was getting before. Down side it takes me close to an hour to get to this new job and even longer with traffic going home. I info have had nothing go as planned in my life for as long as I can remember. I just try to keep trucking. It definitely hasn't been a good life but I'm still here somehow.

 

I happened across this one a few days ago -

I got a friend that manages to eat a balanced breakfast every morning, finds the time to exercise daily, has sex every night, and still he reads a couple of books a week. And yet all he talks about is how much he hates prison.



... We do need to concentrate on the things that are going well for us. It ain't easy sometimes, but when I force myself to start counting the good things... it helps.

 

Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Sit back and enjoy the fireworks.

 

Going through something similar. Job is stressful and just went under a new manager and we don't see eye to eye.

I have lost jobs in the past due to being set up by toxic co-workers, so it doesn't take me much to start stressing over someone else screwing me over. Especially because I'm gay, and while I absolutely hate this reality, not everyone is OK with that. I do NOT feel it's an issue here directly, and I feel very supported by the organization, there is just always that nagging feeling because of past experiences creating an anxiety trigger. Am I making things up? Do I need to CYA? Should I ever dare accuse anyone of anything even if that's how I feel? How do I have conversations with leadership without burning bridges or creating a bad brand?


I don't know you or the situation, but if you are asking yourself the question about if you are the asshole or not, to me that says you have a lot of self awareness and that usually means you aren't the problem.

True assholes don't ask themselves that question.

I'm not afraid of work. Not to live and provide for myself and my spouse. Especially in the short term. So having to do something else doesn't scare me. Don't think too far ahead on that issue. Stay focused on the now. Be open to the possibility of finding something better that pays better, because it could happen. Even if you lose some weekends and have to make cuts short term before it happens.

I've made some of the best money bartending and serving. So I can make a lot happen with an easy to be had job while I work on the next move.

I've got two master's degrees and have not worked in a job that has required even a bachelors. Job competing today is different. Marketing yourself for jobs isn't like it used to be. People don't give a shit half the time if you went to college and I think that makes the job market better. It all comes down about selling your skills and being able to pivot and be agile to job demands and demonstrating that in a resume.

It will happen, because you make it happen.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

Again don't focus on too much at one time. If it becomes necessary to do something else short term while you work on the next big thing, that's fine. Your next job doesn't have to be a next decade commitment.

Shit if you are able, go deliver for UPS lol. If anything, go do something fun. Pretend you are 25 again, and as long as bills are paid, pick something that gives you the mental break to give you clarity. Drive for Uber. Bartend. What jobs can you do to put money on the table that brings you back to things that bring you joy?

I quit a full time job to serve and bartend. Met a lot of great people that helped me focus in on my priorities.

 

I think we all think about ending it all. Death is peace suicide is the short cut.
For me and everything i'm going through would be cheaper too.I have heart issues.
Had 4 to 5 heart attacks last year first one had pain for several days 3rd day went to ER took them like 4 hours to figure im having a heart attack than had stents put in me. Other 3 to 4 i didn't even realize i had them. Been out of work since March last year. In n out of hospital test after test. Bunch of different docs. Bunch of meds now. Went in for another test on the 29 of last month and they ended up putting a icd in me to control my heart beats because mine sometimes goes to fast and some times to slow and sometimes skips.
Also it sends reports to the doc.Funny thing is i smoked since i was 11 years old and quit smoking last year in feb. than 4 weeks later i had the first heart attack. Before heart attack didn't go to doc for a good 14 years i guess. I have a high pain tolerance and usually just walk it off that is what i was taught growing up. I would go to the er for stitches and they would ask me if i wanted something to numb the area i would tell them why just do the stitches and get it over with.So now I cannot return to work till docs give me the paper saying i can return to work with no restrictions. I need to do some work on my Tacoma but can't do it can't really do anything.Plus i have IBS and that has been acting up alot. To top everything off i bruise mad easily now. But all in all my wife is sticking by my side and i ask her if she is ready to let me go she says no.

 

When I threw my back out there was a time when I was feeling fairly useless. It wasn't the pain that got me down. It was the inability to contribute in the ways that I always have. I'm suspecting you're the same.

My harshest lessons were to a) be able to accept help when I need help and b) redefine roles, even if temporary, so that I still get that needed accomplishment.

So there were some months where I could do little physically. I still had my brain. And when the tires needed rotating on the hatchback, I turned to the role of teacher. I taught the wife how to chock wheels, safely get the car on stands, get leverage on a breaker bar, and how best to lift a tire onto the lugs. The job got done, I felt useful, and the wife really enjoyed doing something "tough." It was a win win. In the meantime my main job was improving my health and getting to the point where I could lift things again.

This is your primary job too. Get better. Your health is your job. Accept help from your loving family - they are your coworkers in project "make you healthy," so didn't be afraid to delegate. In return, teach. Provide emotional support. Find the myriad of little things, be where you can, and enjoy the time spent together.

Best of luck.

 

Depression indeed sucks.

Been dealing with it for more than 7 years. Had it as a teen and got past it for a while. Now it’s severe. Out of work, can’t concentrate or focus; just ruminate. Had been in a very dark place but my daughter keeps me going - the light of my life. I’ve been going through various medication combinations without any success. The latest cocktail has given me tongue chewing and a constant fog - great. Even tried Ketamine, ECT, intensive outpatient therapy last summer.

There’s a good group of people on TW that make me feel comfortable enough to share. It helps knowing I’m not alone.

 

I'm with you brother. I'm 38 and been dealing with anxiety/depression since I was 14.
I started a new job three weeks ago and just quit yesterday. The struggle is real my friend. The emotions I'm going through today is rough.

 

Hang in there, brother. You can only do what you can. I’m listening to a book on Libby. Helps take my mind off of things for a while. There’s an app called PTSD Coach that is good for guided meditation as well.

 

Timely thread bump. I spent the last 15 minutes deciding if I was going to post and what I was going to say if I did. lol

I'm not a person that usually has any problems dealing with decisions or emotions. Two weeks ago that all came crashing down. I've been replaying my life through the memories in my head and second guessing so many things. To top it off I'm currently on a workmans comp claim. That means I can't work so I've been inside my own head 24/7 for 14 days straight. Not a fun place to be currently.

Last week I finally admitted to myself I'm not gonna figure this out on my own. Thursday I go see a shrink for the first time in my life. Which is funny because I'm not a huge fan of shrinks. I've always been a deal with it and move on type of guy. Not being able to move on has thrown a real wrench in that system that I haven't yet figured out how to fix. Worse case the shrink just becomes a sounding board so I can vent. Best case he actually gives me some solid advice. Either way I'm committed to getting through this shit and back to my old cocky arrogant self.

 

Mind racing is no fun. I've been to skrinks on n off for over 15years. You sound alot like my brother. He always tells me to shake it off like it's an easy thing to do. For him it is but me dealing with depression for more than half my life you can't just shake it off. Hopefully a shrink works for you. A mind is a terrible place for some of us. Sorry I ramble alot. It's how my mind works.