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Big fat comedy thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by toy02ota, May 29, 2010.

  1. May 29, 2010 at 7:59 AM
    #1
    toy02ota

    toy02ota [OP] Local TW dissenter

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    I havent seen anything like this on here. Post videos of your favorite comedians or write your favorite jokes. A little comedy never hurt anyone. Don't want TW getting too serious now do we :rolleyes:.
    I'll start
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYqJFUxR_6U
    Lyrics:
    High School party, senior year
    Boys and girls are all sippin' on beer
    I like soda, where's the soda
    Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda
    I see you from across the crowd
    I said the party is bumpin' and the music is loud
    You're really drunk and you're looking sad
    It's like a date rape ad

    Girl, then we start to dance and
    Girl, baby this is romance
    Girl, I'm starting to grow down below, shit, why did I wear sweat pants
    Girl, you're bodies like what
    conjunction junction, that's a fine ass but
    I'm like a cashew in a lollipop, Just keeping suckin' 'til you get to the nut

    And I said
    Let's rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
    Either way girl, we're taking a walk(wok)...nothing?
    You're going to love me the way my uncle did
    Except you're not gonna to go to court for doin' it
    Be a guillotine or my girl instead
    Either way, you're giving me head
    I'm gonna love you the right way
    Shorty with a body looking hotty when I say

    Girl
    When I say girl

    We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
    Why's it called dry humping if I always need a towel after
    You spread your naked legs and I see that wound that never healed
    Even though you're yelling for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
    We're both aware of my erection
    You ask if I have protection
    I say Well um no...I-I tried to buy em once I was in the convenient store my old baby sitter walked in I had to hide them near the tic-tacs I was so embarrassed I peed myself a little bit

    Girl
    Girl

    Insert a euphemism
    A sexy mental prism
    Increase my pelvic rhythm
    For you with my syllogism
    I know your body and I know how to please ya
    Don't thank me, thank wikipedia
    Guys don't go down, well I am-
    What the fuck is that, I should have brought my diagram
    Ooh did you feel that, that was an educated guess
    Ooh did you feel that, uh that one was a sneeze, my bad

    High school party, senior year
    None of that happened cause I wasn't invited...hm
     
  2. May 29, 2010 at 10:26 AM
    #2
    toy02ota

    toy02ota [OP] Local TW dissenter

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  3. May 29, 2010 at 10:31 AM
    #3
    Bullzi511Tacoma06

    Bullzi511Tacoma06 KCCO

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  4. May 29, 2010 at 10:37 AM
    #4
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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  5. May 29, 2010 at 10:38 AM
    #5
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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  6. May 29, 2010 at 10:39 AM
    #6
    toy02ota

    toy02ota [OP] Local TW dissenter

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    Haha Jeff Dunham is awesome :p
     
  7. May 29, 2010 at 10:44 AM
    #7
    toy02ota

    toy02ota [OP] Local TW dissenter

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  8. May 29, 2010 at 10:46 AM
    #8
    mntbiker2008

    mntbiker2008 First I derp.. then I herp

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  9. May 29, 2010 at 10:50 AM
    #9
    jandrews

    jandrews Carolina Alliance Southwest Region Ambassador

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  10. May 29, 2010 at 10:56 AM
    #10
    MxRacer190

    MxRacer190 Well-Known Member

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  11. May 29, 2010 at 11:06 AM
    #11
    Bullzi511Tacoma06

    Bullzi511Tacoma06 KCCO

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    Ron White is my favorite. Jeff Dunham is really funny too.
     
  12. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:20 PM
    #12
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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  13. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:30 PM
    #13
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    if you haven't seen this guy, you gotta watch this. there are many times when i see or hear a comedian and i'm like "yeah, i agree with alot this guy says, or yeah, i've thought that before!" but this is the first comedian who i've listened to who could literally be an identical carbon copy of me. i've had most of in not all the same thoughts this guy has, but he's way funnier than i could ever be. but even the "muffin" skit for those who know what i'm talking about. i've had plenty of little deranged thoughts that pop into my mind at random moments just like that one. So having said that, here is the muffin skit. I will post up more good ones as i find them

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnOg01N1u3w&feature=related
     
  14. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:33 PM
    #14
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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  15. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:43 PM
    #15
    jandrews

    jandrews Carolina Alliance Southwest Region Ambassador

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    Bill Hicks was an unheralded genius and quite possibly one of the most important philosophers of the 20th century.

    That he was an excellent comedian with the same material should probably frighten us more than it does.
     
  16. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:49 PM
    #16
    derekp

    derekp giddy up!

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    Bill Engvall, Rodney Carrington, Greg Warren (flute man), John Caparulo, James P. Connolly. I listen to Blue Collar radio on Sirius most of the day, laughing my butt off.
     
  17. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:53 PM
    #17
    weiser5150

    weiser5150 Stickers and new floormats arent Mods

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  18. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:57 PM
    #18
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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  19. Jun 1, 2010 at 1:59 PM
    #19
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    yeah, i can see that. you can tell he's smart as hell. i have a new comedian to add to my list of favorites now :)
     
  20. Jun 1, 2010 at 2:05 PM
    #20
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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