Boot Camp/Military Hazing Stories

After Basic, I went to tech school. The day we got there we had to clean out our new rooms and get new linnen. Well there were some people telling us we had to turn our matreses is for "Matres Check". I was like "Ya, right." 10 min later I saw a guy draging his matres down the stair well. ROLF!!! Since I have been in I have seen all sorts of stuff on the flight line. We send the new guys out all the time to find the "Aircraft Keys" This one guy was gone for like six hours before he realized planes don't have "Keys". Or we send them to supply looking for a bucket of "K9P". Supply gets a kick out of telling the new guys they don't stock dog piss. And there is the classic echo check. We get the new guys to "Yell" into the inlet of the engines. Yes, people actualy fall for it. There are vids on U Tube of this one.

 

my two favorites:

sent the new guy to go repair the cracked windscreen - gets out to the plane to find a hairy ass in it.

in the cockpit with the new guy when he reaches under the seat and pulls out the plastic thing with the hose on it, " Whats this ?! " (remember he asked).
I said, you dont know what that is? he said no.
I said it the aux communication device, even called it the ACD. I explained its so the pilots can still talk to each other in case of power failure. I pulled my out and and told him to talk into his. He willing does and yells " did you hear me?" I said no, try again! And he did. Once again " did you hear me? " I said no, so he tells me to say something and puts it to his ear. By this time i could no longer control myself and had to get out before i busted.
For those who haven't figured it out, he was talking into the relief tube. or as we called it, the piss tube.

 

Still in the Army, We have asked new Privates to go directly to supply to draw Chem-light batteries.

 

AF Law Enforcement. Used to send Jeeps to the Hospital to get new fallopian tubes for the Breathalyzer Machine.

 

When hangering an H-60 Hellicopter I thought I would get a young airman and told him to go make sure the ejection seats were pinned. I had just said that when a SSgt jumped up and said "I'll get it" and ran out to the hellicopter. I just goes to show they dont always have to be new to get them.

 

dont got any really funny stories. just got smoked a lot for doin retarded things.

one day some dumbass pvt decided to write " I love SGT WILSON" on his bedroom door in the barracks. he found out and the pvt wouldnt fess so we had to mop and wax the floors twice!!! and the black lining stuff on the bottom of the walls in the barracks, we had to make sure there was no stain no water makrs no soap marks no nothing. and this went on for about 8 hours. missed dinner chow and had to get the midnight chow.

sucked ass. and the pvt who wrote that on the wall was the student floor sgt...

 

ive heard go ask the dc's for a DC punch..go get me a bucket of prop wash, go down to the mess deck and tell me the reading on the pe-psi gauge...all pretty funny

 

1. When I first went to tech school the "Ropes" locked us newby's in the dayroom and said "welcome to fight club". Well you get the idea on what happened next. A few months later there was a big investigation going on about that.

2. I had one of my troops do an intercom check on the H-53 piss tube. It's a small funnel attached to a hose that drains out the bottom of the aircraft. So my buddy went underneath the helo and this troop put his mouth on the piss funnel and repeated "testing, testing, 123". We made him do it a few times and decided the intercom check was good.

3. One day while sitting around the smoke pit I was joking around with a new guy and mentioned something about a pap smear. He looked at me w/ an odd look and said "what's a pap smear?" At that point a light bulb clicked in my head and I responded, "Don't tell me you haven't gotten your pap smear. Dude, that was supposed to be done the first day you got here." He looked nervous. I said, "Here call the hospital and schedule your pap smear appointmet right now." I gave him my cell and dialed the number for him. Little did he know I dialed the flight chiefs number. When the flight chief answered the newby asked about scheduling for a pap smear. Being the whitty flight chief, he scheduled a fake appointment and said to "come on down to the hospital immediately." So the new guy left to hospital and came back 20 mins later with a look of embaressment and disgust.

4. During my last duty day while at Hurlburt Field, they tied me up and did the whole hazing thing. The effed up thing was they sprayed me down with warm water to open up my pores on my face, then rubbed hot sauce on me, then sprayed me down with cold water to close the pores. WOW, talk about burning sensation. I stood in the shower for 30 mins using dawn and whatever else soap I could muster up before the burning sensation went away.

I've got a whole lot more but these are the ones that stand out.

 

Basic Training - Was lots of fun messing with the newest batch. 'Square needle in the left nut' was always fun.

Tech school - The 'Grand Rope' would come in and make you stand at parade rest by the dayroom window doing hurricane watch (Keesler, MS).

 

Being in a Cavalry BN, we are mechanized infantry combined with armor. Tracked vehicles, like tanks, have "road wheels" that keep the tracks in line between the sprockets that move the tracks. It is always a good time telling an FNG to go check the pressure on the road wheels. It usually takes a couple of hours for them to figure out that they are solid rubber. The ones that you have to worry about are the ones that come back with an answer.
The really fun ones are the "corrective training measures" that some NCO's come up with. In this kindler, gentler Army, we aren't allowed to smoke the dogsh_t out of soldiers anymore, so we have to come up with corrective training that teaches a lesson. Like painting a 3 foot section of an old telephone pole like a beer can and making the idiot that got in trouble for public intox or DUI carry it around everywhere for a week.

 

personal fav lol

 

chem light batteries are always a classic. a "box of ground guides" is another... i used to be a supply sergeant and i had the poor guys asking me for stupid shit all the time..

 

All of my fellow jarheads will know this one "E-tool" Qual. We jacked up a lot of LT's covers that way.

 

mk punch is great, and keys to the sea chest

 

Yeah, we sent a new guy in for some fellopian tube for the surge tank drain kit, and he came out with a bright red hand print across his face. Apparently we had a shift rotation in support.
The K-9P is a classic. Right along with exhaust samples. And how many of you guys told your FNg's to point out the flux capacitor. I went into a flight crew de-briefing and the Tsgt. that was in there with me responded to the pilot's gripe about the jet not handeling right for him and without any hesitation he told the pilot that the problem may stem from the flight control actuator and that it most definitely needs replacing. The entire room agreed and said we should get one on order.

 

We used to give the new guys hammers and tell them to get on top of the 1114's and check for soft spots in the armor.

 

A couple of my favorites... send them to get a BA-1100-N from supply, a box of grid squares.
We were the Falcon Brigade so we would send them up to Brigade headquarters to feed the Falcon. (there was no Falcon). Send them to get the keys to let the Falcon out of his cage to get exercise.

Always fun to mess with FNG's especially the gullible ones.

 

yep and come back to find a bunch of chalk circles on the "soft spots"

anybody ever have to koala-fy?
bear hug a tree upside-down a couple of feet up

how about the guy who losses one thing then has to "dummy cord" everything else to his body? k-pot, IBA, rack, canteen, ect

 

1.) tacking of the crow.
2.) bloody wings from getting warfare qual. (AW)

Telling the Bootcampers to go to Maint/Control and ask the MCPO or SCPO for Prop Wash!! LOL.
Ask Supply for chemlight batteries...lol

GOLDENSHELLBACKS RULE!!