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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. Jun 30, 2020 at 8:26 PM
    #1
    pinktaco808

    pinktaco808 [OP] Hot Steppa

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    Post it here shoots


    • "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
     
  2. Jul 1, 2020 at 12:02 PM
    #2
    azreb

    azreb Geezer

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    That's as bad as the one that says no more than 239 beans can be used to make chili.
     
  3. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:46 PM
    #3
    jayway

    jayway Well-Known Member

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    Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother; Broco Lee
     
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  4. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:56 PM
    #4
    xaircav

    xaircav Well-Known Member

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    Wheat Ridge, CO
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    A lawyer’s widow and her son visit the cemetery. They find dad’s stone which is engraved “ Here lies John Smith, an honest lawyer and a faithful husband”. The kid asks mom “ Who are the other two guys in the grave with dad?”
     
  5. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:58 PM
    #5
    Newlife

    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    Bone f’n stock for now
    Why aren’t mountains funny?

    they’re hill areas
     
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  6. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:17 AM
    #6
    pinktaco808

    pinktaco808 [OP] Hot Steppa

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    Huh
     
    2000prerunner23, Nopro and TRD-ED like this.
  7. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:20 AM
    #7
    Newlife

    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    Bone f’n stock for now
    Say it fast
     
  8. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:25 AM
    #8
    tomwil

    tomwil Well-Known Member

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    Hint: The joke's hilarious.
     
  9. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:28 AM
    #9
    PinnaclePete

    PinnaclePete I am what I am

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    Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?



    Great food, no atmosphere!
     
  10. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:31 AM
    #10
    wrightme43

    wrightme43 Well-Known Member

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    You see this ceiling right here!

    Now I am not saying it is the best ceiling, but it is certainly up there.
     
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  11. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:37 AM
    #11
    PinnaclePete

    PinnaclePete I am what I am

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    One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill.





    They were Goodyears!
     
  12. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:38 AM
    #12
    JimboAnz

    JimboAnz #OldNorm

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    My Dad used to use that one all the time :rofl:
     
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  13. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:43 AM
    #13
    DWD484

    DWD484 Thread Killer

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    Louisiana
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    How does an Eskimo build a house?

    Igloo's it together.
     
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  14. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:47 AM
    #14
    DWD484

    DWD484 Thread Killer

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    What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

    Nobody knows.
     
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  15. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:49 AM
    #15
    SocalTaco15

    SocalTaco15 Well-Known Member

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    Why did the cop clean the bathroom?

    Because it was his duty.
     
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  16. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:52 AM
    #16
    TheFang

    TheFang No Big Deal

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    Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?


    Cause if they fell forward they would still be in the boat.
     
  17. Jul 2, 2020 at 10:55 AM
    #17
    Newlife

    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    A truck carrying a load of Worcestershire sauce crashes

    dispatcher: what’s the situation

    deputy: it’s hard to pronounce.


    :rimshot:
     
  18. Jul 2, 2020 at 11:09 AM
    #18
    CJREX

    CJREX Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a guy in the pool with no arms or legs? Bob

    What do you call a dog in the pool with no legs? Bob Barker
     
  19. Jul 2, 2020 at 11:38 AM
    #19
    MikeyMcFly

    MikeyMcFly This is heavy, Doc.

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    I'm a Masshole
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    Building a Broja
    To be frank I'd have to change my name.
     
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  20. Jul 2, 2020 at 5:20 PM
    #20
    Snowman

    Snowman I have a problem for your solution…

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    What do you call a lady with no arms or legs against a tree? Eileen.
     
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