Dad jokes

The Earth is 70% non-carbonated water...therefore the Earth is flat.

Don't @ me!

 

I started telling everybody about the benefits of eating dried grapes.




It's about raisin awareness.

 

If your American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom???





EuroPEEn

 

So, six golf clubs go into a bar. One says “5 beers and a coke, please”. Barman says “ don’t you mean 6 beers?”. “No…, coke for me, … I’m the driver.”

 

My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.


I said I didn't know he could!

 

https://fb.watch/foZI00sn0D/

 

I had a hen who could count her own eggs.


She was a mathemachicken.

 

Have you heard there’s a big sale at the marina?
It’s quite an oar-deal.

 

How do you get down off an elephant?


You don’t, you get down off a goose

 

Now it's complete.