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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

Page 53 of 71
  1. Oct 5, 2022 at 11:46 AM
    #1041
    grdgz97

    #1041
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

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    o_O
     
    grdgz97, Oct 5, 2022
    #1041
    imjustabill1970[QUOTED] likes this.
  2. Oct 8, 2022 at 8:57 AM
    #1042
    TartanEagle

    #1042
    TartanEagle Well-Known Member

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    If two Vegans get into an argument...

    is it still called a beef?
     
    TartanEagle, Oct 8, 2022
    #1042
    TexasTacoLT, SRH, Crowkiller06 and 3 others like this.
  3. Oct 8, 2022 at 8:58 AM
    #1043
    TartanEagle

    #1043
    TartanEagle Well-Known Member

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    A perfectionist walks into a bar.

    Apparently, it wasn't set high enough.
     
    TartanEagle, Oct 8, 2022
    #1043
    landphil, TexasTacoLT, SRH and 3 others like this.
  4. Oct 9, 2022 at 5:24 AM
    #1044
    Brian_d

    #1044
    Brian_d Well-Known Member

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    Socal
    D79233F4-053A-4864-A4A7-DBF60A872858.jpg
     
    Brian_d, Oct 9, 2022
    #1044
    SRH, TartanEagle, Crowkiller06 and 1 other person like this.
  5. Oct 10, 2022 at 4:08 AM
    #1045
    Crowkiller06

    #1045
    Crowkiller06 Yeah, but this one goes to 11!

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    Or....
    "Whose blood is this?, Where did you get it?, Why is it in a bucket?"
     
    Crowkiller06, Oct 10, 2022
    #1045
    TexasTacoLT, TartanEagle and imjustabill1970[QUOTED] like this.
  6. Oct 10, 2022 at 4:09 AM
    #1046
    Crowkiller06

    #1046
    Crowkiller06 Yeah, but this one goes to 11!

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    My family went out to a nice dinner last night.
    I ordered the duck.
    The bill was huge!
     
    Crowkiller06, Oct 10, 2022
    #1046
    TexasTacoLT, SRH, TartanEagle and 1 other person like this.
  7. Oct 10, 2022 at 4:09 AM
    #1047
    Crowkiller06

    #1047
    Crowkiller06 Yeah, but this one goes to 11!

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    What do you call a pug who lies around on the floor all day?

    A rug.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2022
    Crowkiller06, Oct 10, 2022
    #1047
    TexasTacoLT, SRH and grdgz97 like this.
  8. Oct 10, 2022 at 4:10 AM
    #1048
    Crowkiller06

    #1048
    Crowkiller06 Yeah, but this one goes to 11!

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    Which super power do you get when you become a parent?

    Supervision.
     
    Crowkiller06, Oct 10, 2022
    #1048
    TexasTacoLT, SRH, TartanEagle and 1 other person like this.
  9. Oct 10, 2022 at 6:39 AM
    #1049
    Tactical_Panda

    #1049
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

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    Fredericksburg, VA
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    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    Ego and Superego go into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry boys, I need to see some ID."
     
    Tactical_Panda, Oct 10, 2022
    #1049
    TexasTacoLT, blu92in99, SRH and 1 other person like this.
  10. Oct 12, 2022 at 10:14 AM
    #1050
    Brian_d

    #1050
    Brian_d Well-Known Member

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    Socal
    20bbeb118fbb41d72ba8dfc277b5b4c296dd5b9dd4cb895a42b21067b17d3457.jpg
     
    Brian_d, Oct 12, 2022
    #1050
    TexasTacoLT, Crowkiller06, Borracho Loco and 7 others like this.
  11. Oct 14, 2022 at 7:14 PM
    #1051
    Tiny's Taco

    #1051
    Tiny's Taco The Wanderer

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    That's a horrible idea. What time?
    Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?






    Because he conditioned it.
     
    Tiny's Taco, Oct 14, 2022
    #1051
    TexasTacoLT, smartbomb and Crowkiller06 like this.
  12. Oct 14, 2022 at 7:25 PM
    #1052
    Kosta2009

    #1052
    Kosta2009 Well-Known Member

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    None
    What kind of bees make milk?

    Boo Bees
     
    Kosta2009, Oct 14, 2022
    #1052
    TexasTacoLT, Crowkiller06, Borracho Loco and 3 others like this.
  13. Oct 14, 2022 at 10:44 PM
    #1053
    grdgz97

    #1053
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

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    Oof.
     
    grdgz97, Oct 14, 2022
    #1053
    Tiny's Taco[QUOTED] likes this.
  14. Oct 18, 2022 at 7:23 AM
    #1054
    9mmMike

    #1054
    9mmMike Well-Known Member

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    This jokes rings a bell...
     
    9mmMike, Oct 18, 2022
    #1054
    TacoRated, TexasTacoLT, Crowkiller06 and 4 others like this.
  15. Oct 18, 2022 at 7:50 AM
    #1055
    rleete

    #1055
    rleete Grumpy old man - get off my lawn

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    Roger
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    Billet grill
    Elvis Costello and ABBA are touring together this winter but they haven't figured out who the headliner will be.



    So, watch for ABBA and Costello to find out who's on first.
     
    rleete, Oct 18, 2022
    #1055
    TexasTacoLT, smartbomb, Crowkiller06 and 7 others like this.
  16. Oct 21, 2022 at 3:51 AM
    #1056
    Crowkiller06

    #1056
    Crowkiller06 Yeah, but this one goes to 11!

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    What do you call Dangerous Precipitation?


    A Rain of terror.
     
    Crowkiller06, Oct 21, 2022
    #1056
    TexasTacoLT, replica9000 and Cpl. Punishment like this.
  17. Oct 21, 2022 at 9:07 AM
    #1057
    Brian_d

    #1057
    Brian_d Well-Known Member

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    Socal
    1666149514518.jpg
     
    Brian_d, Oct 21, 2022
    #1057
    leftright, TexasTacoLT, Seth's Shadow and 8 others like this.
  18. Oct 21, 2022 at 7:55 PM
    #1058
    RdRunr

    #1058
    RdRunr Well-Known Member

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    Dan
    still in the Matrix
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    DT header, Flowmaster 50 Series Delta Flow muffler
    Dad: Eat your carrots; they are good for your eyes and vision.

    Child: No dad, there is no proof of that.

    Dad: Of course there is! Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2022
    RdRunr, Oct 21, 2022
    #1058
    TexasTacoLT, grdgz97 and Cpl. Punishment like this.
  19. Oct 22, 2022 at 11:21 AM
    #1059
    SRH

    #1059
    SRH My horns hold up my halo

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    56F9176B-0364-4FB4-A734-DF9EE12BEB28.jpg
     
    SRH, Oct 22, 2022
    #1059
    TexasTacoLT, ColoradoTJ, grdgz97 and 3 others like this.
  20. Oct 24, 2022 at 11:50 AM
    #1060
    imjustabill1970

    #1060
    imjustabill1970 Twitter: imjustabill1970

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    SUSPENSION: Icon Stage 4 with tubular UCAs WHEELS: Black ProComp 69 TIRES: BFG KO2s at 265/75/16 Partially debadged Diaz Fabrication Model T up front
    Nurses always carry red crayons in case they need to draw blood.
     
    imjustabill1970, Oct 24, 2022
    #1060
    TexasTacoLT, KactusJack and Cpl. Punishment like this.
Page 53 of 71

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