Dad jokes

I really want to learn sign language, people say it is very handy.

 

3 friends went elk hunting
2nd day one friend shot a small cow elk that they drug back to camp to gut and skin. In the middle of skinning 1 of the friends had to take a dump really bad.
He had been constipated for a couple of days and could be heard grunting and groaning loudly. All of a sudden things went deadly silent and the friends decided they had better check on him. They discovered that he had strained so hard that he passed out. 1 of the friends laughed and convinced the other to help him drag the elk intestines over to their unresponsive friend. They arranged them just so and retreated back to the campfire and waited for their friend to come to. Several minutes later the friend returned and his two friends while giggling uncontrollably ask if “every thing came out okay” to which their friend replied “Yes” “But thanks to the good Lord and a sharp stick I got them back in”

 

Reported for FB

BUT

 

This Dad with 7 kids with 6 different women = $222 per month

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0zaXT3pS-M/?igsh=MWlxOGVxbW1xZngyZw==

 

Words fail me.

 

Q: How can you tell Ronald McDonald in a nudist camp?

A: He has sesame seeds on his buns.

 

https://youtu.be/YsGjFh1ke44?si=VQttqrQTc6khTNOc

 

More like ....

 

I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement … It was a best cellar.

 

I was going to read that book, but decided it was beneath me.

 

I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.