Dad jokes

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man
approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer’s job. The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” “No matter,” said the man, “Observe!”

He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, “Bishop, who was this man?” “I don’t know his name,” the bishop replied, sadly, “but his face rings a bell.”

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, “Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.”

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. “What has happened?” the first breathlessly asked, “Who is this man?”

“I don’t know his name,” sighed the distraught bishop, “But he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”

 

When does a joke become a dad joke.



When it becomes apparent.

 

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

 

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

 

A man without any children, telling dad jokes is called...




A faux Pa

 

What do you call an old snowman?


A glass of water.

 

What has 5 toes but isn’t your foot?


My foot.

 

The early bird gets the worm.

The 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

 

What do you call a laughing motorcycle.


A Yamahaha.

 

What is the fastest liquid in the world?



Milk.

It's past your eyes before you know it! (pasteurized)

 

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm in your apple!

 

Ben and Betty were about to celebrate their 50th anniversary
She decided to surprise him by getting her butt cheeks tattooed with their initials
When Ben returned from the store she dropped her bloomers and bent over
Ben was baffled as he angrily shouted. WHO is BoB?

 

What do you call a spider with 10 eyes?


A spiiiiiiiiiider.

 

Why’d the scarecrow win an award?







he’s outstanding in his field!!!!!