Dad jokes

https://youtu.be/S-wmvHXOie0

 

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

---

Because they don’t have the guts.

 

What’s the last thing that went through the mosquito’s mind when he hit the windshield

His rear end

 

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field…

 

What’s the leading cause of dry skin?




Towels

 

My wife got mad at me and told me to stop acting like a flamingo.

I manned up and put my foot down!

 

Why did the cop arrest the duck?




It was selling quack

 

A termite walks into a bar and asks…

Where’s the bar tender?

 

2 cannibals were eating a clown. One paused and said…

Does this taste funny to you?

 

What's a flamingo doing when it's standing on one leg?





Holding up the other one.

 

What's the most reliable part of the body?



Your fingers. You can always count on 'em

 

You can tell its Sunday morning... we're all on a roll

 

What are the strongest days of the week?


Saturday and Sunday…all the others are weekdays

 

Why is Sunday always calm?

Because it knows the rest is history.

 

What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?




One letter

 

Back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the Mayo for delivery in Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after it's stop in NY, but it sunk. Mexicans, who were crazy about mayonnaise, were at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which we now know as Cinco de Mayo .... Happy 5/5 ]

 

Why didn't the photon pack a suitcase for his long trip?



Because he was traveling light

 

What's a shark's favorite saying?



"Man overboard!"

 

How about: "He was a light traveler"

Maybe???

 

My son was chewing on electrical cords, I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently, he’s conducting himself properly.