Dad jokes

You should of let her borrow yours. Itxs the neighborley thing to do.

 

I tell Dad jokes...... sometimes he laughs

 

My friend's band just performed at the Smucker's factory.
.
It was a jam session..... ba dum, Ching!

 

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?


A pumpkin patch.

 

It starts with a dad joke, so it counts, right?

 

You hear the joke about paper?

It’s tearable.

 

You ever wonder what happened to the name lance?

Guys used to be called lance a lot.

 

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg ?

 

The village idiot had a birthday party
His friends hired a "lady" for the evening as a surprise for him
They went to his room to get acquainted & got undressed
She said "Let's go to town"
So he left

 

What kind of bee produces milk?



A boobie.

 

One of my childhood memories was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed….

I miss teleporting.

It never happens to me anymore.

 

Baby seal walks into a club...

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

 

Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint

 

I went to the doctor because I couldn't stop telling airport jokes. Doctor told me it is a terminal condition

 

So a couple friends on a camping trip sit down by the fire after a day fishing when they notice a bear has spotted them and appears to be less interested in the fish and more interested in the fishermen. As the first one gets up in a panic he notices that his buddy doesn't seem too concerned and is tightening up the laces on his shoes. "What the hell are you doing" he yells at his friend, "do you really think you're gonna outrun a bear?" The friend looks back at him with an expression combining guilt and sincerity and replies, "I don't need to outrun the bear, I just need to outrun you."

 

Get out!