Dad jokes

Half the jokes here aren’t kiddo friendly.

 

True!

 

https://youtu.be/6l1GvDWtccI

 

What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?


Ian.

 

Feel free to delete if it's a repost

 

In that case….

What’s something you can say to your dog but not your girlfriend?



Come

 

Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill.




It’s a little fit bunny.

 

How do you know Mike Tyson was against religion?


He kept punching people in the faith.

 

The other 50% is to be used as a looming threat by your wife when she's trying to scare the children into acting right

That was my mom's favorite phrase growing up anyhow - 'just wait until your father gets home and hears about this'

As an adult and relatively new father of an 18mo old, I feel pretty bad for my dad now...that's kind of a shitty spot to get forced into, especially right when you walk in the door lol.

 

https://youtu.be/-lKeifVz3b8

 

Did you hear about the chicken ballerina?


To watch her dance was like poultry in motion.

 

Ever try a Donkey-burger?


Taste like A $ $

 

This is a dad-joke. Ha!

 

What’s the difference between your marriage and your job?

After 10 years, your job still screws ya.

 

What do you call a caveman fart?






A blast from the past

 

Did y'all hear that Yogi bear is so old that he's lost all his teeth?



Now everybody is calling him a gummy bear.

 

What do Ivan the terrible, Winnie the pooh, and Alexander the great all have in common?


Same middle name!

 

How do you know if there’s a guy that drives a Tacoma at your party?

He’ll tell ya.